Anonymous
04/20/2015 12:42
Subject: How to deal with DH who walks away when I am talking?
My DW tells me to do something, then I walk off to start doing it. Then when I'm downstairs, she'll suddenly remember something ELSE she had to say.
Other times she will pause for 10-15 seconds, so I think she's done. So I go off and do whatever I was doing before, but it turns out it was only to swap tape reels.
Very annoying. Basically it's non-annoying enough that if I raise the issue, I'M the bad guy (and we need 10-15 minutes to discuss her feelings), but if I ignore it then I'm not paying attention to her!
Other times she will pause for 10-15 seconds, so I think she's done. So I go off and do whatever I was doing before, but it turns out it was only to swap tape reels.
Very annoying. Basically it's non-annoying enough that if I raise the issue, I'M the bad guy (and we need 10-15 minutes to discuss her feelings), but if I ignore it then I'm not paying attention to her!
Anonymous
04/17/2015 10:59
Subject: Re:How to deal with DH who walks away when I am talking?
Anonymous wrote:My husband does this and it drives me nuts. I think in our case it is definitely a case of male vs female communication styles. I bring something up - I want to discuss it - all the aspects of the situation, etc. - he just wants to make a quick decision.
I have come to realize that it is a difference of communication and decision making styles and this realization helps at least sometimes. I do refuse to talk to him if he can't give me his full attention - no devices, etc.
Funny, because we are the opposite--he wants to talk things through, and I just want to convey important information, make a decision, and move on. I really do get bored when he's talking, because he takes forever to make a point, and constantly says things that I already know (and that he knows that I know)--so much padding! He's an extrovert and says everything he's thinking, and I'm an introvert and prefer to think things through rather than talking them through.
Anonymous
04/17/2015 09:36
Subject: How to deal with DH who walks away when I am talking?
Anonymous wrote:Squirt gun. Shoot him when his attention wanders.
My DH does this as well. He'll actually ask me a question and then walk away as I am answering. And I talk about 1/20th as much as he does. It's super annoying but I've gotten used to it. I text him now with stuff I actually want him to remember-- even if he's sitting right next to me. It's the only way to guarantee he will absorb the information, plus I then have proof that I told him.
Sometimes I will yell his name and say "I was talking!" And he will apologetically return to the room and pretend to be interested.
Another approach that works is to start with the end of my story or question or whatever. And he will then backpedal with questions to get the whole thing. For instance, I will start by asking, "How much do you want to spend on the garden this year?" This will throw him off and make him ask questions, which will end up in the discussion that I wanted to have. It is very effective. Same with work stuff. When he asks about my day, I lead with one sensational part-- it gets his attention and he follows up with questions. Like "well, I almost quit." "What? Why?" "Because Phil is an asshat." "Ha, what did he do?" Etc., etc, etc. it works.
THis is awesome - I'm totally going to try this. (I'm the pp w/ twins.)
Thx!
