Anonymous
Post 05/03/2015 20:01     Subject: Kissed someone, not my DH
Anonymous wrote:Hi, this is OP. Certainly feel chastened by this thread. On one hand, it doesn't matter. But it was a peck on the lips, like a hello or goodbye kiss. I sort of shocked myself and then ran into a cab.



Thanks OP for answering, and to the PP for realizing my point about why I was asking what type of kiss this was.

One of my female friends of several years has been with a guy for several years (not married), but the times I have met up with her, with or without him present, is a peck on the lips greeting, and that is as far as it goes.
Anonymous
Post 05/03/2015 20:00     Subject: Kissed someone, not my DH
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why get dolled up if you don't want sexual attention?


Because attention feels fucking pleasurable. There's NOTHING wrong with it.
OP, you know if it was a big deal or not. Ignore the miserable wretches who never made a mistake in their whole damn lives.
Playing.with.fire. If you don't want to cheat, don't put yourself in a position where you will be tempted to cheat.
Anonymous
Post 05/03/2015 19:56     Subject: Kissed someone, not my DH
Alcohol can make us do the craziest things.

And I think that is what fueled you to do what you did.

As long as you do not tell your hubby when he returns, then I am sure there is no harm done.

What your husband doesn't know will definitely not hurt him.

In the future, if you want to avoid these types of situations, I strongly encourage you to limit your drinking to just two drinks a night.

Anonymous
Post 05/03/2015 19:53     Subject: Kissed someone, not my DH
Why'd you go on a date with someone else?
Anonymous
Post 05/03/2015 19:51     Subject: Kissed someone, not my DH
Anonymous wrote:Why get dolled up if you don't want sexual attention?


Because attention feels fucking pleasurable. There's NOTHING wrong with it.
OP, you know if it was a big deal or not. Ignore the miserable wretches who never made a mistake in their whole damn lives.
Anonymous
Post 05/03/2015 19:45     Subject: Kissed someone, not my DH
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This is why you don't get married in your twenties.


Actually, this is why you continue to have a social life after the nuptials. A 30yo woman should still dress up and go out with friends on a regular. I'm 31 but most of my friends married in their 20s. Hanging out is no big thing and neither are flirtatious men, because its a regular thing. There isn't any temptation to indulge, because its NBD.


Being with the same man since the age of 22 is not smart.
There is so much that someone who married that young will never experience.
There are so many things that you'll never be able to appreciate unless you've been on your own for a long time.
Anonymous
Post 05/03/2015 19:40     Subject: Kissed someone, not my DH
Impulse control management. Google it.
Anonymous
Post 05/03/2015 19:37     Subject: Kissed someone, not my DH
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:1. You have confirmed you are still attractive.
2. Consider this event as a warning shot, and don't just brush it under the carpet.
3. Be a grown up and keep it to yourself. Don't tell anyone else who could use this information against you somehow- make you feel guilty, burden you with their opinions, judgement, or worse, want to revisit events with you over and over, and check up on you. This will make it very difficult to put behind you. This should be very private, not for all of your friends, mother, etc.
4. Take some time to evaluate what felt good, and what felt terrible and why. Maybe you will come to know yourself and what you want more clearly from this- and find the motivation to pursue it in either direction.
5. Consider forgiving yourself.



I'm surprised how mean people have been. Although this is dcum. The PP seems to be the only one who is cleared eyed and not shaming her for getting married in her 20s or accusing her of needing to go to AA


There is a whole contingency on here that have such a knee jerk reaction to people making pretty common mistakes. Just because it offends you to the core, doesn't make it pathological. If people don't cheat on their spouse, they do other terrible things to themselves or others. Many people cheat at some point, and regret it. She didn't have sex with the guy and come here gushing about how hot it was. All of the harpies on here have told their own lies, cheated elsewhere in life, and have their own regrets. Get some humanity, Duggar fans.


In what world is kissing a man or woman who is not your spouse "pretty common"? I recognize that OP made what sounds like a (mostly innocent) mistake, but color me shocked if this is a common practice.

http://ideas.ted.com/10-facts-about-infidelity-helen-fisher/
20-40% of men
Up to 25% of women, the peak time being the 7th year of marriage.
Not exactly an aberration



7 year itch, eh? Okay.
Anonymous
Post 05/03/2015 19:36     Subject: Kissed someone, not my DH
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:1. You have confirmed you are still attractive.
2. Consider this event as a warning shot, and don't just brush it under the carpet.
3. Be a grown up and keep it to yourself. Don't tell anyone else who could use this information against you somehow- make you feel guilty, burden you with their opinions, judgement, or worse, want to revisit events with you over and over, and check up on you. This will make it very difficult to put behind you. This should be very private, not for all of your friends, mother, etc.
4. Take some time to evaluate what felt good, and what felt terrible and why. Maybe you will come to know yourself and what you want more clearly from this- and find the motivation to pursue it in either direction.
5. Consider forgiving yourself.



I'm surprised how mean people have been. Although this is dcum. The PP seems to be the only one who is cleared eyed and not shaming her for getting married in her 20s or accusing her of needing to go to AA


There is a whole contingency on here that have such a knee jerk reaction to people making pretty common mistakes. Just because it offends you to the core, doesn't make it pathological. If people don't cheat on their spouse, they do other terrible things to themselves or others. Many people cheat at some point, and regret it. She didn't have sex with the guy and come here gushing about how hot it was. All of the harpies on here have told their own lies, cheated elsewhere in life, and have their own regrets. Get some humanity, Duggar fans.


In what world is kissing a man or woman who is not your spouse "pretty common"? I recognize that OP made what sounds like a (mostly innocent) mistake, but color me shocked if this is a common practice.

http://ideas.ted.com/10-facts-about-infidelity-helen-fisher/
20-40% of men
Up to 25% of women, the peak time being the 7th year of marriage.
Not exactly an aberration

Anonymous
Post 05/03/2015 19:18     Subject: Kissed someone, not my DH
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:1. You have confirmed you are still attractive.
2. Consider this event as a warning shot, and don't just brush it under the carpet.
3. Be a grown up and keep it to yourself. Don't tell anyone else who could use this information against you somehow- make you feel guilty, burden you with their opinions, judgement, or worse, want to revisit events with you over and over, and check up on you. This will make it very difficult to put behind you. This should be very private, not for all of your friends, mother, etc.
4. Take some time to evaluate what felt good, and what felt terrible and why. Maybe you will come to know yourself and what you want more clearly from this- and find the motivation to pursue it in either direction.
5. Consider forgiving yourself.



I'm surprised how mean people have been. Although this is dcum. The PP seems to be the only one who is cleared eyed and not shaming her for getting married in her 20s or accusing her of needing to go to AA


There is a whole contingency on here that have such a knee jerk reaction to people making pretty common mistakes. Just because it offends you to the core, doesn't make it pathological. If people don't cheat on their spouse, they do other terrible things to themselves or others. Many people cheat at some point, and regret it. She didn't have sex with the guy and come here gushing about how hot it was. All of the harpies on here have told their own lies, cheated elsewhere in life, and have their own regrets. Get some humanity, Duggar fans.


In what world is kissing a man or woman who is not your spouse "pretty common"? I recognize that OP made what sounds like a (mostly innocent) mistake, but color me shocked if this is a common practice.
Anonymous
Post 05/03/2015 19:14     Subject: Kissed someone, not my DH
Anonymous wrote:Why get dolled up if you don't want sexual attention?


I dress up for myself and my husband. I was also married in my 20s and have had no issues or desires to kiss other men.
Anonymous
Post 05/03/2015 19:08     Subject: Kissed someone, not my DH
Anonymous wrote:Why get dolled up if you don't want sexual attention?


Why bother grooming at all?
Anonymous
Post 05/03/2015 19:07     Subject: Kissed someone, not my DH
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:1. You have confirmed you are still attractive.
2. Consider this event as a warning shot, and don't just brush it under the carpet.
3. Be a grown up and keep it to yourself. Don't tell anyone else who could use this information against you somehow- make you feel guilty, burden you with their opinions, judgement, or worse, want to revisit events with you over and over, and check up on you. This will make it very difficult to put behind you. This should be very private, not for all of your friends, mother, etc.
4. Take some time to evaluate what felt good, and what felt terrible and why. Maybe you will come to know yourself and what you want more clearly from this- and find the motivation to pursue it in either direction.
5. Consider forgiving yourself.



I'm surprised how mean people have been. Although this is dcum. The PP seems to be the only one who is cleared eyed and not shaming her for getting married in her 20s or accusing her of needing to go to AA


There is a whole contingency on here that have such a knee jerk reaction to people making pretty common mistakes. Just because it offends you to the core, doesn't make it pathological. If people don't cheat on their spouse, they do other terrible things to themselves or others. Many people cheat at some point, and regret it. She didn't have sex with the guy and come here gushing about how hot it was. All of the harpies on here have told their own lies, cheated elsewhere in life, and have their own regrets. Get some humanity, Duggar fans.


I think I love you.


I accept your anonymous love, with pleasure.
Anonymous
Post 05/03/2015 18:43     Subject: Kissed someone, not my DH
Why get dolled up if you don't want sexual attention?
Anonymous
Post 05/03/2015 18:29     Subject: Kissed someone, not my DH
OP, only you know if this is a big deal. Take a look inside. If the demands of the everyday gave way to you being a little too crazy with your friend, then you need to check yourself, but that feeling I think gets to a lot of people. If it's beyond that and your acting out bc yiure unhappy or mad or sad you need to get your shit sorted ASAP.