Anonymous wrote:Okay, non-drinking child of alcoholics here. My spouse also didn't drink for many years due to a particular health problem so our daughter was raised most of her youth in a non-drinking household. We told her that she might be predisposed to addiction so she had to watch her consumption carefully. Despite growing up in a non-drinking household, she went off to college and jumped feet first into raging alcoholism. Because she knew that this was the family disease, I think once she realized she had a problem she dealt with it and started going to a 12-step program. Kid's been in recovery for a while and is doing well.

All this is to say that you not drinking in front of your children will not prevent them from becoming alcoholics. Modelling responsible drinking in front of your children will also not prevent them from becoming alcoholics. Alcoholism runs far deeper than that. So if you do have family with addictions (and I'm wondering about your parents from the way you describe them), you do need to tell your children they may be predisposed to addiction and give them the tools to deal with it if they find themselves falling into addiction. But I doubt your drinking or not drinking will make them addicts.

And you might tell your mother that she needs to get to Al-Anon because she is acting like a first class co-dependent! Good luck, OP!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know the answer to this.

But I give it about five posts until someone posts the canard about how Europeans have a more sophisticated attitude about alcohol (hint: They don't. They're all raging drunks).

All raging drunks? Really, PP?

Well, I was exaggerating. But there's this myth that the Europeans handle alcohol more responsibly than Americans.

Europe is a big continent. I think generalizing is stupid. There is tons of binge drinking in some countries, less in others. I did it myself as I posted about my "European" family. I'll be more specific. Southern Italian, wine and beer grappa and sambuca are on tables all the time with meals. I've also been to bars in the UK where 1/2 of the place looked about ready to brawl or fight and I was thinking "wow, this is way worse than most college bars even!"

Europe is only slightly larger than the United States, and yet people make generalizations about Americans and alcohol all the time.

It's just funny. "Oh, the Europeans have such healthier attitudes about alcohol."

Oh, really? Met any Russians lately?

You may have noticed that America is one country? Europe has roughly 50? Unlike states, they are completely different. It's quite different to generalize America as being similar from coast to coast than to do that with Europe.

Anonymous wrote:Set the boundary. Tell her you've made your decision and you're not discussing it. Then stop discussing it. If she beings it up in a call, end the call. If it happens when she visits, leave the room. Stop inviting her. Either still stop or she won't, depends whether contact with y'all is more important to her than her position on this issue.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know the answer to this.

But I give it about five posts until someone posts the canard about how Europeans have a more sophisticated attitude about alcohol (hint: They don't. They're all raging drunks).

All raging drunks? Really, PP?

Well, I was exaggerating. But there's this myth that the Europeans handle alcohol more responsibly than Americans.

Europe is a big continent. I think generalizing is stupid. There is tons of binge drinking in some countries, less in others. I did it myself as I posted about my "European" family. I'll be more specific. Southern Italian, wine and beer grappa and sambuca are on tables all the time with meals. I've also been to bars in the UK where 1/2 of the place looked about ready to brawl or fight and I was thinking "wow, this is way worse than most college bars even!"

Europe is only slightly larger than the United States, and yet people make generalizations about Americans and alcohol all the time.

It's just funny. "Oh, the Europeans have such healthier attitudes about alcohol."

Oh, really? Met any Russians lately?

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for everyone's feedback. I think a short, confident push back is in order here. My mother is very confident in her own life anecdotes about great uncle so and so (she uses the same ones over and over again) so I need to be confident right back. She'll try to get the final word-- these days her final word comes down to "I'm older than you therefore I've SEEN and EXPERIENCED more"-- but at that point, I feel like all I can say is being older doesn't make one any less ridiculous.