Both my grandmothers died before I was born, so I don't even know what that's like. Hell, my own mom died when I was a teenager.

OP, can your mom be my mom and grandmother? I'd appreciate the shit out of her.

I think I can win this one - my MIL ALREADY has a kids room set up for TWO kids complete with stuffed animals, kiddie decor, a little bathroom stepstool etc.

My husband is her only child.

We have no kids

Remember the various scenarios written by DCUMers about how awful their mothers were but several people called them out about their behavior.. because they were looking for problems and seeing problems everywhere with their mothers when there were none? There was this one poster who criticized the response of a therapist because "at least my therapist let's me get their on my own...". This has got to be OP.

If your mother has a history of crossing boundaries, then, yes, my sympathy's with you, OP. If not, why isn't this a wonderful, heartwarming gesture?

My mother manipulated and managed every aspect of my life, and decorated my body with bruises and cuts through my college years until I left home. Now I'm an adult, she expresses herself differently, which means dropping any connection with my immediate family and me, and manipulating other family members into doing the same. Interesting either-or dynamic. Maybe we can trade mothers? You might like my mother's current hands-off approach.

My MIL has one room as her house decorated for the kids. They love it. She does not ever overstep at all. I have zero fear of her kidnapping them. This is not about the room.

My mother did this and my daughter loves it. Sad for you, your mother and your kids op, you look for problems where there are none.

Anonymous wrote:My parents did this. The Girls love having their own room at their grandparents. I don't think there's a better way to make someone feel like they belong or are always welcome.

Same here. My old room is now my daughter's room and my brother's room my son's room.

Anonymous wrote:My mother is watching DD tomorrow at her house for a few hours while I have to take an exam. I asked her about a week ago if she was available, and haven't really heard from her since other than normal stuff.

I just found out that she has turned my brother's old bedroom into a bedroom for DD. More than a play room, it is almost like she set up a complete bedroom like DD lives there, complete with new furniture and toys.

If this wasn't my mother I would think she was going to kidnap DD and try to pass her off as her own. Sigh... another day in my life.

I'm a grandmother, and my husband and I have done the same. So have most of our friends. We live in the same city, and our granddaughters have loved spending the night with us and playing in their special room! It has books, fun toys (quite a few are Fisher Price toys in great shape that we saved from when our kids were small), an art table, and stuffed animals and a couple of dolls we've picked out together. It's a joy for us when they come over---and we have no kidnapping plans!

Op, my mom has severe boundary issues too so I get how freaked out this can make you.

Anonymous wrote:My parents did this. The Girls love having their own room at their grandparents. I don't think there's a better way to make someone feel like they belong or are always welcome.

+100

My mother-in-law, mother and step-mother have all done this, and my daughter only sees them between once a month and once a year. Moreover, none of them talk to each other; they each did it independently. They like thinking about her though, and she loves having a special place when visiting that has some unique toys. We aren't a particularly close family, and I didn't get even one offer to take her overnight until she was five. I think this is a pretty normal thing for grandparents to do.

Anonymous wrote:Time for coffee, Lorelai!

Amen!

Anonymous wrote:I don't know what that bothers you. My parents have a room for DS at their apt. Other visitors could stay in it, theoretically, but it has a twin bed and toy chest and has "kid" décor. I feel certain they are not going to kidnap him.

+1

No kidding - and its an apartment! MIL are you reading this?!

OP has issues.

Anonymous wrote:I don't know what that bothers you. My parents have a room for DS at their apt. Other visitors could stay in it, theoretically, but it has a twin bed and toy chest and has "kid" décor. I feel certain they are not going to kidnap him.

+1

No kidding - and its an apartment! MIL are you reading this?!

OP has issues.

Anonymous wrote:I bet your daughter will be excited! What a wonderful grandma

No kidding. MIL has five empty bedrooms filled with crap, lives 5 minutes away, and has never once asked our children to sleep over. This includes when we have storms and no power, in the coldest or warmest days of the year. Or when I am giving birth, having major surgery, and no food for the children. So yeah, there's that.

OP, you need to 1.) get out more and 2.) grow the hell up.

Are you just looking for something to complain about? Because if so, I will happily introduce you to said MIL. You would get along famously. Holy crap.

Your mum sounds like a remarkable human being, and an amazing, world class grandmother. If you don't appreciate her, I will gladly give you my number, so our children can have a proper grandparent.