Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's 12 people. She can stand in front of a movie theater alone. She can make short walks to the store to pick something up. She can be outside alone. You do not need to constantly fear a12 year old being kidnapped. This is the way you fail to teach confidence and competence.

It would have been polite to ask if her mom was on the way and for all you know the mom did ask. But thats not a safety issue.

I'm pretty shocked by the paranoia here.

+1

+2

I would have waited just to be polite but I wouldn't have been upset that the other parent didn't wait. Maybe she had another kid to pick up somewhere or something. In any case, it's not like the OP's DD was endangered by the other mother not waiting.

Most of the time I would have waited, but I could imagine circumstances where I would have left (e.g., if I had another child to pick up elsewhere at the same time, and waiting you to arrive for your child might mean my child is hanging out alone somewhere).

If I trust a kid enough to let her go to a movie by herself, I trust her enough to wait for her parents pick her up.

No, cell phones don't prevent all harm. But how did waiting outside a few minutes to be picked up become a situation of likely peril?

I would have waited, and always waited. Phone can go dead, parents could have a flat tire, etc.

I would have waited, not so much out of paranoia but more as courtesy. Its a public place, she had a phone, and the risk of "horrible things" would be very low, IMO. But if something happened to the parents and they couldn't pick her up for half an hour or more, I would have offered a ride home. At least that's what I'd hope other parents would have done for my kid.

I've coached my kids in sports and I always waited until the other kids were picked up or confirmed their parents were coming. There were a few times the parents miscommunicated on who would do the pick up and the kid would have been stranded for a little while. So I offered the ride home and communicated it to the parents.

I don't know- its more politeness than anything.

I would have waited.

Anonymous wrote:She's 12 people. She can stand in front of a movie theater alone. She can make short walks to the store to pick something up. She can be outside alone. You do not need to constantly fear a12 year old being kidnapped. This is the way you fail to teach confidence and competence.

It would have been polite to ask if her mom was on the way and for all you know the mom did ask. But thats not a safety issue.

I'm pretty shocked by the paranoia here.

+1

Anonymous wrote:I'm 42 now. One thing that has always stuck with me was when I was in middle school at a school dance. My mom arrived to pick me up but I was with my friend and her mom wasn't there yet. My mom waited with us for her mom. I guess that ingrained upon me that is what you're supposed to do. So yes, I would have waited with your daughter.

Phones are great but it doesn't always mean that the receiving end picks up or if something should happen to the child that she would be able to make the call.

I would have waited as well, taking it as a good opportunity to chat if nothing else. "So, tell me about the movie..."

I would wait. I have waited. I coached girls sports...softball. It was grilled into me to 1) make sure every kid has a parent taking them home, and 2) keep an eye out for people that "don't belong". As a male, I also tried to make sure that there was another parent -- a mother -- present at all practices (sometimes, kids had to go to the bathroom, at least from K-4; after that, it was less of an issue).

I once came to my practice, and found a 4th grader from another team waiting for her parent alone. I called her parent, and found out that there was an emergency (other kid cut the hand; she had texted the other coach, but did not see it). For that practice, she was on my team.

My point is, you don't know what is going on -- why they are late. When I had my heart issue during a stress test (not attack, but angina followed by syncope and an flat lining ), I missed picking my daughter up at middle school. I was not able to get the message to her (they were funny about using the phone after reviving me). A nurse called the school, and someone from the school drove her the one mile to the hospital (where my wife was also coming).

Life happens...never leave anyone alone waiting for someone else unless you know they are just running late.

I wouldn't have waited.

Anonymous wrote:I dropped DD (7th grade but not 13 until June) at the movies to see Cinderella with a friend. I made sure they hooked up before I drove away.
I was in the parking lot reading when the movie let out but was reading a book. When I looked at the theater, DD was standing there by herself looking at her phone. Her friend had already been picked up as they probably parked at the curb instead of in a spot like me, and they drove away.

I was kind of surprised that they (the parents) didn't make sure my DD was picked up or at least confirmed I was on my way.

Miss-communication happens at this age when young teens are starting to plan going out only with friends.

I would have waited until the friend (even though she had a phone) touched base with her parents before driving away.... or am I too much of a helicopter?

Sounds like she was already dropped off since you waited until your DD found her to leave. The mom was already gone. She is okay with leaving her teen daughter so in her mind she is fine with your daughter being alone for a short while. You are talking about a public well lit area, not a dark alley.

And people panicking about kidnappers and what could happen. It is a movie theater. give.me.a.break. What will they do, pull up, jump out and snatch her, put her in the car and drive off?? When I was that age, we were off on our own all the time at the mall, movies, neighborhood etc... Mostly with friends but alone too. No big deal.

I would have waited. But, for me, the age isn't the biggest factor. It think it's polite. I have a friend who doesn't drive and when I drop her off at home, I don't pull away from her home until I see she's unlocked the front door and is walking into her home. When I was younger/single, my girlfriends and I would call each other when we got home, just to make sure we got home.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, it's going to be a long teenage road, if this bothers you enough to ask here.

Relax, Sis. Put down the mommy hackles. Just gathering opinions. Isn't that the purpose of this forum?

I certainly hope you don't respond that way when your 3rd grader asks to confirm 7x6 = 42 on her math homework and you respond with, "If you have to ask that as a 9 year old, doing math is going to be one, long road."

Not PP but really bad analogy.

Anonymous wrote:OP, it's going to be a long teenage road, if this bothers you enough to ask here.

Relax, Sis. Put down the mommy hackles. Just gathering opinions. Isn't that the purpose of this forum?

I certainly hope you don't respond that way when your 3rd grader asks to confirm 7x6 = 42 on her math homework and you respond with, "If you have to ask that as a 9 year old, doing math is going to be one, long road."

At that age I would have waited as well - unless I knew the girl and her parents well enough to know that for her to wait a few minutes by herself isn't a big deal to her and her parents