Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Trespassing? I am on and off my kids' school property all the time. Is it really trespassing?

If you are sneaking around without permission to be there then that's tresspassing. If you sign in at the front office and tell them your purpose for being there and the school is cool with it then you are not tresspassing.

And, before you start peering over a fence at children (yours and others), know that it really isn't so hard to tell the school what you are doing and why.

YES. Being on school grounds without legit purpose or permission is most definitely trespassing. If you sign in, then you are not. If you just skulk around the playground, you are trespassing, and being an asshole.

The reason I say counselor is that he/she can help give the child or the parents the tools required to get through whatever is happening. It is not about the other kids it is about OPs' kid. Whatever the real situation is, OP's child feels slighted at recess and the family needs to figure out a way to help the child deal with this. Counselors handle these situations for a living. I am sure they can provide so quick and simple guidance to help OP and her child.

As a teacher, I say talk to the teacher first. It may surprise you how many kids do need lots of help from the counselor. This may be a quick, simple issue for the teacher to resolve. Start there. The teacher knows your child best. Try not to make this bigger than it is. If it is a problem, then go to the counselor. The teacher may suggest talking with the counselor if she sees other problems.

Feeling left out is significant. However, it is not rare. Try not to magnify it with your son. Meanwhile, encourage him to seek other people to play with. Sometimes, kids are determined to play with a group that wants to do something else. It is also possible that friends from the other class are more interesting to them. Sad, but it is sometimes true.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
As PP mentioned, something is going on. Recess should be your DC's downtime. It should not be a source of stress. I am sorry to hear it is.

Talk to the teacher, talk to the counselor and get to the bottom of it.

BTW, how old is your child. I am picturing lower elementary.




Agreed. This seems to be more than just a recess issue.

Why do you think that? OP says the kid does fine with friends--that it only seems to be a problem at recess. I agree it should be a downtime. I taught school. I also know that kids don't always agree about how or what to play. OP can talk to the teacher and get some ideas of what is going on--but to pull in the counselor at this point may be overkill. Start with the teacher. As a teacher, I know that if a parent came to me with this problem that I would be sure to be more vigilant in watching this child. Or, I might know that the problem is that his friends prefer playing a game that the child does not like. Give the teacher a chance to resolve the problem.

The counselors are there to help--but they should be the next step--not the first.

I don't think the counselor is overkill at all. Once a week the counselor spends time with my DS's K class (I think they meet over lunch sometimes) and she talk to all the kids about how to deal with issues.
Especially in lower grades, kids should see the counselor as another adult who is there to help them. As we know 2 teachers for 20+ kids can be tough.

The reason I say counselor is that he/she can help give the child or the parents the tools required to get through whatever is happening. It is not about the other kids it is about OPs' kid. Whatever the real situation is, OP's child feels slighted at recess and the family needs to figure out a way to help the child deal with this. Counselors handle these situations for a living. I am sure they can provide so quick and simple guidance to help OP and her child.

I agree with PP that the simplest explanation may be that his classroom friends play something he doesn't like. Our own DS who is in 1st has a bunch of friends in the classroom who play a fantasy game at recess and he can't stand that so he plays soccer, basketball or another sport with other friends.

At this age kids are pretty flexible about who they let into their group so maybe the recess aide can facilitate an introduction to a group of friends who are playing something he likes?

Anonymous wrote:
As PP mentioned, something is going on. Recess should be your DC's downtime. It should not be a source of stress. I am sorry to hear it is.

Talk to the teacher, talk to the counselor and get to the bottom of it.

BTW, how old is your child. I am picturing lower elementary.




Agreed. This seems to be more than just a recess issue.

Why do you think that? OP says the kid does fine with friends--that it only seems to be a problem at recess. I agree it should be a downtime. I taught school. I also know that kids don't always agree about how or what to play. OP can talk to the teacher and get some ideas of what is going on--but to pull in the counselor at this point may be overkill. Start with the teacher. As a teacher, I know that if a parent came to me with this problem that I would be sure to be more vigilant in watching this child. Or, I might know that the problem is that his friends prefer playing a game that the child does not like. Give the teacher a chance to resolve the problem.

The counselors are there to help--but they should be the next step--not the first.

Anonymous wrote:As PP mentioned, something is going on. Recess should be your DC's downtime. It should not be a source of stress. I am sorry to hear it is.

Talk to the teacher, talk to the counselor and get to the bottom of it.

BTW, how old is your child. I am picturing lower elementary.

Agreed. This seems to be more than just a recess issue.