I'm a single mom with an adult daughter and her husband. They're newly married and together they make more than I do.

We have to travel a few states to see one another. So who pays when?

When they were here last, I paid for all restaurants and food at home. When I visited them last, they paid for the first restaurant and all food at home, and I paid for the other restaurants.

Since this is new to all of us, we're still trying to determine what's fair and reasonable. Any ideas? Thanks

We struggle financially and my parents always pay. Same when we go out with my ILs. If we had the money to spare we definitely would pay though and we do make it a point to invite them to dinner specifically from time to time when we can - if we invite them they know we will pay. If they invite us we know they will pay.

My parents are significantly better off that we are, they usually pay.
My MIL is not so well off and living on limited means, so we pay for her.

When we go out, it depends. My parents still usually pay, but they are both better off financially then we are, and they just assume they will. If we're taking them out for their birthdays or mother/fathers day, we pay of course.

I'm more likely to offer to pay when with my mom than my dad (divorced) because my dad has more money than he knows what to do with. Plus my mother is more prone to buying us random useful things, whereas my dad just doesn't think like that. She is all even outs.

I appreciate them both deeply and would never insist or ask that they pay for anything. It's incredibly kind and generous of them to continue to pick up checks, I know that.

In my 20s, my parents paid.
In my 30s, we went Dutch.
In my 40s, I pay for them.