Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not AA so I never thought of the reason you gave for not changing your name. (I did not change my name). But an AA colleague of mine said the same thing-- she wanted the same name as her child, which would likely be her husband's name.

This. AA woman here. I wanted the same last name as my chidren so I changed my name when oldest was born.

Same here!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After children some women change their names legally for paperwork, travel, use in school situations, etc, but keep their maiden professionally

I didn't change my name until kids came into the picture. My DH was insistent that the kids birth certificates have my name match his.

well, your DH could have adopted your name if it was so important.

Anonymous wrote:I know a number of AA moms who kept their maiden name including myself. I didn't want the hassle of changing, felt I was a person in my own right, and was used to my own name.

Wait, taking your husband's name makes you less of person in your own right? What an interesting and completely WRONG idea.

Anonymous wrote:. I know it's probably silly, but is this something you assume when you see an AA mother/child with last names don't match?

Honestly, yes. Just look at the statistics for how many AA children are born out of wedlock. I don't know why people in this thread are screaming racism.

But I'm a prude. I'd guess most people don't care if your child was born out of wedlock or not.

I know a number of AA moms who kept their maiden name including myself. I didn't want the hassle of changing, felt I was a person in my own right, and was used to my own name. I had also established a name for myself in my profession that included my maiden name before I got married. My first husband is deceased and I'm about to remarry. I will again keep my maiden name.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm AA, and kept my name. I was already a lawyer when we got married, and just didn't want to change. Our baby is due soon, so I just now added his name to mine after three years. No hyphen. People always throw in a hyphen lol.

2 last names or did you make your maiden your middle name?

NP, I did the exact same thing as PPP. I have two last names and no hyphen. People like to throw in the hyphen and I have them toss it out. The last name on all my plane tickets is hilarious because it looks like one long Eastern European name.

Anonymous wrote:I'm AA, and kept my name. I was already a lawyer when we got married, and just didn't want to change. Our baby is due soon, so I just now added his name to mine after three years. No hyphen. People always throw in a hyphen lol.

2 last names or did you make your maiden your middle name?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After children some women change their names legally for paperwork, travel, use in school situations, etc, but keep their maiden professionally

I didn't change my name until kids came into the picture. My DH was insistent that the kids birth certificates have my name match his.

But that only matter in some states. MD birth certificates use the mother's maiden name. So even if you are married when your child was born not all the names would "match". Just the child's last name and the father's last name would match. But even then you don't have to be married in MD in order to give your child the father's last name,

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm half AA and kept my name. I'd rather smoke out the people who make the assumptions and challenge them. Then again, I'm confrontational! But if someone explained how this might actually negatively affect my child I might reconsider.

This. They make movies and write books about how AA kids with unmarried moms made it out of the ghetto to attend Ivy League schools and have successful careers. Why would a married AA mom give a sh&!? For social status? Pathetic.

Melody Hobson is one such person (not sure about the ghetto part though).

My black friends all kept their last names when they married. All but one hyphenated their kids' last names.

I didn't change my name. My professional persona and official documents are in my maiden name.

I verbally use husband's last name at church and school for the reasons the OP stated.

I kept my name. And I do worry about people thinking I'm a single mom, but oh well. I usually just correct people that yes I'm married if they ask or verbally presume. I often use a hyphenated name also, even though I didn't legally hyphenate.

I'm AA, and kept my name. I was already a lawyer when we got married, and just didn't want to change. Our baby is due soon, so I just now added his name to mine after three years. No hyphen. People always throw in a hyphen lol.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm half AA and kept my name. I'd rather smoke out the people who make the assumptions and challenge them. Then again, I'm confrontational! But if someone explained how this might actually negatively affect my child I might reconsider.

This. They make movies and write books about how AA kids with unmarried moms made it out of the ghetto to attend Ivy League schools and have successful careers. Why would a married AA mom give a sh&!? For social status? Pathetic.

Yes, but movies and books are made about rare events...that's why they are interesting[b]. Everyday occurrences aren't usually made into movies.

Anonymous wrote:I'm half AA and kept my name. I'd rather smoke out the people who make the assumptions and challenge them. Then again, I'm confrontational! But if someone explained how this might actually negatively affect my child I might reconsider.

This. They make movies and write books about how AA kids with unmarried moms made it out of the ghetto to attend Ivy League schools and have successful careers. Why would a married AA mom give a sh&!? For social status? Pathetic.