Anonymous
Post 01/27/2015 20:53     Subject: Re:I can't sleep: what's going on in your relationship? Anything you want to unload about?
Anonymous wrote:We're in a pretty challenging stretch right now, mainly because he's so checked out. My plan had been to take this year and really work on myself to see to what extent the issues in our marriage really were me, vs. him/the marriage, and then decide what to do about the marriage going forward. Reading the other thread about lies people tell themselves when divorcing, though, has me reconsidering. I can't change him or force him to engage with the family, but I have the means to make myself happy in our home and with our kids, and he can basically be the roommate. If at some point he wakes up and realizes he wants to be part of the family, we will welcome him with open arms, but in the meantime we'll be happy on our own.

I don't think real happiness is possible in this situation.
Anonymous
Post 01/26/2015 08:15     Subject: I can't sleep: what's going on in your relationship? Anything you want to unload about?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am returning to work after maternity leave tomorrow and bringing the baby in to daycare for the first time. I am lying here resenting my husband for not making more money so I can SAHM. I also feel bitter because it feels like if he really thought I was a good mom he would not believe a random handful of women at daycare is a better choice for watching our child all day than I am. Sniff. I am also mad at me for agreeing to do this when I don't want to, and not figuring out a way around it.


Can you talk to your DH and tell him how much this bothers you? And see if you can reduce your lifestyle but survive on his income?


Our lifestyle is already quite bare bones. The only way to reduce it further would be to move somewhere less expensive.


Well, it's your life and your kids' life you're talking about. If you really feel like staying at home raising your child is critical, it would justify moving somewhere less expensive. If it's a more superficial feeling that will pass soon, then try to get past the resentment. It's not really his fault, doesn't sound like.
Anonymous
Post 01/26/2015 01:45     Subject: I can't sleep: what's going on in your relationship? Anything you want to unload about?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am returning to work after maternity leave tomorrow and bringing the baby in to daycare for the first time. I am lying here resenting my husband for not making more money so I can SAHM. I also feel bitter because it feels like if he really thought I was a good mom he would not believe a random handful of women at daycare is a better choice for watching our child all day than I am. Sniff. I am also mad at me for agreeing to do this when I don't want to, and not figuring out a way around it.


Can you talk to your DH and tell him how much this bothers you? And see if you can reduce your lifestyle but survive on his income?


Our lifestyle is already quite bare bones. The only way to reduce it further would be to move somewhere less expensive.
Anonymous
Post 01/26/2015 01:39     Subject: I can't sleep: what's going on in your relationship? Anything you want to unload about?
Anonymous wrote:Realizing that my boyfriend of 3 months has no man balls. Acts like a 70 year old man when driving in less than ideal weather conditions (rain). Also after waiting months to have sex I learn that he is a quick shooter. Other than that he is a great guy and has the qualities I'm looking for in a partner. But if I hear one more time how he hates driving in any type of precipitation I will cut off his balls and serve them to him. Sigh


Is he from Virginia?
Anonymous
Post 01/26/2015 01:39     Subject: I can't sleep: what's going on in your relationship? Anything you want to unload about?
Anonymous wrote:I am returning to work after maternity leave tomorrow and bringing the baby in to daycare for the first time. I am lying here resenting my husband for not making more money so I can SAHM. I also feel bitter because it feels like if he really thought I was a good mom he would not believe a random handful of women at daycare is a better choice for watching our child all day than I am. Sniff. I am also mad at me for agreeing to do this when I don't want to, and not figuring out a way around it.


Can you talk to your DH and tell him how much this bothers you? And see if you can reduce your lifestyle but survive on his income?
Anonymous
Post 01/26/2015 01:36     Subject: I can't sleep: what's going on in your relationship? Anything you want to unload about?
I am returning to work after maternity leave tomorrow and bringing the baby in to daycare for the first time. I am lying here resenting my husband for not making more money so I can SAHM. I also feel bitter because it feels like if he really thought I was a good mom he would not believe a random handful of women at daycare is a better choice for watching our child all day than I am. Sniff. I am also mad at me for agreeing to do this when I don't want to, and not figuring out a way around it.
Anonymous
Post 01/24/2015 17:38     Subject: I can't sleep: what's going on in your relationship? Anything you want to unload about?
Realizing that my boyfriend of 3 months has no man balls. Acts like a 70 year old man when driving in less than ideal weather conditions (rain). Also after waiting months to have sex I learn that he is a quick shooter. Other than that he is a great guy and has the qualities I'm looking for in a partner. But if I hear one more time how he hates driving in any type of precipitation I will cut off his balls and serve them to him. Sigh
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2015 04:12     Subject: I can't sleep: what's going on in your relationship? Anything you want to unload about?
Anonymous wrote:In a nutshell, I am single and blissfully happy.

I am 45 and have been in some pretty unhappy relationships in my past.

My most recent was about over a year ago w/a verbally and physically abusive guy who was just bad news times ten.

I realized that I am much happier on my own because relationships just stress me out too much. It feels like work to me to have to maintain them.

Right now my life feels complete and full. I don't feel like there are any pieces missing and every part of my life feels fulfilled.

Everyone thinks I am crazy to enjoy living and being alone, but I think they are crazy for thinking less of me because I am.

I believe to be an extension of another person, you must be happy and find peace within yourself first and foremost.


So cliche, but so true.
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2015 09:51     Subject: I can't sleep: what's going on in your relationship? Anything you want to unload about?
Anonymous wrote:Today I didn't see the MM. I was thinking about his wife, and how he lies to both of us.


I have been have dreams about the wife. She and I have had awful exchanges. For the first time I feel bad for her. And have been thinking about how he lies to both of us, and we're both stupid for staying.
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2015 06:47     Subject: I can't sleep: what's going on in your relationship? Anything you want to unload about?
Anonymous wrote:In a nutshell, I am single and blissfully happy.

I am 45 and have been in some pretty unhappy relationships in my past.

My most recent was about over a year ago w/a verbally and physically abusive guy who was just bad news times ten.

I realized that I am much happier on my own because relationships just stress me out too much. It feels like work to me to have to maintain them.

Right now my life feels complete and full. I don't feel like there are any pieces missing and every part of my life feels fulfilled.

Everyone thinks I am crazy to enjoy living and being alone, but I think they are crazy for thinking less of me because I am.

I believe to be an extension of another person, you must be happy and find peace within yourself first and foremost.


Plus 1 (except I adopted a newborn 15 months ago as a single person.) If Mr. Wonderful miraculously appears, that would be great...in the meantime, baby & I are doing great!
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2015 05:53     Subject: I can't sleep: what's going on in your relationship? Anything you want to unload about?
In a nutshell, I am single and blissfully happy.

I am 45 and have been in some pretty unhappy relationships in my past.

My most recent was about over a year ago w/a verbally and physically abusive guy who was just bad news times ten.

I realized that I am much happier on my own because relationships just stress me out too much. It feels like work to me to have to maintain them.

Right now my life feels complete and full. I don't feel like there are any pieces missing and every part of my life feels fulfilled.

Everyone thinks I am crazy to enjoy living and being alone, but I think they are crazy for thinking less of me because I am.

I believe to be an extension of another person, you must be happy and find peace within yourself first and foremost.
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2015 05:33     Subject: Re:I can't sleep: what's going on in your relationship? Anything you want to unload about?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I want to live alone but don't know how to approach my husband on this. He may laugh but I'm dead serious.


Do you want to split from him?

Or just live in different homes yet remain married? If so, good luck. That is going backwards.


Live apart but not divorce. I'm very sick and can barely attend to myself much less another person. Call it backwards but it's what I want.


Does he attend to you when you need help?
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2015 01:35     Subject: I can't sleep: what's going on in your relationship? Anything you want to unload about?
Had sex with my husband for the first time in at least 6 months. It was terrible.
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2015 00:44     Subject: I can't sleep: what's going on in your relationship? Anything you want to unload about?
ordered a bunch of kitchen renovation items that are not returnable

spouse looked at them after delivery and hated them even after agreeing to them online.
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2015 00:19     Subject: I can't sleep: what's going on in your relationship? Anything you want to unload about?
Today I didn't see the MM. I was thinking about his wife, and how he lies to both of us.