Anonymous wrote:If you don't like her responses, stop sharing news of your children's latest achievements, and stop asking her what she thinks about your haircut. It sounds like you are fishing for praise and perhaps she picks up on this and is annoyed by it.

It also sounds like you may be projecting your own jealousy and insecurity onto her.

We talk to the inlaws about weather, the grocery store, roadwork, only vague surface things, anything else is a recipe for disaster.

A lot of older women especially those that were successul or beautiful or both have a hard time getting older. They sometimes get bitter in their old age and are more transparent than they realize. Has anyone spoken to her about her behavior/negativity? Maybe the S doing this is a good idea, in the most gentle way possible.

While it may not change things it will make her at least aware of them next time she tries to start with a negative. My own MIL is a good person at heart but I have noticed over time increasingly negative behavior, hey getting old is not fun, I don't care how the commercials try to portray it haha.

But its also not an excuse to be rude, mean or negative all the time.

Chill out DCUMers! The OP has a legitimate issue and you are blaming her for being a stay-at-home mother? MIL has also said been critical of the grand kids. Please OP, is her attitude new or has she always been like this? Are there other family members that have had a similar experience with her? if all comments are directed to you, DH needs to step in and say something and you should limit your time with her and keep all conversations simple and easy topics.

Anonymous wrote:OMG I cannot believe how some are throwing it back on you. OF COURSE she is jealous, she sees you who knows possibly as a younger version of herself at one time. You are successful with successful kids, young, happy and doing well.

She s creeping up in the years, likely very vain and is projecting all of her increasing insecurities on you. I say grin and keep it cordial to maintain the peace but sounds like you and your H know exactly what she is all about, and I am sorry to tell you it only gets worse, so brace yourself. No offense but she sounds like an absolute bitch.

Clearly this is op pretending to be a new poster

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You seems to need so much validation.
Who cares that she didn't notice or comment on your hair, my hair is long and I have cut six inches off and people don't notice. Then, why oh why, would you mention your hair cut?
Are you five?

And you sound like a blabbering idiot.

I disagree. OP seems to really love to brag and certainly needs praise from others. She sounds insecure.

Anonymous wrote:You seems to need so much validation.
Who cares that she didn't notice or comment on your hair, my hair is long and I have cut six inches off and people don't notice. Then, why oh why, would you mention your hair cut?
Are you five?

And you sound like a blabbering idiot.

OMG I cannot believe how some are throwing it back on you. OF COURSE she is jealous, she sees you who knows possibly as a younger version of herself at one time. You are successful with successful kids, young, happy and doing well.

She s creeping up in the years, likely very vain and is projecting all of her increasing insecurities on you. I say grin and keep it cordial to maintain the peace but sounds like you and your H know exactly what she is all about, and I am sorry to tell you it only gets worse, so brace yourself. No offense but she sounds like an absolute bitch.

MY MIL isn't jealous, she's competitive. No matter what I say, she has to say the opposite (contrarianism) or disagree even if she sounds like an idiot doing it. There's just something wrong with her. I avoid her like the plaque and husband 100% supports me and kids (they hate her too) in avoidance.

If you don't like her responses, stop sharing news of your children's latest achievements, and stop asking her what she thinks about your haircut. It sounds like you are fishing for praise and perhaps she picks up on this and is annoyed by it.

It also sounds like you may be projecting your own jealousy and insecurity onto her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:you sound deranged.

I do? Really? How so?

Also forgot the clencher!!! I went back to school this past year for my masters. She did not think it was a good idea...never really stated why. The other night at dinner my husband brought up how proud he is of me, etc....and she said "whats the point really" I mean are you actually planning to work, x"? I said yes of course once the kids get older, I would love to go back and restart my career and her words verbatim were " Lets be honest, you married a rich man, will never have a money issue, you don't need to work for money and you and I both know that you are only doing this to prove that you can. I couldn't speak for a full five minutes. My H and I were floored.

How old do you need them to be? Isn't one already in college. Have you worked in 22 years? I think you are insecure and your upset because it sounds like MIL is "keeping it real".

OP, I agree that she is jealous and insecure. Maybe she can't be happy for anyone and is totally self centered.

My MIL natters on and on about herself and is genuinely disinterested in other people. Sometimes, she'll ask me something directly, but then not really listen to the answer.

Eventually, these relationships get more strained and one-sided.

I dont think these are minor things. She sounds jealous. ignore her!

Anonymous wrote:
This happens a lot with an older generation. They feel they did not have the opportunities this generation of women have had, add 40 years and mix...it becomes a very bitter drink.

MIL was a lawyer. She just doesn't like OP

That does not matter....maybe she was told to stay home with the kids, given bad assignments b/t she was a women etc.

You sound sane and she sounds off her rocker

You seems to need so much validation.
Who cares that she didn't notice or comment on your hair, my hair is long and I have cut six inches off and people don't notice. Then, why oh why, would you mention your hair cut?
Are you five?