Anonymous
04/22/2015 16:34
Subject: Tragic death of Grace Mann
Anonymous wrote:I think people always want to know why and if there is a way to prevent it. I get it.
But we don't always get those answers. Sometimes, the answer is the perpetrator was BSC and just snapped and the victim was in the wrong place at the wrong time.
I just think it's ridiculous to immediately jump to judgement - "why was a 30 year old man living with them?" THAT is the victim blaming.
No one is "victim blaming" FFS. It's an unusual aspect to the case.
Anonymous
04/22/2015 16:26
Subject: Tragic death of Grace Mann
Anonymous wrote:Grace was a student at Burke and my daughter knew her. They were not close but dd knew her well enough to know that she was a remarkably kind young woman. Dd was on the receiving end of that kindness at a time when she needed it. And dd told me of other situations where Grace reached out to someone in need.
I know we all want to know more details ASAP but, seriously, just let it go until we hear more from someone who actually knows more about what happened. There's this way in which we feel driven to figure things like this out so we can feel secure (and probably falsely) that this would never happen to us -- like we'd be too smart to accept this guy as a roommate. And it's frankly really scary to think that this could happen to my college-aged daughter. But we don't know what happened or why and whether there was any actual sign of trouble with this roommate before this happened.
But we do know that a remarkable young woman has been lost to her family, friends, and the community at large. Just leave her be for a bit and let people be sad and wait till the rest of the story comes out.
Well said, although perhaps too sensible and compassionate for DCUM.
Prayers for the family.
Anonymous
04/22/2015 16:24
Subject: Tragic death of Grace Mann
Different people are comfortable with different levels of risk. To each his own.
Anonymous
04/22/2015 16:21
Subject: Tragic death of Grace Mann
Of course my first thought was it was a bit odd that three young co-eds were rooming with a 30 year old male.
Then I remembered my friend who lived in a similar home in Arlington that was split into 3 units. She had some interesting characters who lived elsewhere in the same house. That she had little to no contact with.
Please stop jumping to conclusions. You really have no idea.
Then I remembered my friend who lived in a similar home in Arlington that was split into 3 units. She had some interesting characters who lived elsewhere in the same house. That she had little to no contact with.
Please stop jumping to conclusions. You really have no idea.
Anonymous
04/22/2015 15:45
Subject: Tragic death of Grace Mann
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Blaming the victim already? Greeeeeat
? Where?
By focusing on how this could have been prevented, as a way to reassure ourselves that it was preventable and won't happen to us or our children.
But on a college campus there are undergrads, grad students, etc and I don't think I would have blinked at the prospect of a 30 year old roommate back when I was a college student living with different people each year.
Sounds like she was a very lovely young woman, so sad.
Are you saying this tragedy wasn't preventable? Would you be financially contributing to your young female college student sharing a place with some 30 year old guy?
Sure, our kids can do dumb things, but I sure as hell wouldn't be paying for it.
You don't know if it's preventable or not because no one knows what really happened. But if you're already of the mind that your daughter shouldn't be roommates with a 30-year-old man while in college, you didn't need this tragedy to wake you up to that conclusion. So you are in fact blaming the victim and now possibly her parents. Nice.
Again, would YOU pay for that kind of scenario?
It all depends on the context. If he had good references from people they knew, it's possible her parents thought a more mature returning student would be a positive, calming influence on the house.
Anonymous
04/22/2015 15:42
Subject: Tragic death of Grace Mann
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Blaming the victim already? Greeeeeat
? Where?
By focusing on how this could have been prevented, as a way to reassure ourselves that it was preventable and won't happen to us or our children.
But on a college campus there are undergrads, grad students, etc and I don't think I would have blinked at the prospect of a 30 year old roommate back when I was a college student living with different people each year.
Sounds like she was a very lovely young woman, so sad.
Are you saying this tragedy wasn't preventable? Would you be financially contributing to your young female college student sharing a place with some 30 year old guy?
Sure, our kids can do dumb things, but I sure as hell wouldn't be paying for it.
You don't know if it's preventable or not because no one knows what really happened. But if you're already of the mind that your daughter shouldn't be roommates with a 30-year-old man while in college, you didn't need this tragedy to wake you up to that conclusion. So you are in fact blaming the victim and now possibly her parents. Nice.
Again, would YOU pay for that kind of scenario?
Good grief. The vast majority of 30 year old full time college students are fine people and might even serve as sort of a big brother/big sister influence on younger students. I think people are getting distracted by irrelevant things. Obviously NO ONE expected this awful tragedy to happen.
Anonymous
04/22/2015 15:40
Subject: Tragic death of Grace Mann
WHY do people feel like they have a "right" and "deserve" to know every detail of this poor girl's life? She was murdered. That doesn't mean its open season on every facet of her life.
Anonymous
04/22/2015 15:38
Subject: Tragic death of Grace Mann
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Blaming the victim already? Greeeeeat
? Where?
By focusing on how this could have been prevented, as a way to reassure ourselves that it was preventable and won't happen to us or our children.
But on a college campus there are undergrads, grad students, etc and I don't think I would have blinked at the prospect of a 30 year old roommate back when I was a college student living with different people each year.
Sounds like she was a very lovely young woman, so sad.
Are you saying this tragedy wasn't preventable? Would you be financially contributing to your young female college student sharing a place with some 30 year old guy?
Sure, our kids can do dumb things, but I sure as hell wouldn't be paying for it.
You don't know if it's preventable or not because no one knows what really happened. But if you're already of the mind that your daughter shouldn't be roommates with a 30-year-old man while in college, you didn't need this tragedy to wake you up to that conclusion. So you are in fact blaming the victim and now possibly her parents. Nice.
Again, would YOU pay for that kind of scenario?
Anonymous
04/22/2015 15:37
Subject: Tragic death of Grace Mann
The age of the accused is completely irrelevant. You're looking for reasons, for blame. Until the facts are made public, all we know is that someone with a great deal of promise is dead. It's a terrible tragedy and my heart goes out to her family and friends.
Anonymous
04/22/2015 15:29
Subject: Tragic death of Grace Mann
Anonymous wrote:Grace was a student at Burke and my daughter knew her. They were not close but dd knew her well enough to know that she was a remarkably kind young woman. Dd was on the receiving end of that kindness at a time when she needed it. And dd told me of other situations where Grace reached out to someone in need.
I know we all want to know more details ASAP but, seriously, just let it go until we hear more from someone who actually knows more about what happened. There's this way in which we feel driven to figure things like this out so we can feel secure (and probably falsely) that this would never happen to us -- like we'd be too smart to accept this guy as a roommate. And it's frankly really scary to think that this could happen to my college-aged daughter. But we don't know what happened or why and whether there was any actual sign of trouble with this roommate before this happened.
But we do know that a remarkable young woman has been lost to her family, friends, and the community at large. Just leave her be for a bit and let people be sad and wait till the rest of the story comes out.
very well said. Thank you.
My heart just breaks for her parents.
Anonymous
04/22/2015 15:25
Subject: Tragic death of Grace Mann
Grace was a student at Burke and my daughter knew her. They were not close but dd knew her well enough to know that she was a remarkably kind young woman. Dd was on the receiving end of that kindness at a time when she needed it. And dd told me of other situations where Grace reached out to someone in need.
I know we all want to know more details ASAP but, seriously, just let it go until we hear more from someone who actually knows more about what happened. There's this way in which we feel driven to figure things like this out so we can feel secure (and probably falsely) that this would never happen to us -- like we'd be too smart to accept this guy as a roommate. And it's frankly really scary to think that this could happen to my college-aged daughter. But we don't know what happened or why and whether there was any actual sign of trouble with this roommate before this happened.
But we do know that a remarkable young woman has been lost to her family, friends, and the community at large. Just leave her be for a bit and let people be sad and wait till the rest of the story comes out.
I know we all want to know more details ASAP but, seriously, just let it go until we hear more from someone who actually knows more about what happened. There's this way in which we feel driven to figure things like this out so we can feel secure (and probably falsely) that this would never happen to us -- like we'd be too smart to accept this guy as a roommate. And it's frankly really scary to think that this could happen to my college-aged daughter. But we don't know what happened or why and whether there was any actual sign of trouble with this roommate before this happened.
But we do know that a remarkable young woman has been lost to her family, friends, and the community at large. Just leave her be for a bit and let people be sad and wait till the rest of the story comes out.
Anonymous
04/22/2015 15:23
Subject: Tragic death of Grace Mann
May this poor girl rest in peace. My heart goes out to her family.
Anonymous
04/22/2015 15:13
Subject: Tragic death of Grace Mann
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Blaming the victim already? Greeeeeat
? Where?
By focusing on how this could have been prevented, as a way to reassure ourselves that it was preventable and won't happen to us or our children.
But on a college campus there are undergrads, grad students, etc and I don't think I would have blinked at the prospect of a 30 year old roommate back when I was a college student living with different people each year.
Sounds like she was a very lovely young woman, so sad.
Are you saying this tragedy wasn't preventable? Would you be financially contributing to your young female college student sharing a place with some 30 year old guy?
Sure, our kids can do dumb things, but I sure as hell wouldn't be paying for it.
You don't know if it's preventable or not because no one knows what really happened. But if you're already of the mind that your daughter shouldn't be roommates with a 30-year-old man while in college, you didn't need this tragedy to wake you up to that conclusion. So you are in fact blaming the victim and now possibly her parents. Nice.
Anonymous
04/22/2015 15:04
Subject: Tragic death of Grace Mann
I think people always want to know why and if there is a way to prevent it. I get it.
But we don't always get those answers. Sometimes, the answer is the perpetrator was BSC and just snapped and the victim was in the wrong place at the wrong time.
I just think it's ridiculous to immediately jump to judgement - "why was a 30 year old man living with them?" THAT is the victim blaming.
But we don't always get those answers. Sometimes, the answer is the perpetrator was BSC and just snapped and the victim was in the wrong place at the wrong time.
I just think it's ridiculous to immediately jump to judgement - "why was a 30 year old man living with them?" THAT is the victim blaming.
Anonymous
04/22/2015 15:00
Subject: Tragic death of Grace Mann
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Blaming the victim already? Greeeeeat
? Where?
By focusing on how this could have been prevented, as a way to reassure ourselves that it was preventable and won't happen to us or our children.
But on a college campus there are undergrads, grad students, etc and I don't think I would have blinked at the prospect of a 30 year old roommate back when I was a college student living with different people each year.
Sounds like she was a very lovely young woman, so sad.
Are you saying this tragedy wasn't preventable? Would you be financially contributing to your young female college student sharing a place with some 30 year old guy?
Sure, our kids can do dumb things, but I sure as hell wouldn't be paying for it.