For what it's worth, when I was in high school I thought for sure that I would join a fraternity. Partly because some of the people that I hung out with in high school were typical frat boy types.

But once I went into college and started to hang out with different groups, realized that it wasn't really necessary.

Some of the people in college mentioned how fraternities is just a way to "buy" into friends or whatever and I bought into at the time. But I'm sure the network of the alumni makes it worth it.

And as another poster mentioned, it's a whole different thing in the south. Where having family members from the south, it's my impression that greek life is a common thing down there. Just like they have some traditions that they do in high school that carries over to greek life. Can't remember the details and don't want to spread any misinformation. But I think it had to do with some balls and dances.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, as we used to say -- if you can't make friends, I guess you can buy them (by paying dues and joining a sorority).

Seems flaky and weird to me, but I'm from the NE -- I hear that sororities are sort of de rigueur for southerners?

Breathe. You sound bitter.

Sorry folks, joining a sorority today is a recipe for rape and pillage. Jus read about what's going on in today's colleges what with excessive drinking. Won't mention the one school where the charges were disproved but the drinking aspect associated with the charge was not.

The girl in that alleged story wasn't in a sorority. The drinking is going to happen whether or not ops daughter joins a sorority.

My DD joined a sorority. I not only did not, but specifically selected a college that didn't have Greek life. But my DD is her own person, this is something that was very important to her, and just because it wasn't my thing doesn't mean I would discourage her. She's found it to be a great experience, and her sisters have been a good source of support.

+1000 Same here. I was never interested, but my DD was - and LOVED the experience.
And, so far as rape and pillage...... the thing with sororities.... if the girls do go to parties and decide to drink, they stay together. The go together, and leave together. At least, that was my DD’s experience. From what I have read, it is the “solo” party-goer who is more susceptible to be a victim.

Anonymous wrote:

And I hate that schools allow rush to happen the first semester of freshman year.

When I went to school our rush was in the spring and now it's sophomore year. Not all schools are like this.

Most of the schools my DD looked at had delayed rush too. It's pretty common at smaller colleges, less so at big state schools although UVA has spring rush for frats.

And I hate that schools allow rush to happen the first semester of freshman year.

When I went to school our rush was in the spring and now it's sophomore year. Not all schools are like this.

Meh...I'm not a fan. And I hate that schools allow rush to happen the first semester of freshman year. Kids are just stepping onto campus and instead of being given time to find their own way and their own friends, they get swept up in greek life and never get a chance to just breath for a minute and adjust to college life.

That being said, if my daughter wanted to rush, I wouldn't object as long as she paid for it. I'll be covering the tuition, room, and board. The thousands extra that comes with paying into sorority life can come from her pocket. I don't support sorority life enough to be willing to cover the costs. Might not seem so glamorous to your daughter once she finds out how much dues are...

Anonymous wrote:I loved it. My bonds with some of those women are still strong decades later. Of course much depends on the particular chapter and even on the national organization, but it can be a terrific growth experience for girls.

As long as you are picked.

I loved it. My bonds with some of those women are still strong decades later. Of course much depends on the particular chapter and even on the national organization, but it can be a terrific growth experience for girls.

I will absolutely encourage my daughter to join a sorority. It was one of the best things I ever did. I'll be sad if she chooses not to rush.

I was in a sorority and I wholeheartedly agree that the sorority landscape is much different than a fraternity. Sororities also have different general personalities and the women in each chapter are different. My sorority was full of smart, fun women who had a lot of leadership roles on campus, a lot of sisters who made very good grades and excelled. There was no hazing, drug abuse, or bullying. Our chapter had a great reputation for being well-rounded and I was always proud to say what sorority I was in, either to other students or alumni or anyone else. Students usually thought of it as a "cool" sorority and alumni and staff usually recognized it as a smart group.

That said, I didn't love the the fraternity scene and avoided it because my boyfriend was not Greek. And, I grew weary of tedious meetings as an upperclassman when I had a lot of better things to do. I would neither encourage my daughter nor forbid her to join one; I would urge her to pick the college that feels right in terms of campus and academics and take it from there if she is curious or if there is a chapter that especially appeals to her.

+1000

I joined a sorority in the early '80s in the South. It was never my intention to join; instead, I was just going to go through rush. But I ended up finding a great match for myself. Rush is a bit like going through a job interview, so those complaining about exclusivity don't ever go through job interviews?

Anyway, more than 30 years later, I am STILL involved with my sorority. Every city I've moved to has had a strong local alumnae group, so I've had an immediate network wherever I've gone to help me find good schools, doctors, lawyers, parks, etc. And some of pledge sisters remain some of my best friends. I actually had a situation where I needed a lawyer in another city, and put out the word, and it was handled totally non gratis. There's power in an international network.

Like anything, you have to choose your group wisely. Style over substance. We had beauty queen / MRS. types -- and also those who are now doctors, lawyers, journalists, scientists, business majors, etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, as we used to say -- if you can't make friends, I guess you can buy them (by paying dues and joining a sorority).

Seems flaky and weird to me, but I'm from the NE -- I hear that sororities are sort of de rigueur for southerners?

Breathe. You sound bitter.

Sorry folks, joining a sorority today is a recipe for rape and pillage. Jus read about what's going on in today's colleges what with excessive drinking. Won't mention the one school where the charges were disproved but the drinking aspect associated with the charge was not.

The girl in that alleged story wasn't in a sorority. The drinking is going to happen whether or not ops daughter joins a sorority.

My DD joined a sorority. I not only did not, but specifically selected a college that didn't have Greek life. But my DD is her own person, this is something that was very important to her, and just because it wasn't my thing doesn't mean I would discourage her. She's found it to be a great experience, and her sisters have been a good source of support.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, as we used to say -- if you can't make friends, I guess you can buy them (by paying dues and joining a sorority).

Seems flaky and weird to me, but I'm from the NE -- I hear that sororities are sort of de rigueur for southerners?

Breathe. You sound bitter.

Sorry folks, joining a sorority today is a recipe for rape and pillage. Jus read about what's going on in today's colleges what with excessive drinking. Won't mention the one school where the charges were disproved but the drinking aspect associated with the charge was not.

Anonymous wrote:Well, as we used to say -- if you can't make friends, I guess you can buy them (by paying dues and joining a sorority).

Seems flaky and weird to me, but I'm from the NE -- I hear that sororities are sort of de rigueur for southerners?

Breathe. You sound bitter.

I was in one in college. I loved it and am still good friends with the women I met. However, in my experience, there is a lot of craziness that can go along with it. If my daughter had any tendency toward low self-esteem or an eating disorder, I would strongly object.