Anonymous wrote:My guess is to practice undoing the clasp so he doesn't embarrass himself with a girl.

This was the first thing that came to my mind too.

I remember having a conversation with a group of friends where the guys talked about the bra clasp thing. They said that it was a major source of stress during their teen years. A couple of them said that they practiced with heir mom or sister's bras. One guy said that he and his buddy took turns putting the bra on over their shirt so the other could practice on an actual person. This guy is totally normal, happily married and his wife was there when he told the story. She thought it was hilarious. Kids do weird stuff like that. I wouldn't overthink it. I remember doing some weird stuff to practice kissing.

Is this a sexy bra?

Anonymous wrote:Does it make me a horrible mom that I would flat out ask him why he had one of my old bras? I am seriously asking my oldest is 12 and I'm bracing myself for the teen years.

What's he going to say, exactly? I give you 99.9999% odds he will say "I don't know". So why bother asking?

Don't ask him about it. He will be mortified in perpetuity.

Anonymous wrote:Does it make me a horrible mom that I would flat out ask him why he had one of my old bras? I am seriously asking my oldest is 12 and I'm bracing myself for the teen years.

Yes it does, esp if the situation were like op's. There's no way that having your bra could cause him harm. There's no reason for you to know why he has it other than to satisfy your curiosity. That conversation would only serve to embarrass your son. What's worse is, he asked you not to look in a drawer and the second he was out of the room, you violated his privacy. It's an old bra you no longer need or want. (Why do you keep 8yo lingerie that doesn't fit anyway.) Nothing good would come of asking him about that situation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's best to not ask or mention it to him. It will be so embarrassing for him and I doubt he will tell you exactly why he has your bra.

I would keep an eye without being obvious. Have open conversations. I'm a mom of young adult kids. Through their teens, I snooped a little just to be aware of what was going on.

Keep an eye out for what?

I would NOT tell your son you know about it. He would likely be too embarrassed to talk about it. Sure, keep a line of conversation open about sex in general, but good god give the kid some privacy!

The mother should be given respect and privacy too and not have boundaries crossed or personal items like her underwear stolen from her.

Anonymous wrote:I think it's best to not ask or mention it to him. It will be so embarrassing for him and I doubt he will tell you exactly why he has your bra.

I would keep an eye without being obvious. Have open conversations. I'm a mom of young adult kids. Through their teens, I snooped a little just to be aware of what was going on.

Keep an eye out for what?

I would NOT tell your son you know about it. He would likely be too embarrassed to talk about it. Sure, keep a line of conversation open about sex in general, but good god give the kid some privacy!

Does it make me a horrible mom that I would flat out ask him why he had one of my old bras? I am seriously asking my oldest is 12 and I'm bracing myself for the teen years.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My laundry ends up in my teenage son's room on occasion. I ask him to bring the laundry up and sort it, and he does a lousy job. Then a week later, when he finds my bra/underwear/Tshirt/pants in his room, he's too embarrassed to admit, so he just shoves it somewhere.

That's impossible. I haven't been able to fit into this bar for years, like 8 years.
We moved 4 years ago and the bra was never in his room.

So somehow he knew you were not using it. And its smaller? Likely he is jerking off. I wouldn't leave it for now Unless it happens again or you find your underwear this time or something.

Imitating tv programs (cross dressing etc) is likely but it wouldn't persist. My sister's son did the hing in american pie

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe he likes the idea of looking at it while masterbating

OP here, that was the second thing I thought of but didn't know how to express that here without sounding weird.
Could be.

I asked my DH what he would think if he found such a scenario. He said the first thing that comes to his mind is that the boy is curious. I said, "but, that's his mom's bra?". He said, "it doesn't matter. It had boobs in them."

I am a woman and this was my first thought too. It's titillating, no pun intended, even without the tits. Don't worry OP there's no reason to think he's cross dressing or thinking of you when he masturbates. Do NOT mention it.

Most likely he was jerking off.

But I'd not raise it with him ...... it would be merely embarrass him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My guess is to practice undoing the clasp so he doesn't embarrass himself with a girl.

+1 but why would your dh think he's cross dressing? There's got to be more to that.

Because DH has been reading too much of the Washington Post and/or other so-called progressive, prominent media, and is under the impression that EVERYONE secretly does this -- and is in deep turmoil and angst about going public about it -- because it is being made to seem so normal.

*Sigh*

Do you have any idea how tiresome people like you are?

No, not really. Actually, I think it's a refreshing point of view.