Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIL lives a 45 minute drive away. We see her for Thanksgiving, Christmas, her birthday, and Easter. My husband is welcome to plan more time to see her, but does not. Every once in a while he will announce that "we" need to see his mom more often. I smile and say, "we sure do!" And then I do nothing. We see her when I make the plans to see her.

My family lives in the same zip code. We see them a few times per month for dinner.

Won't it be just wonderful if you get a daughter-in-law just like you some day.

Guess PP’s MIL should have raised a son that would be capable of scheduling visits as an adult.

My parents are in town half the year. I see them probably 3-4x a week. I'm pregnant with two kids and they make us dinner often when my husband travels. I love grocery shopping with my mom and running errands. They babysit every single Saturday night. Dh sees them less often, but he likes them a lot and says he could put up with anything if they keep babysitting once a week. They also babysit during emergencies on weeknights when dh is gone, but that's rarer. We fly my mom in during my nannys weeks off or in case of major illness. We owe them big time. We only fly to see them once a year.

Inlaws are in the next state away. They don't ever visit us but we go visit them on too long of trips every 6 weeks. The long trips really have me going insane, dh mad at me and the kids bored out of their minds. I am working on limiting it to 2 nights. I would love for them to visit us.

Well, my in-laws like to visit every Sunday, even when my husband is OUT. It annoys me that I can't even control these visits. They usually don't even call. We're married for almost 17 years. When we bought the house, they were here on DAY 1, that I didn't even have a chance to really enjoy the house we bought. I had to return to work after getting to a new house for an hour, and when I got home in the evening they were already here. They continued to come every day to enjoy our new house. I didn't even have a chance to look at every corner. It was annoying. Now, these visits after seventeen years come to happen every Sunday when my husband has to work. I feel like a kid in my own home. They don't stay long, maybe an hour or so. But it feels like a check up to me. My own mom doesn't even visit every week. Last time I was her was a few weeks ago.

It really depends. I've been living 2 miles from my parents for about 20 years. When we were child free and they were still working we could go a month without seeing each other. When I had little kids, there was a time when they were watching the kids and it was daily (and didn't do anything outside of daycare and holidays). Now my kids seem to always have something and my parents ask to attend swim meets! (I don't want to be there, don't know why they want to come!).

It's a mix of planned and unplanned. But, my parent's social life is more robust than mine with all there clubs and volunteering - so they usually reach out to me when they have free time.

IL's are 15 mins away. We see them 2-3 times a month, for 3-4 hours, always planned.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIL lives a 45 minute drive away. We see her for Thanksgiving, Christmas, her birthday, and Easter. My husband is welcome to plan more time to see her, but does not. Every once in a while he will announce that "we" need to see his mom more often. I smile and say, "we sure do!" And then I do nothing. We see her when I make the plans to see her.

My family lives in the same zip code. We see them a few times per month for dinner.

Won't it be just wonderful if you get a daughter-in-law just like you some day.

You must be one of those backwards bitches who thinks it is your daughter in law's job to manage you simply because she is a woman. It is your child's responsibility to maintain a relationship with you. So, in PP's post, her husband is the one who is dropping the ball with his mother. If I were PP, I would not even make holiday plans with MIL if he did not.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom is local. 20 minutes. Kids see her for an overnight every Friday for the last 5 years with no end in sight. She is over about twice a month or we are over to her once a month. Talk 2-3 times a week. MIL is in a home and far away so see her about 4x a year.

This is very nice.

I'm going to see if my mom is interested in this when we move back!

This has been win win for everyone. We get a date night, kids and grandma get a fantastic relationship. They are growing a small garden together, learning to cook, try new local restaurants, explore the local parks. I had a similar close relationship with my grandma and my mom and I joke that we are continuing the tradition.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom is local. 20 minutes. Kids see her for an overnight every Friday for the last 5 years with no end in sight. She is over about twice a month or we are over to her once a month. Talk 2-3 times a week. MIL is in a home and far away so see her about 4x a year.

This is very nice.

I'm going to see if my mom is interested in this when we move back!

Anonymous wrote:My mom is local. 20 minutes. Kids see her for an overnight every Friday for the last 5 years with no end in sight. She is over about twice a month or we are over to her once a month. Talk 2-3 times a week. MIL is in a home and far away so see her about 4x a year.

This is very nice.

When my mom was 30 minutes away we dropped off my son for 2 hours on Tuesdays and Thursdays or she would come for a walk with him. She watched him for a few hours on Saturdays and we generally did Sunday dinner at their house. (This was when he was an infant) we'll be moving back and expect to resume something similar. Since she works from home (no commute)
My in laws are 10 minutes away. We see them every 4-6 weeks for a 2 hour dinner and occasionally they have our son over for about the same time.

My mom is local. 20 minutes. Kids see her for an overnight every Friday for the last 5 years with no end in sight. She is over about twice a month or we are over to her once a month. Talk 2-3 times a week. MIL is in a home and far away so see her about 4x a year.

We have an 18 month old and MIL is 45 min away. She wants to do every week, which can be a lot depending on our schedules. We find evenings have worked best since we don't get home from work until 5 & our son goes to sleep around 7:30 it's a perfect time window.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In-laws live 10 minutes away and they are both retired in their late sixties. They constantly complain they do not see the grandkids enough (ages 4, 4, 7). I let them know they are welcome to plan anything any time. They never do. With three kids and a full-time job, I do not plan on being their cruise director. So, we see them when DH plans something - around 6 times a year.

why not just invite them to come over and hang out? what needs to be planned?

That would be great except the in-laws expect something planned. They do not "hang-out". And they eat out almost every meal so my "less than fancy" dinners are looked down upon. Oh well.

They live half an hour away. Maybe once a month we have dinner together, sometimes every two months. They don't want more than that, they have very busy lives.

Anonymous wrote:In-laws live 10 minutes away and they are both retired in their late sixties. They constantly complain they do not see the grandkids enough (ages 4, 4, 7). I let them know they are welcome to plan anything any time. They never do. With three kids and a full-time job, I do not plan on being their cruise director. So, we see them when DH plans something - around 6 times a year.

why not just invite them to come over and hang out? what needs to be planned?