Never in a million years would I have thought my kid would be into pot, but he is.

Anonymous wrote:I wonder how many of these problems would have been solved if parents had done a few things better when the kids were younger...

1. Be parents (not buddies)
2. Be disciplined (brought out the paddle stick from time to time)
3. Be free-range (Opposite of helicopter: allow their kids to explore, get hurt, get injured, take risks, gain some independence and street smarts, learn from mistakes, etc.)


So how many of you are now admitting quietly to yourself, "Well, crap! I tried to be her buddy. I didn't dare to discipline. And I am still blaming her teacher and her boss at Starbucks, etc. for not treating my princess how she deserves to be treated."

I was waiting for someone to come on and judge us for our kids' struggles. You do this because you want to demonstrate to yourself that these things could never happen to your child (because you hit them? Good Lord). Those other parents screwed up in some way,but not me. My kids will be fine. I thought that too, until it happened to my kid. We have a very strong family history of depression and i think it was inevitable. Fortunately by hitting the wall at a young age, DC got help and is probably better equipped to deal with this in the future.

I was not my DC's buddy. I used discipline (though I never hit). I gave DC independence in many ways. So, nice try. The brain over rides all these things. Meaning, your children are not safe.

Thank you for this thread, it's like therapy.

Is there a support group for this kind of stuff? Just so stressful here. Ugh!!!!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder how many of these problems would have been solved if parents had done a few things better when the kids were younger...

1. Be parents (not buddies)
2. Be disciplined (brought out the paddle stick from time to time)
3. Be free-range (Opposite of helicopter: allow their kids to explore, get hurt, get injured, take risks, gain some independence and street smarts, learn from mistakes, etc.)


So how many of you are now admitting quietly to yourself, "Well, crap! I tried to be her buddy. I didn't dare to discipline. And I am still blaming her teacher and her boss at Starbucks, etc. for not treating my princess how she deserves to be treated."

You are in for a rude awakening, unless you are cool with drinking underage and smoking pot.

NP here. I think you got that backwards.

At any rate, I think its normal to second-guess the choices we make as parents. Its certainly been tough figuring this whole parenting thing on the fly. I wish I'd kept the instruction manual they gave me at the hospital.

I think the 1.2.3. poster has it backwards.

Anonymous wrote:I wonder how many of these problems would have been solved if parents had done a few things better when the kids were younger...

1. Be parents (not buddies)
2. Be disciplined (brought out the paddle stick from time to time)
3. Be free-range (Opposite of helicopter: allow their kids to explore, get hurt, get injured, take risks, gain some independence and street smarts, learn from mistakes, etc.)


So how many of you are now admitting quietly to yourself, "Well, crap! I tried to be her buddy. I didn't dare to discipline. And I am still blaming her teacher and her boss at Starbucks, etc. for not treating my princess how she deserves to be treated."

the paddle stick?

That is one of the stupidest things I have read on DCUM. You are saying that if you had beat your child with a stick things would now be so much better? Yes, because violence is always the way to enhance relationships and communication.

How about just trying to talk with your kids, see them as real people? Not solve all their problems but be a consistent and loving presence in their lives.