Assume this is dmv area. With the crazy housing prices, this kind of arrangement is not unusual at all. 2 br apt rent with nothing fancy could easily $2500 per month and who can easily afford that in this kind of economy?
They just don’t speak up.
Alot of couple with young kids living in one br setting, and when the kid is older, ones can use living room, or set up bunkbed, or partition.

Definitely workable and worth it to keep her in her school.

FWIW, my mother grew up in a one bedroom apartment with her older sister and two parents.

Anonymous wrote:
Just adding I've lived in one bedroom apts. with walk in closets plenty large enough to serve as a bedroom for a seven year old. Just a thought.

The older garden style apartments usually have large walk in closets in the bedrooms.

The master bedrooms can have closets big enough to accommodate a queen sized bed. I had a friend growing up who put their bed in the closet which meant they had the entire open room, where they had a couch, TV, stereo and desk.

We used our “utility closet” as a linen closet/playroom.

The newer apartments are tiny in comparison to the older. They might make more efficient use of space but they are much smaller.

We lived in a 1 bd when we divorced and moved to another 1bd with child (I have majority custody).
We live in a VHCOL area and it’s not unheard of.
You and your child will be fine.
I come from another country where whole families used to share a room, unfortunately.
Not great but definitely not the end of the world.
You’ll think of an arrangement I am sure.

Futon in living room for me. Child had the bed in the bedroom when they were at my place.

*Actually maybe she's 18

Hi,

I know this is a super old post, but I was hoping that you could get an update on how it went with your move. I'm planning the exact same thing with my 7 year old son- will be filing for divorce this year and am looking for a place right by my son's school. It's a beach area and very expensive so a one bedroom is all I can afford right now. I am wondering if it's doable/comfortable? Your daughter should be about 17 now, I'm curious about what she thought of that time in her life. Hope you will see this!

Check out apartmenttherapy.com for lots of folks living small like that. It's not uncommon. Good luck!

you could both have the bedroom but separate beds - either a full and twin, or two twins if the full won't fit.

Dear OP -- will be in same boat as you this year. Searched online and found lots of cool ideas for setting up the open plan kitchen/living room/DR to accommodate my bed (who wants to sleep on a sleeper sofa anyway?) and plan to put DD in the BR. It can totally work. I want freedom to use the kitchen, LR area, even laundry if it exists, after I put her to bed. Likely will mount TV on wall facing sofa and put small table, two chairs beneath for dining/homework/etc. May skip couch altogether and go with two oversized chairs for more flexibility. Will separate bed from rest of space with bookshelves. Good luck!

Growing up in Manhattan I had a few friends who shared a one bedroom with their parent all the way through high school. One parent let my friend have the bedroom and another friend split the bedroom with their mom (she put bookshelves down the middle to give them each privacy). This seemed to work out completely fine in both cases.

First, I totally agree about saving money. In my case, my XH took me to court four times. You just never know how much money you need and it's not going to be a problem to be "saving too much." So I totally think you are on the right track to look at a 1 BR and bring your costs as low as possible.

Second, I think your DD's feelings about the apartment will depend on your feelings. If you can make it clear to yourself and her that there are great benefits to the apartment, it will make a big difference. What about a canopy or drape over the bed, to create more ability to sleep in but add a really cool atmosphere? What about a bunk bed with a playspace underneath? Show her some pictures. Talk about it with her so you are aware of her concerns (like if she's afraid of heights and won't want to sleep in a bunk bed.)

What about looking for a building that is very near the zoo or right near a wonderful playground? That can make apartment living much easier. And it makes it more likely there are other kids in the building.

When you move in, put up flyers suggesting playdates at a fixed time at that playground, telling people you'll be wearing a "green" (or whatever) t-shirt. The more friends she has in the building, the more she will LOVE being there. Also, you will find it's pretty cool to go to playdates in your PJS and slippers.

Finally, it's important not to send any message of insecurity or anxiety about dad having it nicer. He might objectively, but this is your child. She loves you for who you are. She wants to be with you and have good times with you. You are opening up a wedge by showing her any of that insecurity about "daddy's nice home" or "nice car," etc. My line to my son is "Yes, things are sure different at Daddy's and Mommy's. We have different rules and different bathrooms. Sometimes that's great and sometimes not so great; that's what different things are like. They are nice in different ways."

Just adding I've lived in one bedroom apts. with walk in closets plenty large enough to serve as a bedroom for a seven year old. Just a thought.

Can you negotiate with stbx for more money to cover the cost of a 2 bed? 1 bed is totally doable of course, but I'm concerned for you frankly. I'm having a tough time of transitioning my 5.5yo DD to her own room so that I can have my own space/privacy. She's used to sleeping alone and her dad having a separate room at his place, but she felt entitled to my living space. Have you tried negotiating with your spouse so that you can afford a 2 bedroom in your current neighborhood?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I shared a room with my DD from
Ages 7-13. Wonderful memories. It's absolutely fine.
It was a fun time in our lives.

Thank you for this. One of my biggest stresses is that she will likely have a much nicer setup when she's with her dad. So I really want to make this fun for both of us, so she's happy with the time she spends with me too.

I'm on of the pp. I was also worried about this. My ex lives in a nice place, my apt might generously be called "retro shabby" but my kid doesn't care. She loves that we live right next to a park and that I'll buy her a popsicle at the sketchy corner store. She loves that I'm the one who will have her friends over.