I am friendly to them but I don't have any real interest in them. I don't really like other people's children. I have about the same amount of interest in my brother's kids, though -- it's not personal.

I only have one on DH's side and would love to be as involved in her life as I am with my sister's kids, but in addition to distance she's not an easy kid for me to be close to.

I try to get to know her and I think that I'm making some progress now that she's a little older (early elementary age) especially when I have time with her apart from her parents. I want to be a loving presence in her life but boy... they sure are raising a prickly little tyrant. Nellie Olssen was like Mother Teresa's twin sister compared to this child. I have to prep myself for patience beforehand!

Honestly I have little interest in my husband's nieces and nephews, but I can't wait until my brother has a baby. I know, it sounds strange, but the interest just isn't there. I'm polite with my husbands' siblings, we haven't had issues, but we aren't friends by any means.

My spouses nieces and nephews are poorly behaved, have mental illness, or both. The mental illness I could overlook, but I can't overlook the poor behavior.

Which is really more of a statement of the parents, but I can't risk my child thinking it's ok. So we don't spend much time with them.

Anonymous wrote:

These aren't HIS nieces and nephews, they are OUR nieces and nephews.

This.

+1. I talk to our nieces on DH's side more than he does.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I consider them MY nieces and nephews too.

Me too. I had no idea others felt differently. I love my nephews, and i love my aunts and uncles by marriage.

+1.

His family/my family? No, not after the wedding. OUR family.

My DH is 13 years older than I am and all of his nieces and nephews are just a few years younger than I am (oldest is a month younger than me - youngest just started college). My best friend is actually DH's niece. My kids and her kids are 2nd cousins, but they are the closest in age. We see them the most.

Absolutely. My kids have a bunch of cousins on both sides and we both are close with all of them.

Anonymous wrote:I consider them MY nieces and nephews too.

Me too. I had no idea others felt differently. I love my nephews, and i love my aunts and uncles by marriage.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I consider them MY nieces and nephews too.

I DON"T.

That's very emphatic. Can you explain why you don't consider your spouses nieces and nephews, also yours?

A benign but distant interest, since they live in Europe and never visit. In age, I am in-between my BIL and SIL's age and their young adult children's age, so while I love them all, we don't really have much in common. Plus, they are much wealthier, which sometimes makes it awkward. We don't give them gifts, but heartfelt messages and cards, enquiries on their university studies, what they did on vacation, etc.

Anonymous wrote:I consider them MY nieces and nephews too.

I DON"T.

Growing up and even now I'm very close to most of my aunts & uncles. I'd go stay with them for extended visits, etc.

My SIL has never been that friendly so my DH is lucky to even just see his brother, let alone their kid. His previous GF was super nice so I was bummed when he finally settled on the ice queen. Bummed for my kids and for me.

My siblings aren't having kids for various reasons and don't live close so no strong bond there either.

Fortunately the grandparents are all very close and hands-on so at least we have some family.

Sometimes. It's tough to do with a couple of them though. Their mother is fairly vocal about having no interest in my kids. She would rather her two (the youngest in the family) were the only two kids.

I consider them MY nieces and nephews too.