Anonymous wrote:Why did you have a kid with this kind of work?

Seems like a little lower pay for a better life is what you should be seeking.

maybe that's her long term plan but she has to pay her dues first - it doesn't work out perfectly for everyone right away.

is your MIL retired? Could she agree to come into the city 2 nights a week to take over from the nanny - esp. on those 9 to 9 days? You can put a daybed in baby's room and she could spend the night a couple nights a week.

BTW - Nannies sometimes call in sick, so you'll need a back up plan for that. Look into whether work has a back up day care arrangement.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been a WOHMS for 20 years, but really wonder why you had a child at all.

Perhaps you should stay on topic or get back to work and mind your own business. I'm the OP and I don't care about your opinion of my decision to reproduce.

With two nannies and this job, you will never see your child. This is a fact.

I guess that's a very valuable insight?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been a WOHMS for 20 years, but really wonder why you had a child at all.

Perhaps you should stay on topic or get back to work and mind your own business. I'm the OP and I don't care about your opinion of my decision to reproduce.

With two nannies and this job, you will never see your child. This is a fact.

Anonymous wrote:I have been a WOHMS for 20 years, but really wonder why you had a child at all.

Perhaps you should stay on topic or get back to work and mind your own business. I'm the OP and I don't care about your opinion of my decision to reproduce.

I have been a WOHMS for 20 years, but really wonder why you had a child at all.

I'm wondering, if your MIL is already saying things about you staying home, and then she experiences you not even coming home (sleeping at sisters) on any regular basis, she might start pushing even more - it could become a bigger issue between you when she is right there.

Can the ILs move in with you to the city, at least during the week, while you settle down and establish a routine? Then, you may want to hire a nanny and go from there.

Two nannies and short commute
Not even a debate

Anonymous wrote:I am going against the prevailing advice and say go with ILs. You are going to have such a busy schedule that the only time you'll be seeing your kid is when she's sleeping, shorter commute or no. With that in mind, money saved and, even more importantly, the fact that she will have loving caregivers and not just paid professionals, is very important. It's only for a year, I say go for it.

If it was an hour or so each way, I'd still consider it. but 1.5-3 hours is insane!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just curious, what general area is the in-laws house? Is the commute by train, bus, driving? Something to think about is that the trains and buses run on express schedules in certain windows of time. If you work late you could be stuck on a local which would extend your commute time. And if you plan to drive in, well, that is its own special hell.

The commute is by train (1 hr 20 mins on a good day) AND driving (20 mins on a good day) because my in laws don't live near the train station. We would have to park a car at the train station for my husband to use (he would be commuting into the city too) and then he would either come pick me up when I get home or I would take a taxi. Yea, this is sounding crazy.

So very northern Westchester? Or Putnam? Honestly, yes, it is crazy. You can't live that far out and have a finance job with the schedule you are looking at. The commute alone is a reason not to do it, which doesn't even touch the potential problems living with your IL's could bring up. If they lived in Queens, I'd think it was worth considering, but not that far out. They are just too far away for this to be a realistic plan.

If you want to save money, maybe consider living in lower Westchester and commuting in from there? Your rent would be much less, and if my guess was right, your in-laws would be close enough to help out at least occasionally. I'm in Westchester myself right now. There are a large number of apartments near the Scarsdale station. You could look into Bronxville, or Hartsdale. I'm sure there are other spots worth considering that I'm not familiar with. City-data.com forums would probably have some ideas for you.

I am going against the prevailing advice and say go with ILs. You are going to have such a busy schedule that the only time you'll be seeing your kid is when she's sleeping, shorter commute or no. With that in mind, money saved and, even more importantly, the fact that she will have loving caregivers and not just paid professionals, is very important. It's only for a year, I say go for it.

If you live in walking distance, you may be able to run home during lunch sometimes and spend more time with your daughter.

Hmmm. Lots to consider here. I am wondering if it's reasonable to expect cuddle time in the mornings when you are dressed for work (suit and business clothes don't fare well with spit up, floor play time). My point being that you may have to lower your expectations on how much time you will actually be seeing your baby. Expecting a baby that is up early to stay up late (and 8 pm can be late for a baby) is also not reasonable.
However, like you pointed out, you may just have to do this for a year and plow through it. Hire the best nannies you can.
I am wondering about the debt pay off or saving you need to do. Can you lower those expectations/change that, ie, do you really have to pay it all off or save a certain amount in such a small timeframe?
Depending on the circumstances, you may need to adjust that plan if you find you really can't bear to be away from your child so much the second year

Why did you have a kid with this kind of work?

Seems like a little lower pay for a better life is what you should be seeking.