I think it's ok, although a gift card would be better IMO and also, amazon prime can get you something easily in case you ever change your mind but don't want to do the Target thing again.

I do sort of agree that ideally, this should be a little bit about teaching your DS about how to select a gift for a friend, but that is in a perfect world.

Just want to step back a minute and point out how many, many threads on DCUM are about DHs who don't know how to give gifts or anticipate their DW's wants re a gift, and how they get really upset over this. Pages and pages of threads, every Valentine's Day and Christmas and Mother's Day, and also birthdays and anniversaries. Well, I tend to think that this may be the genesis of that.

And whatever, we all have busy lives. I'm sort of lamenting, though, that our lives are so busy that going through the process of thinking about a gift for a kid and pressing a button on amazon is too much work. And I get it, it often IS too much effort.

Anonymous wrote:Yes staring at 8 we began with gift cards from a place my child says his friend likes with a homemade card.

Good ideas!! One thing I do is to have my kids pick out gifts for teachers, relatives,etc.... Those they have to pick out. But for classmate parties, the above idea works.... Often we even do store bought card-- they do have to pick card and sign.

I think it is completely fine to give a gift card. I actually gave one to my niece for her 9th birthday. She has everything under sun thanks to wealthy parents and even wealthier grandparents. Rather than shell out cash for something she will likely never use/read/play with, I sent a $20 gift card to pick out her own gift. I'd asked her mother for gift suggestions, but they were out of my range.

Anonymous wrote:I think it's fine too. If you didn't want to do cash, you could do a gift card.

Amazon brings all this stuff to our house.

+1

Anonymous wrote:Yes staring at 8 we began with gift cards from a place my child says his friend likes with a homemade card.

This is what we do too. My daughter makes a homemade card, designed and printed on the computer, then we tape a 20 to the inside. Done. It's personalized, but I don't have to run around getting a gift card (added fees), or a paper card (waste of money).

It may be tacky, but that's what going on at the Powers' house.

Anonymous wrote:Well first, 20-25 seems high for a classmate. Second , don't wrap, use gift bags.

But if you don't want to get a gift, how about a gift card to an ice cream shop or the movies.

+1. We do $15.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not give cash. If you gave us cash, it would go to the college fund. My kid has no reason to have cash.

I would do a $15 gift card and a generic birthday card. We do generic birthday cards (just get a pack) and generic wrapping paper (cheaper than a bad in less you are recycling one).

You really do this with a kids bday money from friends???

Please tell your kids to casually let all his friends know the next time he has a party so they can pass that tidbit to their parents. If I am giving a kid a token $20 for a birthday gift I want it to specifically go for something fun of the kid's choosing.

Of course I do. It is a gift and you should not dictate what is done with a gift. My kid chooses plenty and constantly gets stuff. I am more concerned about his future and being debt free. My son knows better than to ask for gifts and demand what he gets. That is tacky.

That is unfortunate.

I doubt any of your kids friends or acquaintances want to contribute to your kid's college fund.

I hope your kid starts complaining about this to his friends so their parents have the option to give him something else instead.

DD has to use her own sending money for some things. She was love $20 in cash!!
As a parent I don't judge. I just want DDs friends to celebrate her day with her. I understand some parents are just barely holding life together by threads - just come a be DD friends....

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not give cash. If you gave us cash, it would go to the college fund. My kid has no reason to have cash.

I would do a $15 gift card and a generic birthday card. We do generic birthday cards (just get a pack) and generic wrapping paper (cheaper than a bad in less you are recycling one).

Cash automatically goes to the college fund, even from a friend for his birthday?

Is there nothing your dc would like to buy for themselves or are they not allowed to?

Everything goes in the college funds. If it is a small amount we usually double or triple it. My kids get plenty and then some. They know college is an expectation and their money gets saved as well as ours. My parents did that for us and taught us to be responsible with money. They paid for everything we needed through grad school.

So they aren't allowed to spend money given as a gift. Interesting.

My BIL/SIL did this. The entire family started giving gift cards. If we wanted to donate to college, we would do so specifically. A birthday or Christmas gift is exactly that.

OP, given this perhaps a gift card is the way to go.