Anonymous
Post 02/20/2015 09:49     Subject: Hand-me-down clothes with a "dig"?
Your kid is 1.5 and hers is 2.5 years old. You never know what size they will be is 5 years. You are barely ever going to see her. Just because your brothers were teased doesn't mean your son will, especially because he is in the 50th percentile rank. Just let it go.
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2015 09:48     Subject: Hand-me-down clothes with a "dig"?
Anonymous wrote:Getting a little off topic here... OP, I would tell her nicely that you don't need the clothes and ignore the rest - if she says something that offends you in person, address it, but he can't read the notes and it's not worth the drama.


+1
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2015 09:47     Subject: Hand-me-down clothes with a "dig"?
Anonymous wrote:I think your childhood experience is clouding your view.
You are over reacting.


+1

That being said, the next time she does this IN PERSON, I think you should say something to her about it. Or maybe over the phone. I would not put anything in writing.



Also, if she's petty and competitive, nothing will piss her off more than you smiling and ignoring the comments. I think if you react, you're giving her exactly what she wants.
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2015 09:45     Subject: Hand-me-down clothes with a "dig"?
If the clothes do not work just tell her 'thanks, but no thanks, they just never seem to fit, don't waste her time and postage'.
Stop looking for insults where some may not be intended.
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2015 09:45     Subject: Hand-me-down clothes with a "dig"?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think you're overreacting, unless she had a history of being rude and mean in general.

I have a long, 21-pound six month old who I call "Little X" as a term of affection.


Don't be obtuse. My 17 month old is only 20 pound and calling him "little" is indeed and insult. Can you not see the difference or do you just want to brag about how big your baby is?

Using the term little is a definite insult?
That is stupid
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2015 09:44     Subject: Hand-me-down clothes with a "dig"?
Anonymous wrote:SIL sends us hand-me-down (across the country) that her son has outgrown. Her DS is a year older than our DS and much, much bigger. My DS takes after my short family and has always been in the under the 50% percentile. Her DS takes after DH's family and is in the 90% percentile. Nice of her to go to the bother of sending clothes for my DS but...

Every box contains a note from her about how my DS probably will not be able to wear the clothes for another five years (with an added "ha-ha") or that she hopes the clothes are not out of style by the time DS can wear them. She has also started addressing card to my DS (only 1.5 so he can't read them) with "Little First Name". DS is not a Junior but a nickname for his name is apparently the name of a character on a 1960's TV show so is recognizable to those of our generation addicted to the TV Land channel.

DH doesn't think this is a big deal. He has always been tall. I am short and so are my brothers and I KNOW the teasing they lived through as kids so I am much more sensitive.

As I wrote, she lives on the other side of the country and we will rarely see her in person.

What, if anything, should I do or say to SIL? Am I over-reacting? TIA

Are you sure her comments are meant to be insulting? My cousin gets a lot of hand me downs from me, my kid is tall, hers are on the shorter said.
I give her stuff and say that it may not fit now...
As for the "little" such and such...are you talking about "Little Joe" on Bonanaza from the 60's...played by Michael Landon
You consider that a dig? You know your SIL so you are a better judge of her intentions...but you seem a bit sensitive to me
I say this as a person who tops out at 5 feet even.
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2015 09:43     Subject: Hand-me-down clothes with a "dig"?
Getting a little off topic here... OP, I would tell her nicely that you don't need the clothes and ignore the rest - if she says something that offends you in person, address it, but he can't read the notes and it's not worth the drama.
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2015 09:35     Subject: Hand-me-down clothes with a "dig"?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Maybe she's actually self-conscious about how large her own child is...


Not a boy. Never. Our society worships big boys and tiny, thin girls.


The genetics of that get pretty complicated -- like the tiny woman with the big DH -- sometimes you get tiny boys and big girls -- oops!
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2015 09:35     Subject: Hand-me-down clothes with a "dig"?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think you're overreacting, unless she had a history of being rude and mean in general.

I have a long, 21-pound six month old who I call "Little X" as a term of affection.


Don't be obtuse. My 17 month old is only 20 pound and calling him "little" is indeed and insult. Can you not see the difference or do you just want to brag about how big your baby is?


uhhh, i'm pretty sure you're the one being obtuse if you think calling your little baby little is an insult. my nearly 2.5yo just broke 20lbs. i call her little all the time! she's little!


He is not a baby and the insult is directed at his mother.

And calling a girl "little" is very different than calling a boy "little".
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2015 09:34     Subject: Hand-me-down clothes with a "dig"?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think you're overreacting, unless she had a history of being rude and mean in general.

I have a long, 21-pound six month old who I call "Little X" as a term of affection.


Don't be obtuse. My 17 month old is only 20 pound and calling him "little" is indeed and insult. Can you not see the difference or do you just want to brag about how big your baby is?


uhhh, i'm pretty sure you're the one being obtuse if you think calling your little baby little is an insult. my nearly 2.5yo just broke 20lbs. i call her little all the time! she's little!



SHE. Can you NOT see the difference in our society? Calling a boy "little" is an insult. Just like calling a girl "huge" is an insult.


Please - accept the term obtuse as the alternate term I have for you is much less polite.
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2015 09:31     Subject: Hand-me-down clothes with a "dig"?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think you're overreacting, unless she had a history of being rude and mean in general.

I have a long, 21-pound six month old who I call "Little X" as a term of affection.


Don't be obtuse. My 17 month old is only 20 pound and calling him "little" is indeed and insult. Can you not see the difference or do you just want to brag about how big your baby is?


uhhh, i'm pretty sure you're the one being obtuse if you think calling your little baby little is an insult. my nearly 2.5yo just broke 20lbs. i call her little all the time! she's little!
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2015 09:26     Subject: Hand-me-down clothes with a "dig"?
Anonymous wrote:Maybe she's actually self-conscious about how large her own child is...


Not a boy. Never. Our society worships big boys and tiny, thin girls.
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2015 09:25     Subject: Hand-me-down clothes with a "dig"?
Maybe she's actually self-conscious about how large her own child is...
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2015 09:25     Subject: Hand-me-down clothes with a "dig"?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think you're overreacting, unless she had a history of being rude and mean in general.

I have a long, 21-pound six month old who I call "Little X" as a term of affection.


Don't be obtuse. My 17 month old is only 20 pound and calling him "little" is indeed and insult. Can you not see the difference or do you just want to brag about how big your baby is?


I have a 37 pound nine year and and I call her little all the time. This is ridiculous.



Her. Can you not see the obvious difference?!
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2015 09:24     Subject: Hand-me-down clothes with a "dig"?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I just don't get the problem, and I'm a generally pretty sensitive, sometimes oversensitive person.

As I understand it, she send your son clothes -- which I would be thrilled about (albeit they may not be your taste) and a note directly to him, which says something like:

Hi Little Opie, I hope these clothes fit by the time you grow into them and they are not out of style! Love Aunt Marge.

WHAT IS THE BIG EFFIN DEAL?


8:10 again. It's a DCUM classic. Instead of being clear and direct, the aggrieved party takes to DCUM to fulminate about perceived slights. This is apparently most common in marriages; to read DCUM, you'd think no one has a mutually respectful, honest and direct relationship with their spouse.

OP can simply tell her SIL she doesn't want the clothes. But I bet she won't.



You are just a much better and smarter person than all of the rest of us poor slobs. You are so brilliant and self-assured that I am humbled to be in the company of such greatness. I hate to think of you wasting your time here so please fell free to stay off this site. I am ashamed to have wasted your time like this when you should be off curing cancer and enjoying your perfect children and husband. Please - for your sake - don't come back to DCUM.