Anonymous
04/30/2015 15:46
Subject: creative ways to word "instead of bringing a birthday gift, let's contribute to earthquake relief"
OP, I know you mean well, but this comes across as fairly sanctimonious. When we didn't want gifts at a party, we asked kids to bring a book for a book exchange and every child left with a book (bring a couple of extra in case someone forgets and the kid doesn't want to be left out).
Anonymous
04/30/2015 15:43
Subject: creative ways to word "instead of bringing a birthday gift, let's contribute to earthquake relief"
Anonymous wrote:Agree with the PP, that you might want to skip the 'we're blessed' part.
I think offering to make the donation to earthquake relief is better than just saying 'no gifts' because it provides an alternative for people who feel weird about not giving a gift.
You do not think that adults are able to come up with their own alternative?
Anonymous
04/30/2015 15:41
Subject: creative ways to word "instead of bringing a birthday gift, let's contribute to earthquake relief"
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Yes, it's rude to tell people what to give you as a gift.
Ha! BS
Tell that to all the people who register for weddings and baby showers. Are you one of those irritating people who won't buy off of someone's registry?
In that case, though, the gift giver has dozens of gifts to choose from at different price points and they can also choose to buy off the registry, which some people do. It's more like guidance rather than BUY THIS.
It doesn't sound like OP is requiring parents to donate X amount. You're welcome to donate (or not donate).
Yes, but OP will be fully aware of who donates, who doesn't, and what amount. That is uncomfortable
How would OP be fully aware of who donates? In my religious tradition, anonymous giving is considered a more respectful form of charity. So I donate, but I don't advertize it.
And in the past, I've made donations to a requested charity when the parent of a friend died, and sometimes there wasn't even an option when donating to inform the family that a donation had been made in the loved one's honor.
Anonymous
04/30/2015 15:38
Subject: creative ways to word "instead of bringing a birthday gift, let's contribute to earthquake relief"
We received an invite recently that said something along the lines of: Please, no gifts. If you would prefer to bring something, we will be collecting donations for xx.
I'm not a big fan of the idea in general, but I thought that was a decent way to ask. The organization they picked also had an Amazon wish list, so I could give a tangible thing rather than money.
I'm not a big fan of the idea in general, but I thought that was a decent way to ask. The organization they picked also had an Amazon wish list, so I could give a tangible thing rather than money.
Anonymous
04/30/2015 15:38
Subject: creative ways to word "instead of bringing a birthday gift, let's contribute to earthquake relief"
Anonymous wrote:I don't know OP, I see that your heart is in the right place but I'm not sure I would want to bring a certain amount of money, that you are fully aware of that amount, to a kids birthday party.
I can see this turning into Liam's mom donating $100 because she is really into charitable giving and her sister once lived there or something, and Aidens mom bringing $20, which is what she would spend on a gift since they're close friends of yours, and then Graham's mom is stuck because they don't really know your family but the kids are friends and she was planning to regift a little dollar store thing since they have 3 birthdays this month and Graham wants to go to all of them.
You see where I'm going with this? Don't do it.
But you wouldn't necessarily bring the money to the party, right? You could always bring a card and write in there, "Happy Birthday! In honor of your birthday, Larla made a donation to UNICEF." You wouldn't even need to include the amount.
Anonymous
04/30/2015 15:36
Subject: creative ways to word "instead of bringing a birthday gift, let's contribute to earthquake relief"
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Yes, it's rude to tell people what to give you as a gift.
Ha! BS
Tell that to all the people who register for weddings and baby showers. Are you one of those irritating people who won't buy off of someone's registry?
In that case, though, the gift giver has dozens of gifts to choose from at different price points and they can also choose to buy off the registry, which some people do. It's more like guidance rather than BUY THIS.
It doesn't sound like OP is requiring parents to donate X amount. You're welcome to donate (or not donate).
Yes, but OP will be fully aware of who donates, who doesn't, and what amount. That is uncomfortable
Anonymous
04/30/2015 15:27
Subject: creative ways to word "instead of bringing a birthday gift, let's contribute to earthquake relief"
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Yes, it's rude to tell people what to give you as a gift.
Ha! BS
Tell that to all the people who register for weddings and baby showers. Are you one of those irritating people who won't buy off of someone's registry?
In that case, though, the gift giver has dozens of gifts to choose from at different price points and they can also choose to buy off the registry, which some people do. It's more like guidance rather than BUY THIS.
It doesn't sound like OP is requiring parents to donate X amount. You're welcome to donate (or not donate).
Anonymous
04/30/2015 15:18
Subject: creative ways to word "instead of bringing a birthday gift, let's contribute to earthquake relief"
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I don't know OP, I see that your heart is in the right place but I'm not sure I would want to bring a certain amount of money, that you are fully aware of that amount, to a kids birthday party.
I can see this turning into Liam's mom donating $100 because she is really into charitable giving and her sister once lived there or something, and Aidens mom bringing $20, which is what she would spend on a gift since they're close friends of yours, and then Graham's mom is stuck because they don't really know your family but the kids are friends and she was planning to regift a little dollar store thing since they have 3 birthdays this month and Graham wants to go to all of them.
You see where I'm going with this? Don't do it.
OP here again. Wow! DCUM delivers multiple opinions. Thank you. Yes, I see where you're going. This is why I posted in the first place. Seemed like a good idea but might make people uncomfortable. Most of our friends would probably get into it, but not worth making anyone feeling bad. So, we won't do it. But maybe we'll just give in honor of our son (and all that we're grateful for) and let it be. Thanks for the many viewpoints.
I'm the poster you quoted, I'm glad it made sense, it is a hard thing to articulate. One more suggestion, if you really wanted to do something for the earthquake victims, I would just make it a separate event for the friends you mentioned would be "into it." I just wouldn't tie it into th birthday party and ask for donations for the reasons I laid out. You could even do a letter writing activity to send to an orphanage there that was affected, or something similar at the party, I can't think of anything specific now.
Good luck!
Anonymous
04/30/2015 15:12
Subject: creative ways to word "instead of bringing a birthday gift, let's contribute to earthquake relief"
If you want to donate, YOU donate. No need to suggest others do it.
Anonymous
04/30/2015 15:10
Subject: creative ways to word "instead of bringing a birthday gift, let's contribute to earthquake relief"
Anonymous wrote:Just say "no gifts, please." Your heart's in the right place, but don't try to tell people how and when to give to charity.
This. Hate when people suggest things like this.
Anonymous
04/30/2015 15:07
Subject: creative ways to word "instead of bringing a birthday gift, let's contribute to earthquake relief"
Anonymous wrote:I don't know OP, I see that your heart is in the right place but I'm not sure I would want to bring a certain amount of money, that you are fully aware of that amount, to a kids birthday party.
I can see this turning into Liam's mom donating $100 because she is really into charitable giving and her sister once lived there or something, and Aidens mom bringing $20, which is what she would spend on a gift since they're close friends of yours, and then Graham's mom is stuck because they don't really know your family but the kids are friends and she was planning to regift a little dollar store thing since they have 3 birthdays this month and Graham wants to go to all of them.
You see where I'm going with this? Don't do it.
OP here again. Wow! DCUM delivers multiple opinions. Thank you. Yes, I see where you're going. This is why I posted in the first place. Seemed like a good idea but might make people uncomfortable. Most of our friends would probably get into it, but not worth making anyone feeling bad. So, we won't do it. But maybe we'll just give in honor of our son (and all that we're grateful for) and let it be. Thanks for the many viewpoints.
Anonymous
04/30/2015 15:06
Subject: creative ways to word "instead of bringing a birthday gift, let's contribute to earthquake relief"
Just donate the toys if you do not want them. It is your child's birthday. It doesn't have to be a "teaching moment" or to show you are generous (with other people's money). Let your kid be a kid and enjoy receiving presents. That is part of the fun of a party.
Anonymous
04/30/2015 15:04
Subject: creative ways to word "instead of bringing a birthday gift, let's contribute to earthquake relief"
Anonymous wrote:The matching donation is a little creepy because it requires to the parent to let you know if, and how much, they donated.
If I choose to donate elsewhere, I don't want to feel judged because of a kid's birthday.
+1
Please don't, OP
Anonymous
04/30/2015 15:03
Subject: creative ways to word "instead of bringing a birthday gift, let's contribute to earthquake relief"
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Yes, it's rude to tell people what to give you as a gift.
Ha! BS
Tell that to all the people who register for weddings and baby showers. Are you one of those irritating people who won't buy off of someone's registry?
In that case, though, the gift giver has dozens of gifts to choose from at different price points and they can also choose to buy off the registry, which some people do. It's more like guidance rather than BUY THIS.
Anonymous
04/30/2015 15:03
Subject: creative ways to word "instead of bringing a birthday gift, let's contribute to earthquake relief"
Please don't do this. It's so obnoxious.