Anonymous
01/27/2015 08:31
Subject: What to do about sister's destination wedding
RSVP for one. This is what happens when you have a destination wedding (and sometimes the reason to have a destination wedding).
Anonymous
01/27/2015 08:29
Subject: Re:What to do about sister's destination wedding
You are in a no win situation. If you take them, you are going to be resentful as this is not something you want to do. If you leave them at home, your mother and sister are going to hold it against you.
Is there someone who can mediate for you? Will they listen to your husband if he talks with them?
I think you are going to have to decide which one of the choices works for you and stick with the fallout of the decision.
Is there someone who can mediate for you? Will they listen to your husband if he talks with them?
I think you are going to have to decide which one of the choices works for you and stick with the fallout of the decision.
Anonymous
01/27/2015 08:07
Subject: What to do about sister's destination wedding
Anonymous wrote:I would go. If money is the main objection, I would let your mom and sister know that budget is a huge concern. If it was my wedding, I'd pay for at least the flights for the twins.
As a PP said above, it's important that children are part of family celebrations. It makes shared memories and helps cement traditions. I also don't think 6 year olds would be bored by a typical wedding, if there is a reception and dancing and such.
If your sister didn't consult you about location and price before booking I think it's really inconsiderate and presumptuous of her. At the very least she should offer to pay for the kids. But even I she doesn't, I would still go. You, your husband, and your kids should all be at your sister's wedding. It's a once in a lifetime thing.
+1
Anonymous
01/27/2015 08:05
Subject: Re:What to do about sister's destination wedding
If your sister didn't consult you about location and price before booking I think it's really inconsiderate and presumptuous of her. At the very least she should offer to pay for the kids
No, she didn't consult me, but I would feel strange if she paid for the kids - she doesn't earn much money, though her fiance does. I would feel strange for him to pay for my kids to attend, because even though he's nice, I just don't know him that well.
Anonymous
01/27/2015 07:59
Subject: What to do about sister's destination wedding
DH went to his brother's international wedding without me and our three year old this summer. We basically would have been paying well over a thousand dollars for a giant logistical hassle with a jet lagged toddler, had I gone and brought him. I hated to miss it , but it meant DH got to go enjoy the wedding and other festivities to the fullest.
Tell your sister that: I want to enjoy your wedding to the fullest. You will get my full attention and participation if I don't have to be dealing with the kids. I am sorry they can't be there, but this is what is going to work best.
Tell your sister that: I want to enjoy your wedding to the fullest. You will get my full attention and participation if I don't have to be dealing with the kids. I am sorry they can't be there, but this is what is going to work best.
Anonymous
01/27/2015 07:54
Subject: What to do about sister's destination wedding
I would go. If money is the main objection, I would let your mom and sister know that budget is a huge concern. If it was my wedding, I'd pay for at least the flights for the twins.
As a PP said above, it's important that children are part of family celebrations. It makes shared memories and helps cement traditions. I also don't think 6 year olds would be bored by a typical wedding, if there is a reception and dancing and such.
If your sister didn't consult you about location and price before booking I think it's really inconsiderate and presumptuous of her. At the very least she should offer to pay for the kids. But even I she doesn't, I would still go. You, your husband, and your kids should all be at your sister's wedding. It's a once in a lifetime thing.
As a PP said above, it's important that children are part of family celebrations. It makes shared memories and helps cement traditions. I also don't think 6 year olds would be bored by a typical wedding, if there is a reception and dancing and such.
If your sister didn't consult you about location and price before booking I think it's really inconsiderate and presumptuous of her. At the very least she should offer to pay for the kids. But even I she doesn't, I would still go. You, your husband, and your kids should all be at your sister's wedding. It's a once in a lifetime thing.
Anonymous
01/27/2015 07:29
Subject: What to do about sister's destination wedding
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I can't imagine my mother pressuring me to spend $2500 (pp's total was about right) with 2 small children to support and a budget.
That's a lot of money to a lot of us, to say nothing of using the time off from work and then being out of days at the end of the year when the cold/flu season comes around again
I can't imagine my kids and husband not being at my sibling's wedding.
Well then hopefully your siblings aren't so selfish as to plan a ridiculously inconvenient and expensive-to-attend destination wedding. People who prioritize their families tend to also prioritize making sure relatives can attend.
Anonymous
01/27/2015 07:27
Subject: What to do about sister's destination wedding
Anonymous wrote:I don't think traveling with 5yr old twins is a good excuse not to go. It's not the same as traveling with babies or toddlers.
In fact, the next time you take your family on vacation, it's going to draw equal comparisons in their minds.
I also don't think it is fair for them to expect you to lay out so much money to travel to a destination wedding, but again the next time you go on vacation they're going to wonder how come you can afford to travel to X and not to your own sister's wedding?
I'd really look at your finances and see if you're not being stubborn. If you travel as a family, you can make a longer trip out of it and maybe your family can help with some babysitting so you and your DH can have some time to yourselves.
If you make a big fight out of it, you are going to cause bad blood. See if you can avoid that.
+1
Anonymous
01/27/2015 07:26
Subject: What to do about sister's destination wedding
Anonymous wrote:I don't think traveling with 5yr old twins is a good excuse not to go. It's not the same as traveling with babies or toddlers.
In fact, the next time you take your family on vacation, it's going to draw equal comparisons in their minds.
I also don't think it is fair for them to expect you to lay out so much money to travel to a destination wedding, but again the next time you go on vacation they're going to wonder how come you can afford to travel to X and not to your own sister's wedding?
I'd really look at your finances and see if you're not being stubborn. If you travel as a family, you can make a longer trip out of it and maybe your family can help with some babysitting so you and your DH can have some time to yourselves.
If you make a big fight out of it, you are going to cause bad blood. See if you can avoid that.
No, the OP is not causing anything. She is making a perfectly reasonable determination that her children should stay home. If there is any "bad blood", then that is a CHOICE that her sister will make. Just like having a destination wedding that will cost your guests thousands of dollars is a CHOICE.
I just can't even.
Anonymous
01/27/2015 06:30
Subject: What to do about sister's destination wedding
I don't know if I would take 6 year olds to a wedding if it was in my hometown. They will be BORED! When they get bored/tired, YOU will have to leave the wedding and return to the hotel room.
Anonymous
01/27/2015 06:00
Subject: What to do about sister's destination wedding
Anonymous wrote:Twin mom here. No way would I go. Your mother and sisters attitudes are so bad that I don't think I'd want to go. Couples who decide to have a destination wedding have to accept that some invitees, including family, may not be able to make it.
X1000
Anonymous
01/27/2015 05:54
Subject: What to do about sister's destination wedding
I don't think traveling with 5yr old twins is a good excuse not to go. It's not the same as traveling with babies or toddlers.
In fact, the next time you take your family on vacation, it's going to draw equal comparisons in their minds.
I also don't think it is fair for them to expect you to lay out so much money to travel to a destination wedding, but again the next time you go on vacation they're going to wonder how come you can afford to travel to X and not to your own sister's wedding?
I'd really look at your finances and see if you're not being stubborn. If you travel as a family, you can make a longer trip out of it and maybe your family can help with some babysitting so you and your DH can have some time to yourselves.
If you make a big fight out of it, you are going to cause bad blood. See if you can avoid that.
In fact, the next time you take your family on vacation, it's going to draw equal comparisons in their minds.
I also don't think it is fair for them to expect you to lay out so much money to travel to a destination wedding, but again the next time you go on vacation they're going to wonder how come you can afford to travel to X and not to your own sister's wedding?
I'd really look at your finances and see if you're not being stubborn. If you travel as a family, you can make a longer trip out of it and maybe your family can help with some babysitting so you and your DH can have some time to yourselves.
If you make a big fight out of it, you are going to cause bad blood. See if you can avoid that.
Anonymous
01/27/2015 03:39
Subject: What to do about sister's destination wedding
Twin mom here. No way would I go. Your mother and sisters attitudes are so bad that I don't think I'd want to go. Couples who decide to have a destination wedding have to accept that some invitees, including family, may not be able to make it.
Anonymous
01/27/2015 01:42
Subject: What to do about sister's destination wedding
I would want my kids to travel with me.at age 6 they are good companions. I would make it a vacation and save on next year's travel
7 hours is totally doable at 5-6 years of age. It's not like you have toddlers.
7 hours is totally doable at 5-6 years of age. It's not like you have toddlers.
Anonymous
01/26/2015 20:50
Subject: Re:What to do about sister's destination wedding
I'm assuming there's a typo here somewhere.
Yes, s/b DH's mother's husband sorry. I guess I should have just said grandfather, b/c that's what they thought of him as.