Keep in mind a decent two bedroom is going to run you at least 5k a month. I mean a place you would want to raise a family. 7k if you want to live somewhere like Tribeca. You need to be able to save money on top of this in order to eventually buy a place unless you want to be renters for life. With your budget will you be able to still go on vacation, eat out all the time, taxis, childcare etc?

To put things in perspective, when we moved to DC from NY I found the housing prices a joke! Really reasonable and people complained about it!
Make sure you haven't forgotten how much easier life is here.

OP have you looked at housing? Figured out what you can afford? The catch 22 in NY is that rent always goes up (and by a lot) but buying is a rip off too with the maintenance fee in the thousands and the percentage down required. For our last apartment in NY the annual rent increase was 400 dollars one year!

I would try and figure out what you can afford. Spending a ton on a shitty place and/or spending 3 hours a day a train sucks. Living or working in NY is not worth that, at least to me. It was really fun living there in my 20s , but it is not a place I would move now because I want a nice home, to save money, vacations, to be able to drive my car to the grocery store when I want and when I have a kid, to have easy access to my car for doctors appointments.

I lived in NYC for 15 years. Been in DC for 10. I don't get the comments about people being "mean" in either city. I will say tho that people in NYC are a lot chattier which I like. People here are much more reserved and closed off in a way. I miss having random exchanges with people from all walks of life the way I did in NYC... Maybe it's because it's just so damn crowded everywhere and you spend so much time squashed up against other people, you sort of develop a familiarity with strangers. I find people in NYC are sassier too which is fun - in DC, if you ask someone for directions somewhere, you'll get the answer - no more, no less. In NYC, you're as like to get the answer plus some commentary - related or unrelated to the question. People have lots of opinions up there, which they like to share whether asked for or not. My personality is such that I like that sort of thing. I can see a lot of folks in DC just feeling awkward and put upon in the same circumstances. That said, I have a great house and yard 5 min walk from metro in DC. No way in hell could I have that in NYC - 2-bedroom walkup at best.

We lived in NYC for five years, until DC1 was almost 2. I agree with the posts about not being able to afford a house/yard and feeing poor. I also don't think ppl in NYC are mean - not our experience at all. IMO bottom line is that things are easier here with kids. Many, many people adapt to NYC with kids, taking strollers on the subway, kids to fancy restaurants, taking advantage of Central Park, etc. We did. But down here it just seems like things are set up for kids, no adapting necessary. Lots of free events, county classes, every restaurant has crayon sets to give away. And having a car is so, so convenient. Car rides are practically activities all by themselves. I would not do it.

OP, grew up in NY and live in the Midwest. The problem with the US is that in anyplace with a lot of jobs, you cannot afford the housing and anywhere you can afford the housing, there are no jobs. I would love to move back to NY but unless you can see yourself making it really BIG, the costs will suck the life out of you.

OP, you don't need any sense knocked into you. Do it. People here in DC area are mean.

Anonymous wrote:Our libraries rock? Which ones are nice? When I got MLK library it makes me so sad. Compared to NYC central library!

+1

I used to work there. Yikes. MLK. Yikes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I lived in NYC for nearly a decade and totally agree that people are much, much nicer there than in DC. I can't believe how rude people are here. When I try to explain the difference to people, they roll their eyes. Here, you are judged for everything, including the shirt on your back. There no one cares. At all.
Move back to NYC if you can live a comparable lifestyle. It's worth it so your kids don't get used to the entitled pricks in the elite hoods of the DMV.

As a DC native married to a relocated former NYC resident, I beg to differ. First his family took your position, but guess what? They are all here now.

Look to the future, OP: every indicator shows that people and businesses are relocating away from NY state and NYC -- not just here but to California, Florida and Texas, too. Rude? I have never experienced the overt NYC levels nastiness in DC my entire life! Total strangers can come up to me (or any other stroller mom in DC) and ask for directions in perfect confidence of their safety. What kind of reaction did I get in NYC when I did that? Not exactly warmth.

NYC transplant here. Depends on the neighborhood. We lived in the UES and everyone was so friendly. You may have different experience in bad parts of Brooklyn or the Bronx.

Anonymous wrote:$250k there is equal to about $100k here. I would probably feel poor unless we were making $500k. That wouldn't even get a great apartment with having to pay for private school and all of the activities, nanny and eating out every meal.

Agree. We moved away from Brooklyn after 6 years and before having our child. I back for work every month and was there yesterday. I will say I am SO glad we don't live there anymore. I still love NYC and do not love DC, but our quality of life here is so much better for everyone.

I would try to find the place that feels more like "home." If that's NYC, many people make it work with kids (as you know). Also, is this job offer a dream job, once in a lifetime kind of opportunity, or just a way to get back to NYC? If it's a dream job, that weighs in favor of going back to NYC.

Follow your gut here - I am planning on leaving the DC area in the next couple of years because, despite being here for 14 years, it still does not feel like home. I think that feeling of home is so important and can really help you be happy overall.

Sorry all you PP but you didn't GROW up in NY. Maybe it's a nicer place to move to as an adult than DC or Florida or whatever, but I'm talking about OP's kids and growing up there.

I also went to college in NY and lived there as a twenty something and had a blast, but yeah, NY (and the surrounding areas) are super competitive tough places to grow up.

Lived in NYC for 5 years before moving to DC. I think your pros and cons are pretty spot on, and as other posters have mentioned, I'd say on the whole, NYC can be a friendlier, more accepting, place to live. However, the buying a house issue on your cons list can be a biggie. We knew we just couldn't afford to stay within striking distance of the city and still have a yard. If this is a goal, I'd say you would do better staying in DC. If you don't mind the condo life for well, life, go where you think you, your DH and your DC will all find a path towards happiness. Good luck!

Anonymous wrote:I lived in NYC for nearly a decade and totally agree that people are much, much nicer there than in DC. I can't believe how rude people are here. When I try to explain the difference to people, they roll their eyes. Here, you are judged for everything, including the shirt on your back. There no one cares. At all.
Move back to NYC if you can live a comparable lifestyle. It's worth it so your kids don't get used to the entitled pricks in the elite hoods of the DMV.

As a DC native married to a relocated former NYC resident, I beg to differ. First his family took your position, but guess what? They are all here now.

Look to the future, OP: every indicator shows that people and businesses are relocating away from NY state and NYC -- not just here but to California, Florida and Texas, too. Rude? I have never experienced the overt NYC levels nastiness in DC my entire life! Total strangers can come up to me (or any other stroller mom in DC) and ask for directions in perfect confidence of their safety. What kind of reaction did I get in NYC when I did that? Not exactly warmth.