I'd do the car as a grad gift. New or used would depend on budget and I'd probably let the kid decide (e.g., nicer used car or not as nice brand new). I'd probably have veto power beyond the price, too (e.g., not buying a Lamborghini with 150,000 miles on it, even though it's within budget). I agree with others that it's something people need, it can be tough to afford, she'll use it a lot, etc.

The trip I might be inclined to do as a "hey, you worked super hard, saved us a bundle of money, you deserve a treat."

I wouldn't do the furniture. It seems wasteful to replace stuff that's (presumably) perfectly good with a new set, especially since it might not work in her next place and she'll only be at home for another 2 years. It also seems somewhat ironic to me that she's basically saying "while I'm living at home, I want nice, grown-up furniture." Um, if you don't like the furniture that I provide in MY house, at 22 years old, you're free to move. You could offer to buy furniture for her when she moves out, as a grad school graduation present.

Agree that since merit aid covered undergrad tuition, it would be very nice to help her out somehow now. How will she be paying for grad school? I like the idea of giving her your 3 year old car and let her finish paying that off. Will you be helping financially with grad school?

I'd buy her the car. Furniture, she can buy on her own when she gets a job. A trip, she can pay for herself, too. A car is more of a need.

Wait are you getting her a car or a car loan? Buying a car to me would mean cash for a car and no car note. I wouldn't get her a car note. Why start her off in debt?

Anonymous wrote:She sounds like a good kid.
Yes to the car for sure (a good used car).
Then pay for one additional thing: have her choose between the furniture and the spring break trip.

Let us know what you wind up doing!

AGREE!

OK, so this is a college graduation? First, congrats to your daughter - I assume she is bright and hardworking if she got 4 yrs of merit aid in college, has a job set after graduation, and was accepted into a masters program - kudos to her! In your shoes, I would: buy her a car as a grad gift, assuming I could afford it without reaching - as a working adult living in the burbs at home, that will basically be a necessity, and I would be happy to help my hardworking college grad get a good start. Spring break trip - she should pay for it herself. Furniture - no way would I spend money on bedroom furniture for a 21 yr old - she can use what she already has and some day when she gets her own apt, I would help her buy a mattress if she truly did not have the money to do it but otherwise she can buy her own furniture. How many new college grads have nice, matching furniture anyway

^^Good kid because:

1. Significant merit scholarships for undergrad
2. Accepted into graduate program
3. Has a job lined up

Entitled or bratty not really an unexpected trait at 21.

Did you plan to pay for college if she hadn't have received merit aid?

The car seems like the thing that she needs. But the big thing you need to do is have a family meeting and talk about how you are going to deal with money now that your daughter is an adult. Some parents give a ton of financial support, some give none. Every family is different, but the important thing for your daughter is to give her specific and realistic expectation. And clearly you and your husband are going to need to get on the same page.

Anonymous wrote:She sounds like a good kid.
Yes to the car for sure (a good used car).
Then pay for one additional thing: have her choose between the furniture and the spring break trip.

Let us know what you wind up doing!

How does she sound like a good kid? She sounds pretty bratty to me.

Did you read OP's post? "DD feels entitled..." Seriously?

She sounds like a good kid.
Yes to the car for sure (a good used car).
Then pay for one additional thing: have her choose between the furniture and the spring break trip.

Let us know what you wind up doing!

21:38- that's the whole point of DCUM. Anonymous posts for anonymous responses for both normal or unusual situations. Isn't that why you come here? It's entertainment.