OP you sound controlling and SIL doesn't know how to deal with it. You sound like many of the women on DCUM who would like to x out DH family. Why are you so passive aggressive. Pick up the phone and talk to her and be normal.

Op, you decide on how/when you respond

No magic will change her.

"Susan, thanks for all the interest in Larla's birthday! I will certainly let you know when the party is, but as it's 4 months away I am not focusing on it at the moment."

You are a saint for merely finding this annoying!

BTDT, this totally sounds like my in-laws. I did the whole avoidance thing (not responding to Facebook messages that weren't substantive, responding to texts with a thanks or yes or whatever, occasional texts with pictures of my kids, etc). It doesn't work, and frankly made them even more worked up, to the point that they started sending me aggressive emails/texts asking me why I was so cold etc etc.

The only way I've been able to deal with it is to set my boundaries and let the fall-out happen as it will. You can only do so much, and you probably just have to tell her that if she keeps texting you so much, you won't always be able to get back to her. Then do it. I also enlisted my MIL to help talk down her kids- she's part of the problem but at least now I really only have to deal with her and not all her kids too. Your SIL trying to force you into a relationship you don't want, so you have to show her what kind of relationship you're WILLING to have, then stick with it. If she can't live with that, well then, that's just too bad.

Good luck- it's a terrible position to be in, and extremely stressful.

She just sounds like an anxious old lady. I'd have DH deal w her a little more instead. People like this need to be shared.

Anonymous wrote:OP again: I know this is an old old thread but SIL is at it again - she just bought a gift for DD's birthday which is is in DECEMBER. I have had over 20 texts about the gift. About how many boxes it is coming in (to her place) and how she will transport it to our house.

I am fed up!

I don't actually think she is being nice - I think she has heard that my brother got my children an experience gift this summer that was really great - wasn;t a bday present, was just because he was in town and they loved it. I think she wants to be as "good" as him. I don;t know, I'm just frustrated, I'm answering only every 10th text, The last 3 were about when i'm planning her party. and if i will have one (this is a panic "are you even having a birthday party for her?? when?? will i even be invited?')

"So busy these day so I can't even think about Guinevere's birthday, but I'll let you know when a plan is in place. Really."

OP again: I know this is an old old thread but SIL is at it again - she just bought a gift for DD's birthday which is is in DECEMBER. I have had over 20 texts about the gift. About how many boxes it is coming in (to her place) and how she will transport it to our house.

I am fed up!

I don't actually think she is being nice - I think she has heard that my brother got my children an experience gift this summer that was really great - wasn;t a bday present, was just because he was in town and they loved it. I think she wants to be as "good" as him. I don;t know, I'm just frustrated, I'm answering only every 10th text, The last 3 were about when i'm planning her party. and if i will have one (this is a panic "are you even having a birthday party for her?? when?? will i even be invited?')

This totally sounds like my SIL. She is married but also has no kids or pets. Seriously she also asks constantly if we got/opened the gift etc.... I just wish she could understand how busy out day is and I don't have time to give her updates on th status of her gifts everyday!