Anonymous wrote:PP is wrong, 26 is wayyy too early to be "finding a husband and starting a family" as your sole goal. If you find the dude of your dreams, great, but you've gotta have fun living in the meantime.

Not to mention that frequent one-night stands are usually the best way to find a life partner (worked for me! my DW and I talked our way out of getting arrested for public indecency on our first date... ah, memories), since it establishes sexual compatibility off the bat and you can focus on everything else without any this-person-is-a-b-plus-match-for-me-but-I-also-want-to-get-laid shenanigans. If you're regularly getting laid from an exciting variety of sources, the only person you'll give that up for is someone truly amazing. From watching my friends who settled for partners who were a B-plus match for them over the years, it really is a living hell, and not something you want for yourself.

OP here. Don't worry, I'm not agreeing with the other posters about looking for marriage at 26. I am not ready for any of that and most 26 year olds aren't either. I guess maybe those who wrote that have settled or are in a 1950's state of mind. That may work for them, but it doesn't work for me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nonsense. A lady does not kiss and tell. Having more partners may help boost low self esteem.

Unless I missed something and this is 1957, everyone kisses and tells -- and that's okay, because otherwise we'd be pretty fucking boring at parties.

I'm just saying DH does not really know how many partners I have had, for his own sake. He just knows I like sex with him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are honest and tell them, don't be surprised when you learn that a lot of men don't like it. That's not who they want to marry.

What you should be thinking about at 26 is finding a husband and starting a family, not "dating around".

+1

+2

Anonymous wrote:Nonsense. A lady does not kiss and tell. Having more partners may help boost low self esteem.

Unless I missed something and this is 1957, everyone kisses and tells -- and that's okay, because otherwise we'd be pretty fucking boring at parties.

PP is wrong, 26 is wayyy too early to be "finding a husband and starting a family" as your sole goal. If you find the dude of your dreams, great, but you've gotta have fun living in the meantime.

Not to mention that frequent one-night stands are usually the best way to find a life partner (worked for me! my DW and I talked our way out of getting arrested for public indecency on our first date... ah, memories), since it establishes sexual compatibility off the bat and you can focus on everything else without any this-person-is-a-b-plus-match-for-me-but-I-also-want-to-get-laid shenanigans. If you're regularly getting laid from an exciting variety of sources, the only person you'll give that up for is someone truly amazing. From watching my friends who settled for partners who were a B-plus match for them over the years, it really is a living hell, and not something you want for yourself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't have to tell anyone, but if a man asked me, I would not care to date or marry him, anyway. Many men are afraid of women who enjoy sex. Perhaps your experiences will not be enjoyable!

Women who casually trade sex for male attention as op is planning, due to low self esteem, make bad life partners. That's why a future potential husband would be concerned.

Nonsense. A lady does not kiss and tell. Having more partners may help boost low self esteem.

Anonymous wrote:If you are honest and tell them, don't be surprised when you learn that a lot of men don't like it. That's not who they want to marry.

What you should be thinking about at 26 is finding a husband and starting a family, not "dating around".

+1

Anonymous wrote:Thanks. I definitely plan on being safe. What is the way to pick up attractive 20 - 30 something's in DC? Bars, a site..? I'm more into a casual fling that a ONS.

I had a friend who had sort of a fling with a guy who turned out to be married. That's what I'm trying to avoid. I guess I just want a normal guy who can get rough and kinky and good in bed.

Bars are perfect for ONS selections. Preferably a bar where there is dancing (I find DC doesnt have that many cool clubs, at least compared to other major cities, so bars with a dance floor have been my best bet), so you can get some kind of idea of how they will move in the bedroom.

Honestly, when it comes to a good ONS, the most important thing is purely physical.

From how you've described youreself, you can probably go up to the hottest, most ripped dude in there and take him home. Do it! I've done it before. It's FUN and super hot when you're hooking up with a dude who's physically an Adonis.

The great thing about a ONS is it doesnt matter if theyre dumb as a box of rocks. I had an ongoing ONS who was a doppelganger for Chris Evans, but way more ripped. He was a complete idiot, kind of trailer park-y. Found out after a couple hookups he had a kid. But did I ever have to deal with or meet the child? Nope. I would get what I came for and literally say, "sorry, I have an early morning meeting, do you mind heading home?" or "hey, i gotta go, my roommate just texted me." And he was GREAT in bed.

Just find someone you're sexually compatible with.

Most important thing is safety. At the bar, you want to talk a littl ebit, enough to get a vibe for who he is. preferably go out and meet guys with a like minded friend, and make a point to tell the friend you're going home with him when you leave. Get his address and text someone it beforehand, or tell someone he's coming over. Use your female intuition with whether he's a good guy or not.

Once those bases are covered, HAVE FUN! Nothing like having a really hot dude give you great sex with no expectation of having to make conversation with him, pretend to like football with him, have to deal with jealous texts from him, not be able to talk to other guys, etc. It's a great option.

Anonymous wrote:You don't have to tell anyone, but if a man asked me, I would not care to date or marry him, anyway. Many men are afraid of women who enjoy sex. Perhaps your experiences will not be enjoyable!

Yep! It intimidates them! They worry about measuring up...

As much as men love to bluster on about loving sex, I think women love it much more. We just have to hide it because when men find out they are usually SCANDALIZED. Women fantasizing about threesomes? OMG, say it aint' so! All women are virginal flowers who hate sex, right?!

Anonymous wrote:You don't have to tell anyone, but if a man asked me, I would not care to date or marry him, anyway. Many men are afraid of women who enjoy sex. Perhaps your experiences will not be enjoyable!

Women who casually trade sex for male attention as op is planning, due to low self esteem, make bad life partners. That's why a future potential husband would be concerned.

Anonymous wrote:You don't have to tell anyone, but if a man asked me, I would not care to date or marry him, anyway. Many men are afraid of women who enjoy sex. Perhaps your experiences will not be enjoyable!

Why would a man hate a woman who loves sex? Would he benefit the most from it?

You don't have to tell anyone, but if a man asked me, I would not care to date or marry him, anyway. Many men are afraid of women who enjoy sex. Perhaps your experiences will not be enjoyable!

Anonymous wrote:Op: At age 26 if you are at all attractive you shouldn't have any priblems finding numerous men for casual sex. So what is the real issue with you? It can't just be shyness. Do you have an unattractive face or attitilude?

No. I said in my post that I just came here and wasn't looking for casual fun back home. I broke up with my bf a week before I came here for the summer. Back home I got hit on but I was in a relationship. I've only been in DC since this weekend and spent the time having to work or unpacking. I met a guy at the guy last night, too! I'm going to see where it goes with that because I don't want to sleep with more than one guy at a time. There isn't anything wrong physically, it's always been mental. Shyness, low self-worth, trust issues, pain from the abuse, etc., but I'm working on all of those now.

The kind of guy who would judge you for ONS will be so sexually repressed that you will experience nothing new sexually with him. If you'd like that experience, have your ONS and be glad you'll have a litmus test to weed out guys who are bad in bed.

Op: At age 26 if you are at all attractive you shouldn't have any priblems finding numerous men for casual sex. So what is the real issue with you? It can't just be shyness. Do you have an unattractive face or attitilude?