Anonymous
Post 02/13/2015 14:24     Subject: A situation with my son going on vacation with his friend and family
If the original plane ticket was non refundable, you will use that $$ if you cancel. Since the OP hasn't responded... perhaps the ski resort is a few HOURS from the airport? If so, it would make sense that Dad can't get to the airport a day ahead of the family. Your kid, your decision. I would probably make it happen, but would be cautious if another trip ever came up.
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2015 14:16     Subject: A situation with my son going on vacation with his friend and family
Anonymous wrote:Have you checked out other flight options? Your husband is being silly if he thinks a 16 year old can't fly alone. I understand not wanting him to be in a hotel for another 24 hours alone, but if he could take a flight earlier or later on the same day on another airline, etc. you might have luck. And if DH vetoes that option, then apparently it is worth $1000 to him for your 16yo to have adult supervision while flying.

I totally agree that this parent is out of line. How did you respond to the other mom? At the very least, I would say, "Mrs. Richyrich, this flight change is more than double our whole budget for this trip, so it is a significant hardship for us, and we would never have agreed to this trip if the original flight cost was so high. Are there any other options available, including allowing the boys to stay an additional day together?"


While I agree that the other family is behaving badly here, they are also being extremely generous. What they are paying to take their son's friend on this trip far outweighs the extra expense of the return flight. I can't imagine chewing out someone who is doing something generous for my son. Yes, I would be angry, annoyed, all of that. But they don;t owe him anything else and pissing them off will just ensure that they won't encourage this friendship any more.
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2015 14:15     Subject: Re:A situation with my son going on vacation with his friend and family
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
my husband is not comfortable with him flying back on his own, it would mean him staying an extra day on his own which will not work. The family needs to be back a day early because of a closing her husband is involved in. I understand things come up. So happens that day is a very busy travel day and there are no more coach tickets, just first class.


Well, then your other choice is to cancel or pay for the most expensive flight. It really seems like it would not be the end of the world for him to stay one more day alone and get on his original flight, since he is 16 years old, but if you don't feel comfortable with that, then you have to do one of the other two.


Hotels do not allow 16 year olds to stay in rooms alone. Not to mention I would allow my 16 year old to stay overnight in a distant city alone that is preposterous and from a safety standpoint a very bad suggestion/idea all the way around.


It's possible. I've done it for DC.
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2015 14:10     Subject: A situation with my son going on vacation with his friend and family
I meant would NOT allow my 16 year old^
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2015 14:09     Subject: Re:A situation with my son going on vacation with his friend and family
Anonymous wrote:
my husband is not comfortable with him flying back on his own, it would mean him staying an extra day on his own which will not work. The family needs to be back a day early because of a closing her husband is involved in. I understand things come up. So happens that day is a very busy travel day and there are no more coach tickets, just first class.


Well, then your other choice is to cancel or pay for the most expensive flight. It really seems like it would not be the end of the world for him to stay one more day alone and get on his original flight, since he is 16 years old, but if you don't feel comfortable with that, then you have to do one of the other two.


Hotels do not allow 16 year olds to stay in rooms alone. Not to mention I would allow my 16 year old to stay overnight in a distant city alone that is preposterous and from a safety standpoint a very bad suggestion/idea all the way around.
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2015 14:05     Subject: Re:A situation with my son going on vacation with his friend and family
Anonymous wrote:Rich friends rich lifestyle. Since you have already admitted you will let him go, I don't understand why you even posted this unless it was to brag.


Someone sounds unhappy bitter and jealous. I think she was asking so that she would know if she was justified in how she was reacting to the situation, give her a break.

I say let him go and let him have a good time. You aren't having to pay for any other expenses so you are getting off cheap, really. Lift tickets out west are $$$. He will forever remember flying first class......let him enjoy it and be grateful you can do it.
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2015 13:41     Subject: Re:A situation with my son going on vacation with his friend and family
Anonymous wrote:Rich friends rich lifestyle. Since you have already admitted you will let him go, I don't understand why you even posted this unless it was to brag.


+1

Honestly, I'm shocked by this thread. Very rarely do I see an attitude on DCUM that is absolutely foreign to me, but I see it on this thread.

I would cancel the trip, no question. Sorry, DS, but we aren't rich. I've hung out with rich kids before and gotten stiffed. I've learned from that. There is no way I would pay an extra $1k for a last-minute flight change for something like this. It's both inconsiderate of the host family and indicative of their wealth.
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2015 13:13     Subject: A situation with my son going on vacation with his friend and family
Have you checked out other flight options? Your husband is being silly if he thinks a 16 year old can't fly alone. I understand not wanting him to be in a hotel for another 24 hours alone, but if he could take a flight earlier or later on the same day on another airline, etc. you might have luck. And if DH vetoes that option, then apparently it is worth $1000 to him for your 16yo to have adult supervision while flying.

I totally agree that this parent is out of line. How did you respond to the other mom? At the very least, I would say, "Mrs. Richyrich, this flight change is more than double our whole budget for this trip, so it is a significant hardship for us, and we would never have agreed to this trip if the original flight cost was so high. Are there any other options available, including allowing the boys to stay an additional day together?"
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2015 13:11     Subject: A situation with my son going on vacation with his friend and family
Husband should just come home a day early. But that's not something you can really quibble over. I'd just suck it up and pay. And not let him go with them again, since they are a bit flaky.

Still have him write a thank-you note, though.
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2015 12:56     Subject: A situation with my son going on vacation with his friend and family
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:my husband is not comfortable with him flying back on his own, it would mean him staying an extra day on his own which will not work. The family needs to be back a day early because of a closing her husband is involved in. I understand things come up. So happens that day is a very busy travel day and there are no more coach tickets, just first class.

She was somewhat apologetic but also made it sound like no big deal. Yes they are treating him to a very special vacation, top notch everything. As much as it's annoying me I am feeling like I have no choice.

My son is so excited for this trip, saved all his money for new snowboard boots, etc...I just wouldn't have the heart to tell him he cannot go. And I don't see the point in making her feel bad about it, it seems like it's really out of her control- just ironic though that at 48 I still haven't flown first class haha.


Doesn't change anything on your end, OP, but -- the whole family has to return a day early so that one parent can meet a unexpected work obligation? Mom can't stay out there one more day with the kids and your son and take the original flight back? Guess the other family decided that wasn't an option, but it seems odd that dad can't fly back on his own while mom and the kids stick to the original plan. It must be costing this family a fortune to take those changed flights back.

If taking the original flight means your son would have to stay overnight on his own at the destination, that would be a big "no" to me, so I'd let him fly back with the family. Someone said you should have your son pay the extra on the flight as some kind of lesson, but this situation is not of his making in any way -- he didn't change the flights, he didn't choose first class, he has already been responsible by saving for his own new boots, etc. I'd let him go as planned. The host family is paying a lot for "the rest" that they're covering (all food, lift tickets, ski rental, probably other entertainment as well as hotel) so since you say you can afford the extra money, I'd try to view it as as money I might have been willing to pay toward "the rest" anyway. There's no need to penalize your son or make it into some big life lesson in this case.

But I'd think twice before accepting an invitation with this family again, if a parent has work that somehow requires the whole family to alter its plans when a last-minute change comes up.


I agree, this is ridiculous. Sounds like a family that thinks money is just like water and it never crosses their mind to think about the cost of things. I'd probably suck it up, grumble about it privately and NEVER let my kid travel with them again.
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2015 12:55     Subject: A situation with my son going on vacation with his friend and family
Is this a money issue for you or is it the principle?
I might look into some earlier return flights myself and see if there's a cheaper one even if it's not the flight they are on. Sometimes the early morning 6AM flight is cheaper-- have your son take that one?

Anonymous
Post 02/13/2015 12:47     Subject: A situation with my son going on vacation with his friend and family
Anonymous wrote:I would be concerned as if they did this, then what other unexpected expenses will they come up with. They should have paid the cost for the change since it was their choice, not yours.


This! Depending on how long the trip is, I might see if he can fly back earlier on a cheaper flight.

If you really have to pay for the flight or cancel, Id suck it up and pay for the flight. I would not make travel arrangements with this family in the future.
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2015 12:41     Subject: A situation with my son going on vacation with his friend and family
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Just suck it up if you can afford it.
Not worth the battle.
We were upgraded to first class once and my kids still rave about it,

Why pass up on a life lesson because it's not worth a "battle"? How lame.


But a life lesson to who? The other parents? And what exactly is the lesson?

This seems to between the moms. I'd just pay it and get over it. This doesn't need to be made about the kids.
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2015 12:37     Subject: A situation with my son going on vacation with his friend and family
I would be concerned as if they did this, then what other unexpected expenses will they come up with. They should have paid the cost for the change since it was their choice, not yours.
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2015 12:36     Subject: Re:A situation with my son going on vacation with his friend and family
my husband is not comfortable with him flying back on his own, it would mean him staying an extra day on his own which will not work. The family needs to be back a day early because of a closing her husband is involved in. I understand things come up. So happens that day is a very busy travel day and there are no more coach tickets, just first class.


Well, then your other choice is to cancel or pay for the most expensive flight. It really seems like it would not be the end of the world for him to stay one more day alone and get on his original flight, since he is 16 years old, but if you don't feel comfortable with that, then you have to do one of the other two.