I think that's what is nice about texting. Oftentimes you don't really have enough to talk about to warrant a phone call every night. So at the very least you can shoot off a text or two just saying I love you or I miss you or whatever. Just to maintain that connection. I think this is the very least you should do in a relationship if you are not living together. You are supposed to be each other's #1.

We talk at least once everyday. Sometimes twice. We don't live together. We have been together 4 yrs.

I've posted before, but that's what caught my DH in his affair - they were texting like school girls thirty times a day. He would text her first thing in the morning 365 days. She was a coworker so he still maintains it was "work" related. Yeah right. At 4 AM. Every day. It still makes me over the edge, these denials. Help me see I'm not crazy as he says that this is over the line.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Omg. F that. I talk to my spouse like 30 times a day and same before marriage

Glad it works for you, but my DH would probably divorce me if I interrupted him 30 times a day while he's at work! Fortunately, I don't want to talk to anyone that often either.

+1 DH and I lived apart for a couple years and we didn't talk most days. Maybe an email or text but even that wasn't guaranteed. We're both very introverted so no complaints.

Anonymous wrote:Omg. F that. I talk to my spouse like 30 times a day and same before marriage

Glad it works for you, but my DH would probably divorce me if I interrupted him 30 times a day while he's at work! Fortunately, I don't want to talk to anyone that often either.

OP here, so the verdict is out. He hates texting or even talking on the phone ( he doesn't have any social media accounts may I add) he'd prefer to talk in person.

He had no idea this was a problem for me and thought it was no biggie that we don't talk everyday. His response was "You know where I am from 9-5 during the week, or after work".

Anonymous wrote:I think the posters should state their gender along with their opinion.

I am male, and I think "calling everyday" is overkill, and if my girlfriend -- who I do not live with -- began insisting that I must check in with her everyday, regardless of whether there is anything to talk about, I would would be alarmed.

Weird. I don't think you are that into your girlfriend. I'm a female and my bf calls me everyday sometimes multiple times a day and we text as well for the past 3 years. He wants to get more serious and marry but he calls me not the other way around usually. I'm more of a texter though so I text him a hi... what is a hi just takes a minute of your time. A 'how is your day going' shows you care about the other person and how they are doing or feeling at that moment. What's wrong with that? It actually makes me feel good and makes me think more about him thru the day. Lot of cold fish here!

This is a good point.

Don't "demand" that he call you every day. Just ask him how he feels about things and see if you guys can decide on something together.

It's not that he is right and you are wrong or that you are right and he is wrong. It's that you have different set of needs. As you can tell from the vast array of responses. For some not talking every day is perfect. For others, once a day or several times a day is the norm.

So don't approach this from a right/wrong perspective. Approach it from a "I have this need, this is how I'd like you to fulfill that need." He can then say, Yes, No or that doesn't work for me so let's negotiate something that works for both of us.

If he says no, or agrees to something then doesn't follow through, all you can do is accept or leave him.

Anonymous wrote:OP here, my boyfriend can't really talk at work, but when he does get downtime he may call just to say hi until another customer comes over to his desk.

I'm not faulting him during his work hours just when he gets off. He's not a texting type of guy, but I do expect a call saying "I'm going to the gym, or going home"

It's always been like this and I just thought I was being too needy, but I guess I'm not.

Maybe I will tell him how I feel this evening.

Let us know how that conversation goes.

I don't verbally speak to my SO every day. We do text though and we do call for quick 3 minute rants occasionally. People handle communication differently. I grew up in a rural community and didn't have reliable cell service until about 6 years ago. Dating someone who has had a cellphone for over 10 years (and a significant part of high school and college) is different. I'm not as connected as others.