Yep and Mildred and Richard Loving should never have gotten married to begin with because they could have chosen to fall in love with different people.Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I'm confused by this thread. It's seems contrary to the message we've been getting from the gay community for years. Namely that being gay is not a choice, a person is born gay or not, and external factors cannot influence gayness or "turn someone gay".
That doesn't seem to be true though in light of this discussion.
Of course it's not true, and it never was true. It's all part of the gay agenda to force the culture down our throats and make us all accepting of it. Now they are just getting caught by trying to have it both ways.
Uh, what is not a choice is the person to whom you are attracted to at any given moment.Anonymous wrote:I'm confused by this thread. It's seems contrary to the message we've been getting from the gay community for years. Namely that being gay is not a choice, a person is born gay or not, and external factors cannot influence gayness or "turn someone gay".
That doesn't seem to be true though in light of this discussion.
Exactly. I've posted this elsewhere so I'm sure some pps have seen this but my kid told us she was straight for years and then she decided she was gay, then bi, then gay, then bi. Meaning that when she told us she was a lesbian she was sure she had no interest in boys but then she would meet a boy that she wanted to date so she would reconsider. But then when she met her last girlfriend (they were together for a long time and talking marriage), she was sure for awhile that she was a lesbian. The latest she has told me is that she prefers girls but the occasional boy is attractive. And right now she's seriously dating a boy.Anonymous wrote:My family was open and wouldn't have minded if my sister was lesbian or straight. She kept telling us in hs that she was a lesbian, but now in her 20's she's living with her boyfriend. Maybe that means she's bi. I'm not sure. I guess you just go with what the person tells you until told otherwise.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Our 15 yr DD recently came out as gay. We fully support her in whoever she is and chooses, however, I'm not sure if it's "real" or just a byproduct of going to a small, liberal, arts school where everyone seems to be bi, gay, transgender, pan, a, etc. We are very close, and I just never had the impression she was gay. However, with my sister for example, I suspected from a young age that she was. Curious if anyone has been through this and their child ended up hetero afterall?
It's real for now, that's what matters, not a hypothetical future. I wouldn't worry about it, just deal with new facts if they emerge.
Sorry, but you can't have it both ways. Whatever happened to, "they were born this way," "who would choose to be gay," "they can't choose being gay any more than you can choose being straight," blah blah blah.
OP, sounds like your DD needs some real parental guidance. There is no way I'd let my 15 year old get mixed up with this.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Our 15 yr DD recently came out as gay. We fully support her in whoever she is and chooses, however, I'm not sure if it's "real" or just a byproduct of going to a small, liberal, arts school where everyone seems to be bi, gay, transgender, pan, a, etc. We are very close, and I just never had the impression she was gay. However, with my sister for example, I suspected from a young age that she was. Curious if anyone has been through this and their child ended up hetero afterall?
You're probably going to get some mean responses so I'm glad I'm the first to weigh in. My SD could have gone to the same school as yours. Exact same scenario (except she came out as bi). Agreed that it makes no difference to me or her parents what her sexual orientation is. But I've known her since she was 11 (just starting to like boys, had crushes, asked me about boys ALL the time). In 9th grade she started at her new school where all her friends (and I do mean all) were either gay, bi, gender-fluid or pan sexual. Within a few weeks of hanging out with them she came out as bisexual.
She's mostly had boyfriends, a few girlfriends who seemed more like buddies to me than girlfriends (though it could just be that those girls were less physically affectionate in public with her than her boyfriends were). Anyway I know her pretty well and think she just really wanted to fit in and have a "tribe" in high school (she was bullied and didn't have a lot of friends in middle school). Again, either way it doesn't matter but I think when she goes off to college or after she graduates or whenever she ends up finding a life partner, it'll be a straight relationship.
OP here. This is our situation completely! I've heard her talk about boys for so long, this statement from her really through me for a loop. I wonder if it is the same school. Thanks for sharing your experience. We'll just continue to support her and see what happens.
You're probably going to get some mean responses so I'm glad I'm the first to weigh in. My SD could have gone to the same school as yours. Exact same scenario (except she came out as bi). Agreed that it makes no difference to me or her parents what her sexual orientation is. But I've known her since she was 11 (just starting to like boys, had crushes, asked me about boys ALL the time). In 9th grade she started at her new school where all her friends (and I do mean all) were either gay, bi, gender-fluid or pan sexual. Within a few weeks of hanging out with them she came out as bisexual.
She's mostly had boyfriends, a few girlfriends who seemed more like buddies to me than girlfriends (though it could just be that those girls were less physically affectionate in public with her than her boyfriends were). Anyway I know her pretty well and think she just really wanted to fit in and have a "tribe" in high school (she was bullied and didn't have a lot of friends in middle school). Again, either way it doesn't matter but I think when she goes off to college or after she graduates or whenever she ends up finding a life partner, it'll be a straight relationship.
OP here. This is our situation completely! I've heard her talk about boys for so long, this statement from her really through me for a loop. I wonder if it is the same school. Thanks for sharing your experience. We'll just continue to support her and see what happens.
Anonymous wrote:Sorry, but you can't have it both ways. Whatever happened to, "they were born this way," "who would choose to be gay," "they can't choose being gay any more than you can choose being straight," blah blah blah.
OP, sounds like your DD needs some real parental guidance. There is no way I'd let my 15 year old get mixed up with this.
What? The point is people are born oriented the way they are. Some people are gay, and totally gay. Some people are straight. Some people are bisexual. For some people, sexuality is fluid, and for others it is not so much. Most people are straight, or mostly straight. But there are plenty of straight people who have some homosexual attraction, but for all intensive purposes are straight (in straight relationships, almost exclusively sleep with the opposite sex). There are plenty of people who are self-defined as bisexual, but only have relationships with one sex or the other, however have sexual desires for the other sex. Human sexuality is highly individual, and is complicated!
As far as "letting your 15 year old get mixed up in this" people are who they are. You can't control how they are wired and what they are going to seek out to fufil romantic and sexual desires as they get older.
Sorry, but you can't have it both ways. Whatever happened to, "they were born this way," "who would choose to be gay," "they can't choose being gay any more than you can choose being straight," blah blah blah.
OP, sounds like your DD needs some real parental guidance. There is no way I'd let my 15 year old get mixed up with this.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I'm confused by this thread. It's seems contrary to the message we've been getting from the gay community for years. Namely that being gay is not a choice, a person is born gay or not, and external factors cannot influence gayness or "turn someone gay".
That doesn't seem to be true though in light of this discussion.
Of course it's not true, and it never was true. It's all part of the gay agenda to force the culture down our throats and make us all accepting of it. Now they are just getting caught by trying to have it both ways.
Anonymous wrote:I'm confused by this thread. It's seems contrary to the message we've been getting from the gay community for years. Namely that being gay is not a choice, a person is born gay or not, and external factors cannot influence gayness or "turn someone gay".
That doesn't seem to be true though in light of this discussion.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Our 15 yr DD recently came out as gay. We fully support her in whoever she is and chooses, however, I'm not sure if it's "real" or just a byproduct of going to a small, liberal, arts school where everyone seems to be bi, gay, transgender, pan, a, etc. We are very close, and I just never had the impression she was gay. However, with my sister for example, I suspected from a young age that she was. Curious if anyone has been through this and their child ended up hetero afterall?
It's real for now, that's what matters, not a hypothetical future. I wouldn't worry about it, just deal with new facts if they emerge.