Since when is being a bridesmaid some form of servitude? Where you're required to attend multiple events, give up long chunks of time, and shell out a bunch of money? It's not. You go to what you can swing. I don't think you should feel bad AT ALL about not going. Bachelorette parties are silly anyways.

Go to the shower. Do all the formal duties. That's all youneed to do.

Anonymous wrote:skip it. People are getting out of control with wedding selfishness.

seriously. weekend bachlorette and a destination wedding? yikes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't skip it. She may resent that. Sounds like you are making excuses. You agreed to be a bridesmaid, now step up to the plate.

Oh, brother!

+1

Being a bridesmaid or even maid of honor doesn't trump everything else in your life.

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't skip it. She may resent that. Sounds like you are making excuses. You agreed to be a bridesmaid, now step up to the plate.

Oh, brother!

If you're not the honor attendant and it's that pricey, you should be free to skip. Being a bridesmaid is enough work. OTOH, if she's a bridezilla who'll never forgive/forget missing it, you may want to go just to take that off her gripes list. However, if she is that immature, just wait: she'll find another gripe to start a war over. A reasonable bride (a mature one, anyway) will realize that a destination wedding is expensive enough, understand that you can't make it (for whatever reason), and focus on the family/friends who can join her on this trip.

Good luck!

I had to miss by BFF bachelorette party because my sister was terminally ill. Called the bar ahead of time and set up a credit card tab to pick up the bill for more than a few rounds. Skip it and make your presence known in another thoughtful way....

You can skip, for all you know she'd rather her SIL wasn't there so she can just have fun with her chosen friends.

Anonymous wrote:I would not go, my kids are more important than SIL, and there will be tons of opportunities to get know her better in future when your kid is bigger.

But she sees her kids every day. This is a once in a lifetime for SIL.
Plus, if kids time was so important she would choose a job where she doesn't have to travel.

I wouldn't skip it. She may resent that. Sounds like you are making excuses. You agreed to be a bridesmaid, now step up to the plate.

Anonymous wrote:I don't know if it matters, but is this your brother's fiance's bachelorette weekend or your husband's sister's?

Yes, I'm wondering the same thing...

skip it. People are getting out of control with wedding selfishness.

I would not go, my kids are more important than SIL, and there will be tons of opportunities to get know her better in future when your kid is bigger.

I don't know if it matters, but is this your brother's fiance's bachelorette weekend or your husband's sister's?

Skip it. Can you ask to be in charge of some aspect from afar? Maybe buy a veil for the bride or pay for some bottles of champaigne to be waiting in their room?

Alternatively, drive up Saturday and drive home Sunday. Tough but you can make it work and you'll be there for Saturday night, which is presumably the big deal.

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you just tell her - hey SIL, I really want to help you celebrate your wedding, but childcare, etc. make getting away for a weekend really difficult. Could we find a time for me to (take you to a spa, go to tea, get dinner, etc) a different weekend?

+1, and like PP said, send a nice basket with champagne to her hotel room with a sweet note.