Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say a rigorous high school education is essential, but I include parents in the equation (if the kid isn't self-motivated). You absolutely have to make sure that your child is prepared for the heavy work load and responsibilities that college presents. The amount of books that I had to read my freshman years was insane compared to what I read my last year of high school (and I was a prolific reader).

+1. I went to a rural high school and was utterly unprepared for college. No study skills whatsoever, because I had never had to make an effort. Very far behind the curve in science and math, even though I enjoy those subjects and was considered talented at my high school. Almost failed out of college my freshman year. Eventually I caught up, but it is depressing to think of the classes I was unable to take because of my unpreparedness, and how much more enjoyable my college years would have been if I had been more academically prepared.

To this day, my parents think my high school was excellent and are completely in denial about this. My mother always tried to encourage me as a woman in math and science, but she is totally in denial that her choice to live in a rural area meant that many opportunities were foreclosed to me.

Yes, my two nieces went to lower rated schools a couple hours from this area and both are struggling at average state schools. They both were caught off guard by just how unprepared they really were because they had done well in high school and were at the top of their class but it seems in they were at the top of a group of kids who were just barely doing average work. My sister has also pressed my nieces to peruse STEM related degrees but both nieces barely made it through the basic science college courses.

No. I went to a terrible high school & Yale. Family culture & natural intelligence + work ethic trump all IMHO.

Anonymous wrote:I went to an extremely crappy rural high school and went on to graduate with highest distinction at U.Va. and went to an ivy league law school, where I also did very well. It was helpful that I took an honors English comp class and a couple other (less helpful) college classes at my local nonselective state university while I was in high school. My best friend from the crappy high school went to a selective small liberal arts college and got a master's degree at an ivy league. He had more of an adjustment process when he got to college, but managed. I had my own bumps in the road transitioning to college, but for better or for worse, my problems were social, not academic.

Me again; I will add that I didn't take much hard science in college, so can't really speak to whether it would have been harder to overcome that deficit, but fwiw, I did take biology for science majors my first year, and it was really hard and I thought maybe I would fail, but in the end I got an A (and was surprised!). But after that I stuck with science for nonmajors, so who knows. Nevertheless in my experience smart kids who have sought out enrichment (and have educated supportive parents) can absolutely overcome crappy high school educations. Though I still have some embarrassing deficits in basic historical and geographical knowledge that I blame on my high school.

I went to an extremely crappy rural high school and went on to graduate with highest distinction at U.Va. and went to an ivy league law school, where I also did very well. It was helpful that I took an honors English comp class and a couple other (less helpful) college classes at my local nonselective state university while I was in high school. My best friend from the crappy high school went to a selective small liberal arts college and got a master's degree at an ivy league. He had more of an adjustment process when he got to college, but managed. I had my own bumps in the road transitioning to college, but for better or for worse, my problems were social, not academic.

Rigorous is fine, but to the extent that it burns someone out (which happens more than you know) - it is horrible.

My sister gradated from a top high school with high honors, but could not cut it in a top college because of burn out. She has never been the same, and it is sad to see her regretting so much at such a young age. I don't know how to explain it, other than burn out. She was well prepared, but very much over it.

From your explanation, I like the private idea, OP, if you can swing the cost of it.

Yes. YES, except for a few outliers and the inflated anecdotal scenarios described in this thread.

Anonymous wrote:I need to define my beliefs about my kids education.

I had the opportunity to decide between two high schools for my son and daughter. The 1st is a public ranked 1st in our state and within the top 50 in the country. The second choice is one of the top three privates in our city. We are not in the DMV.

The public school is more academically rigorous but I feel like the kids don't need that level of courseload in order to be successful in life. I don't want them to burn out.

The private also offers an excellent education but with more support from counselors and better amenities.

I have accepted admission to the private school but Im wondering if Im being naive by thinking that a well rounded high school education is equal to an extremely rigorous high school education, in terms of overall success in college and beyond.

My kids are smart capable children and would fine in either school. I guess Im the opposite of a tiger mom. What are the lifelong benefits of an extremely academically rigorous high school?

I am of the opinion that kids do not need to go to a top high school. But, you want them to go to the appropriately challenging high school. It is about the opportunities the school provides. The class work (AP/IB), and other stuff. Plus, the cohorts of students...what to they do.

We are faced with a similar question: my DD is one of the top students in Science at her FCPS AAP middle school. The teacher was surprised that we are not really thinking of having her apply for TJHSST -- but we have our reasons, and it is mostly about the way she learns. She gets very frustrated while learning, until things get easy (when she gets it). This is across the board. Plus, the base school -- top 100 in most recent US News reports -- is walking distance from our house. That will save 2 hrs a day commute time.

Finally, I know, from personal experience that there are many on-ramps to success in this country. I did not get into a top college initially, but transferred to a good school, and did grad school at a top school. I am now one of the top people in my field (globally).

If your child will thrive at a rigorous school then pick that one. College is quite a step up from HS and a kid who has learned how to buckle down and be efficient at studying will succeed from the start. Also don't overlook the value of AP's. My freshman is a sophomore and by the end of her first year will be a junior. She is taking linear algebra and differential equations (senior level math) as a first year student. You would think she is ahead except there are many freshmen doing the same, so really, she's just not behind.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say a rigorous high school education is essential, but I include parents in the equation (if the kid isn't self-motivated). You absolutely have to make sure that your child is prepared for the heavy work load and responsibilities that college presents. The amount of books that I had to read my freshman years was insane compared to what I read my last year of high school (and I was a prolific reader).

+1. I went to a rural high school and was utterly unprepared for college. No study skills whatsoever, because I had never had to make an effort. Very far behind the curve in science and math, even though I enjoy those subjects and was considered talented at my high school. Almost failed out of college my freshman year. Eventually I caught up, but it is depressing to think of the classes I was unable to take because of my unpreparedness, and how much more enjoyable my college years would have been if I had been more academically prepared.

To this day, my parents think my high school was excellent and are completely in denial about this. My mother always tried to encourage me as a woman in math and science, but she is totally in denial that her choice to live in a rural area meant that many opportunities were foreclosed to me.

I worry about my nephew--his rural HS is so small they don't offer ANY foreign languages. He's at the top of his class and interested in pre-med; I'm hoping that wherever he ends up for college will be someplace where he can get the resources he needs to catch up with kids from better high schools. And his parents would be perfectly happy if he stayed at home and went to community college.