Anonymous
Post 04/06/2015 19:27     Subject: Anyone get married at 23? Or around that age?
Anonymous wrote:Did you get married in your lower 20s? If so:

How old were you when you got married? 21
How old was your spouse?22
How old are you now?42
Are you still married? If not, how long were you married?22 years in Sept
Do you feel you were mature enough for marriage at that age?yes
Do you regret marrying at that age?no
What did your family think about it?
[b]They were happy for me. It's common in my hometown(Midwest city). My sister was 37 and still single at the time. My parents were past 60 and probably hoping to live to see grandkids. If I had waited my parents would've passed on when they were infants or unborn. No regrets.
Anonymous
Post 04/06/2015 19:23     Subject: Re:Anyone get married at 23? Or around that age?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What is the purpose of marrying so young? I'm not a fan of monogamy and I waited until my early 30s to get married. No way could I have married the guy I was dating at 23. Most people mature a lot in their tastes and preferences in their 20s.


A number of reasons:

-Why wait? I found the person I wanted to be with. The pool only gets worse and worse as time goes on
-We did not want to be having babies in our 30s, for financial reasons and for the sake of vanity. Babies hardly phased my body.

In hindsight, we never felt that we needed to keep up with the Joneses. We were 25 and had our first kid. We bought a small shit shack in Arlington (before prices were crazy) and we did not even notice that it was small and out of date, we were so happy to have a home together.

I SAH until I was the old age of 30 when I returned to work. My career never took a hit. Plus we hit the jackpot when it comes to real estate by being so serious when we were young. We are now 45 & 46, one in college, one graduating HS this June. We have friends our age with toddlers and struggling with the cost of housing and living here. We're established in our careers, have a house paid off, and our boys got scolarships which has been an enormous windfall. I feel like we have a whole life in front of us, I'd do it this way a million times over. I have ZERO and I mean ZERO desire to be running after toddlers at my age. The only thing I'm running in are in triathlons.


+1. I totally agree. I love having grown kids in my mid 40's. Would not have it any other way.
Anonymous
Post 04/06/2015 17:48     Subject: Re:Anyone get married at 23? Or around that age?
Anonymous wrote:What is the purpose of marrying so young? I'm not a fan of monogamy and I waited until my early 30s to get married. No way could I have married the guy I was dating at 23. Most people mature a lot in their tastes and preferences in their 20s.


You are either into monogamy or not. It has nothing to do with how young you married. Nobody who enjoys varied sex "gets it out of their system" and then gets married. If you like variety, then you like it and if you can't get it because you've forced yourself into a traditional role, then you are going to be pretty miserable. I'm in an open relationship and I can tell you that MOST people who are married, but not monogamous are in their late 30s/early 40s. This is when sex drive for women especially started to fire up and when you got married has no bearing on if you do or don't practice monogamy.
Anonymous
Post 04/06/2015 17:46     Subject: Anyone get married at 23? Or around that age?
Anonymous wrote:Did you get married in your lower 20s? If so:

How old were you when you got married? 23
How old was your spouse? 27
How old are you now? 40
Are you still married? If not, how long were you married? Married still
Do you feel you were mature enough for marriage at that age? Yes
Do you regret marrying at that age? No
What did your family think about it?
They were fine with it


My answers are above
Anonymous
Post 04/06/2015 17:41     Subject: Re:Anyone get married at 23? Or around that age?
Anonymous wrote:What is the purpose of marrying so young? I'm not a fan of monogamy and I waited until my early 30s to get married. No way could I have married the guy I was dating at 23. Most people mature a lot in their tastes and preferences in their 20s.


A number of reasons:

-Why wait? I found the person I wanted to be with. The pool only gets worse and worse as time goes on
-We did not want to be having babies in our 30s, for financial reasons and for the sake of vanity. Babies hardly phased my body.

In hindsight, we never felt that we needed to keep up with the Joneses. We were 25 and had our first kid. We bought a small shit shack in Arlington (before prices were crazy) and we did not even notice that it was small and out of date, we were so happy to have a home together.

I SAH until I was the old age of 30 when I returned to work. My career never took a hit. Plus we hit the jackpot when it comes to real estate by being so serious when we were young. We are now 45 & 46, one in college, one graduating HS this June. We have friends our age with toddlers and struggling with the cost of housing and living here. We're established in our careers, have a house paid off, and our boys got scolarships which has been an enormous windfall. I feel like we have a whole life in front of us, I'd do it this way a million times over. I have ZERO and I mean ZERO desire to be running after toddlers at my age. The only thing I'm running in are in triathlons.
Anonymous
Post 04/06/2015 16:36     Subject: Anyone get married at 23? Or around that age?
How old were you when you got married? 24
How old was your spouse? 25
How old are you now? 30
Are you still married? If not, how long were you married? Yes
Do you feel you were mature enough for marriage at that age? Yes
Do you regret marrying at that age? No
What did your family think about it? Fully supportive
Anonymous
Post 04/06/2015 16:36     Subject: Anyone get married at 23? Or around that age?
How old were you when you got married? 25
How old was your spouse? 33
How old are you now? 58
Are you still married? Yes
Do you feel you were mature enough for marriage at that age? Yes.
Do you regret marrying at that age? No.
What did your family think about it? They were happy. But they also because frustrated when we didn't start a family until I was 30. I didn't marry him to start a family, I married him so no one else could have him!!!!
Anonymous
Post 04/06/2015 16:36     Subject: Anyone get married at 23? Or around that age?

23
Much older
35
Yes
Of course!
No regrets
They REALLY didn't like it, but had to lump it.
Anonymous
Post 04/06/2015 16:30     Subject: Anyone get married at 23? Or around that age?
Anonymous wrote:Did you get married in your lower 20s? If so:

How old were you when you got married?
How old was your spouse?
How old are you now?
Are you still married? If not, how long were you married?
Do you feel you were mature enough for marriage at that age?
Do you regret marrying at that age?
What did your family think about it?


Got married at 25
Spouse also 25
Now 29
Still married
Absolutely mature enough to marry back then
Don't regret a thing
My family thought I am an adult and therefor able to make my own decisions. They love my husband and were happy for us.
Anonymous
Post 04/06/2015 15:23     Subject: Re:Anyone get married at 23? Or around that age?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What is the purpose of marrying so young? I'm not a fan of monogamy and I waited until my early 30s to get married. No way could I have married the guy I was dating at 23. Most people mature a lot in their tastes and preferences in their 20s.

Honestly, I didn't want to be a mom for the first time in my late 30's


Reasons vary. I married at 21 but we did not have kids until Our 30s. Been married 19 years now. We were high school sweethearts and we got lucky it worked out. We grew more alike aNd together as the years passed, but it could have gone either way. You never really can know.


I agree, but that is true for people who get married later, too.
Anonymous
Post 04/06/2015 15:22     Subject: Re:Anyone get married at 23? Or around that age?
How old were you when you got married? 24
How old was your spouse? 27
How old are you now? 46
Are you still married? Yes
Do you feel you were mature enough for marriage at that age? Yes.
Do you regret marrying at that age? No.
What did your family think about it? They were happy that I was getting married, but frustrated because I waited until I was 32 to have my first kid.
Anonymous
Post 04/06/2015 15:20     Subject: Re:Anyone get married at 23? Or around that age?
First marriage- 21- we were both college educated,mature in many ways, yet really dumb, apparently to do this.
Second marriage- 27- still married- more that 30 years!



Would not recommend getting married at 21 to anyone. Brains aren't even fully formed until 25. I wish I had waited. It was the times- living together was not cool really, and my ex husband didn't even have time to decide what he wanted in life for himseld, much less for a family of his. Not a great move.
Anonymous
Post 04/06/2015 15:12     Subject: Anyone get married at 23? Or around that age?
Anonymous wrote:DH here.

Did you get married in your lower 20s? If so:

How old were you when you got married? 24
How old was your spouse? 25
How old are you now? 35
Are you still married? If not, how long were you married? Yes.
Do you feel you were mature enough for marriage at that age? Yes, absolutely.
Do you regret marrying at that age? Definitely not.
What did your family think about it? I didn't get the impression that anyone thought it was out of the ordinary. My parents were married at 24 and 22 and still going strong, same for in-laws who were married at 22. To head off the probable stereotypes, I'll note that we have graduate degrees and a "1%" household income.


+1 on all counts (married for 40+ years), except for the income--not in the upper 1% but professional-type salaries. Married at 22.
Anonymous
Post 04/06/2015 15:05     Subject: Re:Anyone get married at 23? Or around that age?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What is the purpose of marrying so young? I'm not a fan of monogamy and I waited until my early 30s to get married. No way could I have married the guy I was dating at 23. Most people mature a lot in their tastes and preferences in their 20s.

Honestly, I didn't want to be a mom for the first time in my late 30's


Reasons vary. I married at 21 but we did not have kids until Our 30s. Been married 19 years now. We were high school sweethearts and we got lucky it worked out. We grew more alike aNd together as the years passed, but it could have gone either way. You never really can know.
Anonymous
Post 04/06/2015 14:40     Subject: Re:Anyone get married at 23? Or around that age?
Anonymous wrote:How old were you when you got married? 22
How old was your spouse? 23
How old are you now? 29
Are you still married? If not, how long were you married? Still married
Do you feel you were mature enough for marriage at that age? Yep. Had been out of school for a year, working full time, gone through pre-marital counseling, discussed things of importance...
Do you regret marrying at that age? No, not at all
What did your family think about it? They didn't really know my now-husband (they live in california, I met him in college here in DC. I think they'd met him once), so it was a bit frustrating to them, I think.

I love having been married so young. We got to do all the "firsts" together. First interviews, first jobs, first car purchases, first house, etc. We grew up together, learned from each other. We didn't have established habits to break like we would have if we were living apart for years before hand. I'm not really sure what I missed out on by marrying early...other than maybe having more money for our wedding!


OP here. I feel the same way. We have already had some firsts together, since we've been living together. First apartment, having a child, graduating college, first job, interviews, etc. We definitely have learned from each other and I think it's great that you were able to learn and grow together. Thank you!