OP, I suggest you see a therapist to discuss this. You could get some insight about your childhood and food issues. You are trying to control them too much. It won't work and they will be miserable and probably develop eating disorders for life. Food is something they can control when you're not there obsessing!!!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I grew up, a whole birthday cake was like the size of a pound cake. The family and friends cut thin slices and that was your piece. You got a taste and that was enough. The rest of the party food was nuts and raisins. Maybe ice cream. One bottle of soda to share among 15 people. If you got thirsty, you drank water. When you left the party, you weren't stuffed, but you were happy to be around friends listening to music and so on. I saw nothing wrong with that, now I am being told I was abused.

If its so great, maybe you should raise your family there.

And I bet you're at least 10 to 15 lbs overweight, 2nd PP.

OP,

American kids are too fat, and obesity is an epidemic in this country.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I grew up, a whole birthday cake was like the size of a pound cake. The family and friends cut thin slices and that was your piece. You got a taste and that was enough. The rest of the party food was nuts and raisins. Maybe ice cream. One bottle of soda to share among 15 people. If you got thirsty, you drank water. When you left the party, you weren't stuffed, but you were happy to be around friends listening to music and so on. I saw nothing wrong with that, now I am being told I was abused.

If its so great, maybe you should raise your family there.

I never said it was great. I said I never saw anything wrong with the way we were fed.
I see something majorly wrong with the way modern people are fed.
Too. Much. Food.

Anonymous wrote:What country did you grow up in, OP?

Curious because many of my friends/relatives who grew up in poor countries, and who grew up knowing hunger, actually tend to err on the side of forcing their kids to eat TONS from an early age and fret about them being too thin. They do anything to cajole and bribe their kids (who I personally feel could afford to miss a meal, because I am similar to you, OP) to eat-- and not things like broccoli, but things like chicken nuggets.

We did not feel that we knew hunger.
What you don't understand is that in the 1960s, food was not all over the place. Drug stores sold drugs, gas stations sold gas. You went to the supermarket for food or the outdoor markets. If you wanted cookies, you started with flour and sugar...My family was upper middle class and we never felt deprived. However, on occasion, maybe 6 times a year, I don't know for sure, we would get caught in some kind of circumstance that made it hard to get food. So we really were hungry. Not a little hungry, but really bad belly pains. The little ones would cry, we just knew to not make a big deal out of it. My parents never stopped to get something, since that was not so easy, we would just drive home and eat. So, yes I felt more hunger than my kids. I only know of one experience where my dd was so excited to go out with her friend that she forgot to eat before leaving home. They went to the Kennedy Center and somehow, they did not get food. She cried when she came home, and to this date, I can't get her to go there again. That is the only time I know of my kid getting really hungry.
My parents are well educated, so when we moved here, my mother never fed us junk. She knew about trans fat back in the late 70s. She was really suspicious of what was going into our food, so her skepticism limited our choices.

Anonymous wrote:When I grew up, a whole birthday cake was like the size of a pound cake. The family and friends cut thin slices and that was your piece. You got a taste and that was enough. The rest of the party food was nuts and raisins. Maybe ice cream. One bottle of soda to share among 15 people. If you got thirsty, you drank water. When you left the party, you weren't stuffed, but you were happy to be around friends listening to music and so on. I saw nothing wrong with that, now I am being told I was abused.

If its so great, maybe you should raise your family there.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Control a weight percentile?

How weird and scary.

Exactly what I thought! That sounds very abnormal. I hope this post is made up.

All I meant is that I listen in at the feds office, and I expect them to all stay above in height, with a lower number in weight. That is, thin, yes thin. I want my kids to be thin. It is not a crime. They do not need to snack all day. Even the healthy snacking is a dangerous habit. Allow the body to be little bit hungry every now and then. I am sure that my kids know nothing about real hunger. I bet most kids in the US know nothing about real hunger. Even the chubby kids in WV that we bring lunches to in the summer.

Newsflash: they will be what their metabolism leads them to be. And you're not doing them any favour on that regard.

Also, as soon as they'll be out of your clutches, they'll eat like there's no tomorrow because, thanks to your screwed up parenting, they never learned to self regulate.

My DHs best friend was denied food by his stepmother as a teen. To this day (nearly 30 years later), he remembers her denying him food based on what she thought he should eat. He was a growing teenager, and he was HUNGRY. So he would just go his friend's homes, where he knew he would get some food. If you are ok with that, keep doing what you are doing. Do not for a moment think your child isn't finding the food he needs to eat (or won't start).

So instead of getting bigger portions of the food you deem acceptable, he will eat whatever he can find. This isn't your war torn country - this is the U.S.,and there is plenty of good food and plenty of bullshit to eat. Teach him to make good choices based on where he lives now, not based on where you grew up.

And yes, DHs friend is the greediest person I have ever met. He is not polite about food at all. It is clear he has some issues around being deprived when his body was starving for food.

NP here. I am a European jew and had holocaust survivors in my family too. My family who didn't go away, most of them were a normal weight. My grandparents, who were in labor camps, both became morbidly obese in the 70s and 80s. My grandmother hid food all around the house and was never satisfied. She was diabetic and couldn't control her diet enough and died. I am 99% sure her issues were a result of being deprived.

I know your kids aren't being concentration camp deprived, op, but you aren't letting them self regulate. You're obsessed by a percentile and that's kind of crazy. When they go off to college and have access to the ice cream bar at every meal and late night pizza, they may go overboard and gain weight over your personal acceptable level, and then what will you do? Will you still love them?

Anonymous wrote:When I grew up, a whole birthday cake was like the size of a pound cake. The family and friends cut thin slices and that was your piece. You got a taste and that was enough. The rest of the party food was nuts and raisins. Maybe ice cream. One bottle of soda to share among 15 people. If you got thirsty, you drank water. When you left the party, you weren't stuffed, but you were happy to be around friends listening to music and so on. I saw nothing wrong with that, now I am being told I was abused.

Who is telling you you were "abused," PP?

Do you think it is funny to just drop that word in to this dialogue?

What country did you grow up in, OP?

Curious because many of my friends/relatives who grew up in poor countries, and who grew up knowing hunger, actually tend to err on the side of forcing their kids to eat TONS from an early age and fret about them being too thin. They do anything to cajole and bribe their kids (who I personally feel could afford to miss a meal, because I am similar to you, OP) to eat-- and not things like broccoli, but things like chicken nuggets.

When I grew up, a whole birthday cake was like the size of a pound cake. The family and friends cut thin slices and that was your piece. You got a taste and that was enough. The rest of the party food was nuts and raisins. Maybe ice cream. One bottle of soda to share among 15 people. If you got thirsty, you drank water. When you left the party, you weren't stuffed, but you were happy to be around friends listening to music and so on. I saw nothing wrong with that, now I am being told I was abused.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Control a weight percentile?

How weird and scary.

Exactly what I thought! That sounds very abnormal. I hope this post is made up.

All I meant is that I listen in at the feds office, and I expect them to all stay above in height, with a lower number in weight. That is, thin, yes thin. I want my kids to be thin. It is not a crime. They do not need to snack all day. Even the healthy snacking is a dangerous habit. Allow the body to be little bit hungry every now and then. I am sure that my kids know nothing about real hunger. I bet most kids in the US know nothing about real hunger. Even the chubby kids in WV that we bring lunches to in the summer.

Of course it is not a crime to want your kids to be thin, yes thin. Anybody can legally want anything. However, it is not a good sign, in my opinion, that you want your kids to be thin-yes thin, rather than, for example, healthy.

Also, if you want to understand how there can be people who are overweight and also experience hunger, please read up on "food insecurity". Food insecurity is a household-level economic and social condition of limited or uncertain access to adequate food. Hunger is an individual-level physiological condition that may result from food insecurity. You could start here: http://www.ers.usda.gov/topics/food-nutrition-assistance/food-security-in-the-us/definitions-of-food-security.aspx

I am thin, and my kids are healthy. They play sports and they do so very well.
No one has explained why the people like myself and the war survivors that I know, who were food "deprived" as kids are not obese now. Now one. I know tons of holocaust survivors in my family. They saw starvation as kids. I know others from my country who are my age who did not get fed the quality of food we see, and they are not fat. I guess they aren't food insecure.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Control a weight percentile?

How weird and scary.

Exactly what I thought! That sounds very abnormal. I hope this post is made up.

All I meant is that I listen in at the feds office, and I expect them to all stay above in height, with a lower number in weight. That is, thin, yes thin. I want my kids to be thin. It is not a crime. They do not need to snack all day. Even the healthy snacking is a dangerous habit. Allow the body to be little bit hungry every now and then. I am sure that my kids know nothing about real hunger. I bet most kids in the US know nothing about real hunger. Even the chubby kids in WV that we bring lunches to in the summer.

Of course it is not a crime to want your kids to be thin, yes thin. Anybody can legally want anything. However, it is not a good sign, in my opinion, that you want your kids to be thin-yes thin, rather than, for example, healthy.

Also, if you want to understand how there can be people who are overweight and also experience hunger, please read up on "food insecurity". Food insecurity is a household-level economic and social condition of limited or uncertain access to adequate food. Hunger is an individual-level physiological condition that may result from food insecurity. You could start here: http://www.ers.usda.gov/topics/food-nutrition-assistance/food-security-in-the-us/definitions-of-food-security.aspx

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Control a weight percentile?

How weird and scary.

Exactly what I thought! That sounds very abnormal. I hope this post is made up.

All I meant is that I listen in at the feds office, and I expect them to all stay above in height, with a lower number in weight. That is, thin, yes thin. I want my kids to be thin. It is not a crime. They do not need to snack all day. Even the healthy snacking is a dangerous habit. Allow the body to be little bit hungry every now and then. I am sure that my kids know nothing about real hunger. I bet most kids in the US know nothing about real hunger. Even the chubby kids in WV that we bring lunches to in the summer.

You are going off the deep end, OP. Chubby West Virginians?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Control a weight percentile?

How weird and scary.

Exactly what I thought! That sounds very abnormal. I hope this post is made up.

All I meant is that I listen in at the feds office, and I expect them to all stay above in height, with a lower number in weight. That is, thin, yes thin. I want my kids to be thin. It is not a crime. They do not need to snack all day. Even the healthy snacking is a dangerous habit. Allow the body to be little bit hungry every now and then. I am sure that my kids know nothing about real hunger. I bet most kids in the US know nothing about real hunger. Even the chubby kids in WV that we bring lunches to in the summer.

Newsflash: they will be what their metabolism leads them to be. And you're not doing them any favour on that regard.

Also, as soon as they'll be out of your clutches, they'll eat like there's no tomorrow because, thanks to your screwed up parenting, they never learned to self regulate.