Anonymous wrote:I almost married one and thank god all the time that I didn't.

You need someone you can count on, not someone who counts on mommy.

+1

ITA. I dated someone like this. He was at his mother's (and grandmother's) beck and call. No amount of money in the world was worth it. Besides, I have my own money (more inconspicuously than they). Run.

Dhmfa. My sister is married to a guy who always lets his mother be involved in every. Single. Discussion. In their house.

Seriously - she weighs in on everything from color of new sheets to type of socks to buy the baby (forcefully, not kindly). And her husband won't tell mom to butt out. And he expects my sister to take care of him the way his mother does. ANd they have three kids!!

She is planning her exit strategy.

Get out now! Unless you want to spend the rest of your life either playing mama to him, battling your MIL , or competing for this man to take "your side"
It' too draining.
You are too young for this. believe me when I say their are other men out there.
Family oriented nice guys exist and they also know how to maintain life as a competent adult.

Another -RUN. I was engaged to a mama's boy. She had keys to his place and would "sneak in" to do the laundry. But I digress. You're not dating him anyway, you're dating HER. When she stops liking you, it'll be all over and YOU become a problem.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a tough situation, OP. My DH is a major mama's boy and it caused a ton of issues early in our relationship. We had to set very clear boundaries (and revisit them often!), but it's finally working out now 15 years later. It is work though. Not impossible to overcome, but be aware.

I should add that it only works for us because DH values our relationship more and will take "my side" on things. It would not have worked if he sided with his mother.

OP here. Well, so far he always sides with me. He even continues to date me seriously even though his mother was disapproving of us initially. He didn't let her feelings deter his relationship with me.

Dump.

Anonymous wrote:It's a tough situation, OP. My DH is a major mama's boy and it caused a ton of issues early in our relationship. We had to set very clear boundaries (and revisit them often!), but it's finally working out now 15 years later. It is work though. Not impossible to overcome, but be aware.

I should add that it only works for us because DH values our relationship more and will take "my side" on things. It would not have worked if he sided with his mother.

It's a tough situation, OP. My DH is a major mama's boy and it caused a ton of issues early in our relationship. We had to set very clear boundaries (and revisit them often!), but it's finally working out now 15 years later. It is work though. Not impossible to overcome, but be aware.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ah the quintessential man-child. He needs to mature a bit more before he's ready for a relationship. Think cheez-it's commercials. At this rate your role would be to replace or work along side mommy. Trust me you do not want this.

OP here. His mom is also texting him all the time and grills him about every little detail or decision in his life. He doesn't even seem to realize this isn't a problem...

This is above and beyond. Do not continue this relationship. It will lead to heartbreak for you.

Anonymous wrote:the more i am getting to know my bf the more i realize he is a mama's boy. he is a really great guy and treats his family really well but i'm beginning to notice that his mother has almost too strong a grip on him. he is 27 but she still buys him clothes, schedules his haircuts and dentist appointments. when he was getting a new apartment, he even went to see the place with his mother.

i really like him and we have talked about getting serious...its just in the back of my hear, i wonder if she will spell trouble for us down the line. have you had any experience marrying a mama's boy? how is it going?

I don't see a problem with the bolded example. I would want someone older and more experienced concerning life advising me on such a matter. An apartment - whether you rent or you buy - is a big deal.

The remaining examples would give me pause but only because if he's used to having someone do that for him, he might expect you to take over that role as you get more serious in your relationship / get married. I wouldn't want that load on me.

Run, unless you want for the rest of your life to have another child. I am in a marriage like that. Only after 15 years of marriage my dh started scheduling his appointments for himself, and this year he even scheduled a teeth cleaning appointment for our kids ( god answered my prayers). If you love him a lot and willing to carrie this burden -- then go for it. But don't expect that he will change for you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Run! Seriously run! Your heart is telling you something. Listen to it!

Going through a divorce now. We really loved each other but it was never enough with his parents in between.

Do you have kids together?

Yes. Too much pain. Too much resentment. I don't want to spend anytime time with his family as they are horrible to me. He misses his family which is totally understandable, it's his family. I just can't. He chose to believe them and they all blamed me.
My dh is now trying to fix things but it's too late. Too much resentment on all sides.

Yes it will be hard on the kids but honestly I rather have the see happy parents. I just can't live like this anymore.
It's really sad actually. We loved each other or so I thought like no other. We were the happy couple and never fought. Our only disagreements were about the way his family would treat me.

So yes we loved each other deeply and I always will but the dominant controlling family will never change.

Anonymous wrote:As the mother of an only child boy, whom I love more than anything ... oh, please let me not be that kind of mother!!!!!

My son is only 7 months old and I do have an older daughter, but I was thinking the same thing!

Yeah I would leave and tell him exactly why. "I like you a lot, but I can't respect when your mother makes all your dentists appointments and schedules."

My guess is your bf's mother is probably the type to still zip his fly for him.

Run.