Anonymous wrote:Why make them give to charity? I don't know if they will see it as giving freely to something they believe in if its a chore. I always resented being forced to give at church, though I also hated church. Do you have a plan for them to choose a charity or is it something at school?

Seriously. And 10% to charity? What adult here, besides Mitt Romney (who's not here), gives 10% to charity? I give 0%. And that's too high.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don't give allowance, we make them work around the house.

We give an allowance that is not attached to chores. Everyone has to do chores because that is how families work. Don't want to do your chores? OK, you just lost a privilege.

They get an allowance to learn how to handle money. I once read that families that don't give allowance end up giving their kids just as much money, only it's not predictable. My kids know what's coming in: how much and when.

And they choose to donate to charity, which I am happy about. But it's their choice.

+1. I find tying allowance to chores is bizarre. Should I get paid by my partner for doing his laundry along with mine when I run a load? Should he get payment for me for fixing dinner? Chores are part of living in a family, they're a pain, yes, but it's neither pleasant nor sanitary to live in a pigsty, so they get done.

Anonymous wrote:Why make them give to charity? I don't know if they will see it as giving freely to something they believe in if its a chore. I always resented being forced to give at church, though I also hated church. Do you have a plan for them to choose a charity or is it something at school?

This. Giving to charity has to come from one's heart. If it's an important value to you, model it. Your children will find something they're passionate about and that they want to sacrifice their "wants" for. *Making* them give to charity is very likely to backlash once you can no longer control their actions.

Also, a thousand amens to "kids aren't stupid". They are exquisitely attuned bullshit detectors. If you give them X and tell them they can only spend 1/3 of X as they please, they'll catch on to the fact that their spending money is not really X, and they'll resent you for your insincerity.

Quite frankly, I see allowance as a teaching tool. They can blow it on candy the day they get it, and learn than there's no more money for a week. They can give it all to a beggar, and find out that you have to balance charity with your needs, in life. Or, with their parents' help (discussing, brainstorming, Mum/Dad acting as their "bank" where they can deposit x percentage of their allowance) they can save for a mid-term goal. But that has to be their goal, something they feel it's worth saving for, even if it seems the silliest thing on Earth to throw money into to the parent. Otherwise, there'll be no driving force behind the act of saving and, once again, the lesson won't be learned.

Anonymous wrote:Save, spend, give away. They decide how much to save, spend, or give away themselves.

+1

Save, spend, give away. They decide how much to save, spend, or give away themselves.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, right. I give my kid 5 bucks a week and let him save for college. And he better have the money together by the college time!
It's great to teach them to save, but let's stay grounded in reality.

It's reality. My son is saving $2/week for college. Even if you only required a $2/week savings for every year of K-12, that would be over $1200. It's not going to pay for a semester at UVA, but it would pay for two semesters of books. Spending money for more than a semester. We are planning to increase the amount once he is older, but that's what he's saving in FIRST grade. it's important, IMO, for kids to have some skin in the game for college expenses, and to know that from the start.

But it's not "reality". In "reality" you're giving him the money. Whether you pretend to give it to him $2 a week from first grade, or you give it to him as a lump sum at the beginning of freshman year to pay for books, it's still your money, and your skin in the game.

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, right. I give my kid 5 bucks a week and let him save for college. And he better have the money together by the college time!
It's great to teach them to save, but let's stay grounded in reality.

It's reality. My son is saving $2/week for college. Even if you only required a $2/week savings for every year of K-12, that would be over $1200. It's not going to pay for a semester at UVA, but it would pay for two semesters of books. Spending money for more than a semester. We are planning to increase the amount once he is older, but that's what he's saving in FIRST grade. it's important, IMO, for kids to have some skin in the game for college expenses, and to know that from the start.

My kids are 6 and 9 (almost) and they each get $6 per week, on Saturday. They put $3 in their spend jar, $2 in their save jar, and $1 in their give jar. They used their give jar money at Christmas to buy a toy to donate to Toys for Tots. The save jar remains untouched for college expenses or a car or some other major purchase when they are older.