Anonymous wrote:You say he's happy with your oral-sex sex life. You may just have to live with how things are now. I cannot imagine pressuring someone into having surgery just because you'd prefer to have sex a different way. It would be like a DH pressuring his wife to get surgery so she'd be tighter, or so she'd have bigger breasts or something.
I know its a bummer. Frankly my DH has lost the ability to sustain an erection enough for intercourse most of the time and we end up mostly having oral sex, which works for him. I could pressure him to take pills or whatever, but he does not want to. I don't think he would pressure me to do various medical things for him so I don't pressure him and as long as he can do other things I enjoy, I just leave it alone. Not everything in life is exactly as one wishes. And my impression is that men's ability to do the deed diminishes as they age, so branching out into other forms of love-making might be inevitable anyway.
If, however, he just doesn't to it for you sexually, then that is a different issue....like if he is not attentive to your enjoyment in other ways, that would be a problem. Personally, though, I would be really annoyed if my spouse was trying to pressure me to have a surgery I did not want.
The husband also stands to gain from the procedure. If it improves sex he gets to have better sex. If it doesn't he can continue his oral only life.