Anonymous wrote:How would your kid not find out? I mean, surely they're going to need their birth certificate as a form of ID once they're an adult on their own? That's only a few years off, OP.

OP here. The dad's name is on the birth certificate, not the bio father's one.

And yes, there are family pictures where the pregnant mom is pictured with the dad even before the baby was born, and of course a lot of pictures with the newborn and dad.

PPs who mentioned health concerns - how would it help to know that the dad's side of the family is not related, if they are in normal health? The grandparents' health isn't perfect, but it's ok - some back pain here, some high blood pressure there, but they are old, and a lot of old people have that. The bio father's family health is unknown.

I think it depends on whether "I" (as the child) was a boy or girl. If a boy, definitely I would want to know. If a girl, I may want to know.

The kid may already suspect something is off, especially if there are 2 other siblings that may have different physical characteristics or personality traits. However, if there are newborn baby pictures and the new dad was already there, then maybe not.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, from a health perspective I would want to know. My dad - the guy who loved, provided for me and raised me - would still be my dad.

Exactly.

Even if you don't know health history on the bio dad, it's helpful to know there isn't a bio link with her legal father.

Yes, from a health perspective I would want to know. My dad - the guy who loved, provided for me and raised me - would still be my dad.

Medicine is highly dependent on family history.

Your child's life could depend upon knowing their history, it's grossly negligent not to share that information.

Tell the child now. If they are angry with you then that's the price you pay for lying but it's a small price compared to the big picture.

I don't think I'd want to know.

Would I "want" to know that my beloved dad was not my bio father, no. Would I want to discover this later not having been told it directly by my dad (the one who raised me) and my mom, absolutely, positively no. Imo, this stuff always comes out at some point - better it happen from the parents who love her and can give her the true facts opposed to later from a family member with no common sense or who accidentally slips.

Anonymous wrote:I often wonder if I am biologically related to my family. It would explain a lot if I wasn't. I would want to know if I was the 20 yo college student.

Can you surreptitiously do a DNA test?

I would not want to know. No way.

Honestly, I wouldn't want to know. Unless her bio dad has some serious genetic issues she would want to know about..

How would your kid not find out? I mean, surely they're going to need their birth certificate as a form of ID once they're an adult on their own? That's only a few years off, OP.

Yes. No good can come from lies.

I think you should tell her and you should have told her a long time ago. Now when you tell her it will be this big huge earth shattering thing. If you had just been matter of fact about it as she was growing up, it may not have been that big of a deal.

I often wonder if I am biologically related to my family. It would explain a lot if I wasn't. I would want to know if I was the 20 yo college student.

No, I would not want to know at this point.