Anonymous
07/07/2015 11:21
Subject: I hate being married and a mom
I try to be positive and give constructive feedback on DCUM so OP I am going to say you sound like you have PPD and you need to seek medical help asap.
But I have to add: if you don't have PPD, you are blaming way too much on your situation and need to get out of the victim mentality. I don't think everyone can pull themselves by the boot straps but you are fine: you, your kid and your DH are healthy, you are not bankrupt, your Dh is a kind man. wow, yeah you can't live only for yourself because you chose to have a child. You knew that OP, now you have responsabilities toward this child, you owe your DC to make every efforts in the world to be a happy mother (which in your case obviously mean going back to work presto) and you need to make damn sure that you don't let your DC see how much you resent the fact that you need to take care of him.
I kind of hope you are 19 years old because imagining someone older writing this post is depressing
But I have to add: if you don't have PPD, you are blaming way too much on your situation and need to get out of the victim mentality. I don't think everyone can pull themselves by the boot straps but you are fine: you, your kid and your DH are healthy, you are not bankrupt, your Dh is a kind man. wow, yeah you can't live only for yourself because you chose to have a child. You knew that OP, now you have responsabilities toward this child, you owe your DC to make every efforts in the world to be a happy mother (which in your case obviously mean going back to work presto) and you need to make damn sure that you don't let your DC see how much you resent the fact that you need to take care of him.
I kind of hope you are 19 years old because imagining someone older writing this post is depressing
Anonymous
07/06/2015 16:35
Subject: I hate being married and a mom
You complainers sound like selfish, self-centered brats. Grow up. What did you think it was going to be like? Try being grateful. All the people in the world who wished they could get pregnant and have kids. It's so sickening to hear you complain.
Anonymous
07/06/2015 15:27
Subject: Re:I hate being married and a mom
If you don't like your husband, get a divorce and/or have an affair or two.
Anonymous
07/06/2015 15:25
Subject: Re:I hate being married and a mom
I'd never heard the phrase "authentic self" until this thread. What a load of garbage. No wonder so many people are dissatisfied with their lot in life.
OP, I don't think what you're feeling is abnormal at this point. If you're still feeling like this a year from now then perhaps changes need to be made. But for now don't do anything rash.
OP, I don't think what you're feeling is abnormal at this point. If you're still feeling like this a year from now then perhaps changes need to be made. But for now don't do anything rash.
Anonymous
07/06/2015 15:02
Subject: Re:I hate being married and a mom
Oh, please OP. You are a victim and you are choosing to blame your husband and will at some point blame that baby for everything wrong with your life. It is incredibly sad and you'd massively benefit from therapy but considering that you see nothing wrong from yourself and are such a victim of circumstance, you will resist this. You will also probably end up getting divorced, deal with single parenting, and working as a WOHM. That is when you are going to start to turn against that cute baby. I know because I was that baby, OP.
I hope you get help, look inside and take ownership of the life you have chosen or own the choice to walk away from it toward the life you want.
I hope you get help, look inside and take ownership of the life you have chosen or own the choice to walk away from it toward the life you want.
Anonymous
07/05/2015 08:45
Subject: I hate being married and a mom
Do not let husband talk you into a second kid. Maybe you are meant to be an amazing mom on ONE. I know I am. Two would hAve destroyed our marriage. Mine is now two and I do have more time for my personal interests. I run/yoga multiple times a week,Joined a book group and go out with friends once a week too. DH and I are able to travel a lot with one kid only including internationally and that is truly the one passion we share so it's important. Keep looking a job and focus on the positives of your family of three.
Anonymous
07/04/2015 23:29
Subject: I hate being married and a mom
Damn, 39, single, childless, and feeling pretty bad about that. Grass is always greener. I guess there are some upsides to my situation.
Anonymous
07/04/2015 23:15
Subject: I hate being married and a mom
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I feel bad even typing the subject bc I love my little baby to bits. But I hate being married. I like my DH ok- he's a fun person but if I had a do over I wouldn't marry him. We are so incompatible. I hate all the trade offs and compromises I have to make in marriage. I love my little baby so much and have a hard time with motherhood. I miss sleeping in and keeping whatever schedule I want. People say live authentically - I don't know what my authentic self even looks like...is the authentic me a person who abandons her husband and child just so she can sleep in on the weekends and plan month-long yoga retreats? The irony is that before I was married, I would pray to meet someone and get married. Now I realize how dumb it was to want that so bad. I miss living in the city, keeping all my money, having my time to myself. Now I'm a SAHM living so far from my authentic self, and I don't know how to find my way back. Single gals, embrace it! I miss it.
Did I write this?
I totally agree with you. I am stopping at one child and if I ever get divorced, I will not remarry. If you are an attractive, financially independent woman, there is literally no reason to invite drama into your life by giving a man a legal hold on you. Penis is free. Also, I love my baby, but if I could redo motherhood, I would not. Childbearing takes a far greater toll on women. There are a lot of wives/mothers who feel the way we do. I wish someone had been honest with me before I got married and had a child.
Fake it for 18 years. You can do it PP. Trust me, you'll still have plenty of youth to live once you send your kid on his way. Suck it up and pretend to be the mother your kid deserves.
Anonymous
07/04/2015 21:46
Subject: I hate being married and a mom
PP here. Yes I do get weekends away but it is like coming back to prison after that Just makes it harder
I don't know, maybe I need to take some pills
Just makes it harder
I don't know, maybe I need to take some pills
Anonymous
07/04/2015 21:42
Subject: I hate being married and a mom
new poster here
I could write your post almost word for word. Except I don't even like my husband OK enough
For me it doesn't get better. the kid is now 5 and he always, always around (except when I am at work and he is in preschool). He always wants something, or needs something, I need to think about feeding him, taking him out, making him do this or that from brushing his teeth to washing his hands and what not.
I just want to be alone!!!!!!!!
I could write your post almost word for word. Except I don't even like my husband OK enough
For me it doesn't get better. the kid is now 5 and he always, always around (except when I am at work and he is in preschool). He always wants something, or needs something, I need to think about feeding him, taking him out, making him do this or that from brushing his teeth to washing his hands and what not.
I just want to be alone!!!!!!!!
Anonymous
07/04/2015 12:34
Subject: I hate being married and a mom
I have two kids and feel pretty similar. I keep waiting for it to pass, but it doesn't. I still have hope that the youngest is five it will get easier (I have another 2.5 years). My husband is very selfish with his time and I feel like I am constantly fighting with him out of resnentment. For example, he gets to shower and get ready for an hour uninterrupted. I get asked after twenty minutes how much longer I am going to be. I want to just leave. I work outside the home. It's not a sah thing.
Anonymous
07/04/2015 12:26
Subject: I hate being married and a mom
Too late. Suck it up.
Anonymous
07/04/2015 10:04
Subject: I hate being married and a mom
Just leave. Seriously. Having had a mother like you, it was the cruelest thing being raised by someone who didn't want to be there. Your kid WILL realize this and will cut you off as an adult if they are lucky enough to grow up unscarred and healthy (thanks dad).
Anonymous
07/04/2015 08:33
Subject: Re:I hate being married and a mom
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:http://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums/parenting-forums-326/dear-mother-only-one-child-187689/
Don't believe whoever wrote this. What is she going to say? That being a mother of so many children absolutely stinks and she hasn't been able to so much as shit in peace without a kid underfoot? That if she had a time machine, there is a lot she would change, starting with the third kid on? There is no room for mothers to be so honest without backlash. So, we glorify simplistic propaganda like that disseminated in the article.
Look, she had 9 kids. You can call it propaganda, but clearly it was her choice.
What I thought was interesting about her story was that she still remembers how damn hard the first child was, how lonely it was, how confusing and frustrating. I don't think she's glorifying anything. I do think that as children get older, a mother's job gets to be more fun. I work full time and have had a rough road with our two children and adapting to mother hood. When I read this article, I found her story consoling and it helped me get through our youngest's endless nights.
Anonymous
07/04/2015 01:09
Subject: Re:I hate being married and a mom
Anonymous wrote:http://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums/parenting-forums-326/dear-mother-only-one-child-187689/
Don't believe whoever wrote this. What is she going to say? That being a mother of so many children absolutely stinks and she hasn't been able to so much as shit in peace without a kid underfoot? That if she had a time machine, there is a lot she would change, starting with the third kid on? There is no room for mothers to be so honest without backlash. So, we glorify simplistic propaganda like that disseminated in the article.