PP above: Also, people who are saying that material things don't count an disregarding that your sister has used a material thing to hurt you. It is not just any material thing that you saw in a store window -- it is your mothers diamonds.

Take the coin collection issue out of this. Your sister is just throwing that in your face to distract you. See how much a short trip to court would cost. Your sister has gotten very greedy over your moms estate. It has been 5 years since we went through this with our SIL. We just sucked it up (she took ALL the jewelry even thought he will said to divide it) Relationship has never been the same. You are unlikely to forget this and it will stand between you forever. Might as well try to get the diamond back because the relationship is already compromised.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fights like this make me so sick. The idea of my own children ever fighting over stuff like this makes me so sad. I think I will make it a point to sell/give it all away before I die. Not that I have great wealth or anything but to think that my children could have bitter fights over the wedding ring that their dad slipped on my finger is just...well, so sad.

OP: so you would be okay for one of your children to charge you $3000 per month to care for you when you were sick and helpless?

I sure hope I would be okay with that. Being a caretaker is an enormous burden, and if that money would help them outsource some of their other household stuff or let them enjoy a nice vacation as a break, I would gladly give it to them out of gratitude for their care.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fights like this make me so sick. The idea of my own children ever fighting over stuff like this makes me so sad. I think I will make it a point to sell/give it all away before I die. Not that I have great wealth or anything but to think that my children could have bitter fights over the wedding ring that their dad slipped on my finger is just...well, so sad.

OP: so you would be okay for one of your children to charge you $3000 per month to care for you when you were sick and helpless?

I think it's appalling and disgusting that your sister did that, but it certainly makes her behavior around the ring less surprising. This is who she is. Make your decision about any relationship you have with her accordingly.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fights like this make me so sick. The idea of my own children ever fighting over stuff like this makes me so sad. I think I will make it a point to sell/give it all away before I die. Not that I have great wealth or anything but to think that my children could have bitter fights over the wedding ring that their dad slipped on my finger is just...well, so sad.

I think people get into these fights sometimes because they are hurt and angry after a death and it gives them something to do with all that negative feeling.

I agree. And it's sad.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fights like this make me so sick. The idea of my own children ever fighting over stuff like this makes me so sad. I think I will make it a point to sell/give it all away before I die. Not that I have great wealth or anything but to think that my children could have bitter fights over the wedding ring that their dad slipped on my finger is just...well, so sad.

OP: so you would be okay for one of your children to charge you $3000 per month to care for you when you were sick and helpless?

I would assume that this care comes at a cost to the caretaker so how could I begrudge them compensation? Yeah, they could charge me. Ideally my kids will never have to provide care like that for me and I will take care of asset distribution myself rather than leave it up to them to handle.

OP, what is the dollar amount you are being cheated of with respect to the diamonds?

Get the coin collection appraised yourself.

Your sister will not change. If you want a relationship with her, you'll have to accept this ugly side of her personality. Maybe the last 18 months of your mother's life were really tough, if the Alzheimers got very bad.

I'm sorry for your loss. And I'm sorry your sister is acting like a greedy jerk.

Anonymous wrote:Op, you could say, if we are re opening this, I would like to get my reimbursement for the diamond as was noted in moms will.

Since it matters to you, I would take this as an opportunity to bring it up one more time. However, unless you are willing to actually take legal action regarding this will and the lack of follow through on executing the will, I would let it go if they ignore your attempts to resolve. No good will come from pursuing. There will be more damage to your relationships with both siblings.

At some point you have to decide if:
a) You are willing to forgive and move forward
b) You want to take legal action
c) You want to continue to bring it up at every opportunity and allow it to be divisive

I think if you want option A you should consider seeing a therapist to help you get past your feelings and learn how to forgive your sister.

Sorry that you're going through this OP. Unfortunately, this type of thing is more common than not. I'm sorry that your sister didn't honor your mom's wishes but I would personally be glad to have something of sentimental value (1 of 3 family diamonds) then want a "duplicate" 3 diamond ring that has no family history. There's really nothing you can do at this point but try to make peace with it. Also, you need to decide if some type of relationship is better than none.

My mom passed away years ago and my dad is still alive. He has some wealth and I am fully expecting some type of power play by my two other brothers (one b/c he really needs money and the other b/c even though he and his wife make a lot more money than most people will ever see, it's never enough). I'm just trying to brace myself and not be too disappointed when it all plays out. And for what it's worth, I am not sitting waiting for my dad to kick the bucket so we can inherit anything. It's more about seeing the ugliness come out in siblings if there is anything left to inherit (SIGH). But not all people are like this. I know on my husband's side everything will be divided equally among the 3 sons and it'll be very drama free.

Anonymous wrote:Fights like this make me so sick. The idea of my own children ever fighting over stuff like this makes me so sad. I think I will make it a point to sell/give it all away before I die. Not that I have great wealth or anything but to think that my children could have bitter fights over the wedding ring that their dad slipped on my finger is just...well, so sad.

OP: so you would be okay for one of your children to charge you $3000 per month to care for you when you were sick and helpless?

Anonymous wrote:Fights like this make me so sick. The idea of my own children ever fighting over stuff like this makes me so sad. I think I will make it a point to sell/give it all away before I die. Not that I have great wealth or anything but to think that my children could have bitter fights over the wedding ring that their dad slipped on my finger is just...well, so sad.

I think people get into these fights sometimes because they are hurt and angry after a death and it gives them something to do with all that negative feeling.

Anonymous wrote:Stop making the coin collection a power play. Just give it to your brother to deal with and be done with it.

As for your sister, do what you want. We don't have enough information to weigh the merits of who is right and who is wrong, so you need to decide if you can put money behind you for the sake of your relationship with your sister, or if the money is more important.

Can you read? OP said she would settle the coins.

Op, you could say, if we are re opening this, I would like to get my reimbursement for the diamond as was noted in moms will.

Anonymous wrote:Fights like this make me so sick. The idea of my own children ever fighting over stuff like this makes me so sad. I think I will make it a point to sell/give it all away before I die. Not that I have great wealth or anything but to think that my children could have bitter fights over the wedding ring that their dad slipped on my finger is just...well, so sad.

Perhaps the real sadness should be having a dishonest child?

Fights like this make me so sick. The idea of my own children ever fighting over stuff like this makes me so sad. I think I will make it a point to sell/give it all away before I die. Not that I have great wealth or anything but to think that my children could have bitter fights over the wedding ring that their dad slipped on my finger is just...well, so sad.