I've been told twice, once at the right time (after the first time we got all kissy and handsy)(but not right at that time - we weren't going to sleep together. He waited until we went out the next time and told me during dinner). And once at the wrong time (we were about to have sex and *I* asked *him* if he had any STDs... and that was when he mentioned herpes.) I still dated the 1st guy and still slept with the 2nd guy (was going to use condoms anyway with both and knew a bit about what else to watch for, although nothing is foolproof). Never had any problem myself, still STD-free decades later.

I'd say not immediately, but definitely before you do anything that could result in them catching it, and before you become exclusive. Probably in the 3-5 date realm, depending on the progression of your relationship.

As someone pointed out, it's a private matter for you, so you don't have to reveal to everyone you go on one or two dates with that you may decide you don't want to see again, anyway. However, waiting until the 'heat of the moment' or until the person is so emotionally invested that you're betting they won't walk away would be lousy of you, too, and more likely to piss them off/make them feel fooled.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I might feel bad about it, but I would run. I'd be too afraid to risk getting it.

I am right there with you.

Sorry but herpes is nasty and forever.

You may already be a carrier.

I'm a woman and I hate when people say this crap. I had a baby, tested negative so I'm not a carrier.

Actually, unless you specifically asked to be tested for herpes, you probably weren't tested for it when you were pregnant. It is not a routine part of pregnancy testing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I might feel bad about it, but I would run. I'd be too afraid to risk getting it.

I am right there with you.

Sorry but herpes is nasty and forever.

You may already be a carrier.

I'm a woman and I hate when people say this crap. I had a baby, tested negative so I'm not a carrier.

+1
The ONLY people who say that are the infected people. I forget the exact numbers (I looked it up last time someone posted this nonsense), but it's really not that many.

Don't you people do STD screens with new partners?

A normal STD screening won't include herpes. You'd have to ask for it and most dr won't test for it unless you have an outbreak. At least that's what my dr told me when I was worried about herpes before.

Count me as another who has had it for many years, married with three children and it's been no big deal. DH has never gotten it. Kids are all fine.

Oh and I had two DCs, vaginally births, total non issue.

My DH has herpes. I found out when we had been dating a few months. He had never had an outbreak and didn't even know he was infected. When I think back on how upset I was at the time, it now seems ridiculous. There is such a stigma about herpes and I guess some people do have frequent and bad outbreaks but I wonder if they are in the minority? I remember wondering if I would be able to give birth vaginally, all kinds of crazy things. Well, 10 years later and I have never been infected. We do not use condoms. My DH has maybe one outbreak a year and we are careful then but otherwise it has been a complete non issue.

Anonymous wrote:Sorry but I would run for the hills. I could only imagine staying if I had already fallen in love when I was told. But waiting that long is pretty dishonest. So, yeah...

Have you been tested ? It's unlikely you e not already been exposed
Ever had chicken pox?

Anonymous wrote:Somebody disclosed it to me when we were dating. I was very unsure what to do, and worried, and I called a friend for advice. One of the things she told me which has stayed with me was that the person who discloses to you early on that they have herpes is a person who is looking out for you. The way to repay trust is not to run for the hills, it's to proceed with caution. I ended up going forward with the relationship (slowly) and never caught it. (It's not as contagious as you might think).

This is great advice. Tell early (though not immediately -- let yourselves at least get to know each other first!) so the person knows you are being totally upfront. Although I might be freaked out if a person told me this very early on, I'd also respect it and appreciate it. I would be angry even if I really liked the other person if we got really into the relationship and then I found out. If I wasn't comfortable with continuing, it would feel like I just "wasted" my time with them and like they weren't being honest.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I might feel bad about it, but I would run. I'd be too afraid to risk getting it.

I am right there with you.

Sorry but herpes is nasty and forever.

You may already be a carrier.

I'm a woman and I hate when people say this crap. I had a baby, tested negative so I'm not a carrier.

+1 and I am the person that they were replying too. I also stand by my statement, herpes are nasty.

Well, bully for you. But the fact is the large majority of people who have it don't realize it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I might feel bad about it, but I would run. I'd be too afraid to risk getting it.

I am right there with you.

Sorry but herpes is nasty and forever.

You may already be a carrier.

I'm a woman and I hate when people say this crap. I had a baby, tested negative so I'm not a carrier.

+1 and I am the person that they were replying too. I also stand by my statement, herpes are nasty.

Did you ever have chicken pox, PP?

Nope.

Wow really? you had unprotected sex with the 3 and nothing ever got caught?