Kids are ready to read at different times. My kids were late readers and one is gifted. I know many early readers who ended up being just average students later. It means nothing.

Love your child for who he is. Your disappointment is far more harmful to his future happiness than average intelligence.

Anonymous wrote:

OP here. DH is successful and earns close to 7 figures. I stayed home and now do some consulting work so that I could focus on the children. I just feel like such a failure. I have tried so hard to enrich him. I put so much effort into a balanced schedule of studying, sports, music, etc. We do play dates, educational outings, journals, have a million books and go to the library all the time. I don't think there is anything more I can do.

OP, your child is a person, not a project.

Anonymous wrote:I feel sad that my kid is undergoing chemo.

Sending prayers your way.

Anonymous wrote:My kindergarten son cannot yet read and he is almost 6yo. DH and I are ivy league educated and have always been at the top of our class. We have many friends with very bright children and I've come to realize my child is average. I know this is not the end of the world but I feel sad tonight. I love him so much and don't want him to know my disappointment.

Your disappointment? Honestly, he should be the one who is disappointed in having shallow douches for parents. Jesus.

OP, maybe he is gifted. My son didn't read until he was 6 and out of kindergarten. He is gifted, with the scores and HGC/magnet schools to show it. He's much older now, of course. It's not a race, seriously. (Not that it matters, but I have a BA from a second-tier state school. So does my DH.)

Anonymous wrote:Unless you have the money for private school, be happy with your average child. Public schools are made for average kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get it, OP. We all have our moments when we lose perspective and struggle. But reading late does not necessarily mean your child is not intelligent.

I can think of several of my childhood peers who were considered slow and did not do well in school, yet are now successful in their field of work. It's a matter of finding the right field. You need to open your mind to non-academic possibilities for your child. Only if your mind is open will you be able to help your child find his path. Instead of laying awake worrying, make an effort to help your child develop his unique talents. That is the way forward.

OP here. DH is successful and earns close to 7 figures. I stayed home and now do some consulting work so that I could focus on the children. I just feel like such a failure. I have tried so hard to enrich him. I put so much effort into a balanced schedule of studying, sports, music, etc. We do play dates, educational outings, journals, have a million books and go to the library all the time. I don't think there is anything more I can do.

Look, we haven't done any of those things. I mean seriously none. Well except lots of books. My kid started reading at 3. He just did. It just happened. I don't know if he's gifted or not. I don't think you know that your son isn't either. When he's ready it will click and given his family and his background he'll likely race ahead.

(ps before he started to read, when he was about 2.5 I remember feeling inadequate because he didn't know his colors and was behind in speech and all the other kids seemed so advanced. A year later, when he was clearly happy and learning and starting to read I realized how stupid that disappointment and feeling of inadequacy was).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get it, OP. We all have our moments when we lose perspective and struggle. But reading late does not necessarily mean your child is not intelligent.

I can think of several of my childhood peers who were considered slow and did not do well in school, yet are now successful in their field of work. It's a matter of finding the right field. You need to open your mind to non-academic possibilities for your child. Only if your mind is open will you be able to help your child find his path. Instead of laying awake worrying, make an effort to help your child develop his unique talents. That is the way forward.

OP here. DH is successful and earns close to 7 figures. I stayed home and now do some consulting work so that I could focus on the children. I just feel like such a failure. I have tried so hard to enrich him. I put so much effort into a balanced schedule of studying, sports, music, etc. We do play dates, educational outings, journals, have a million books and go to the library all the time. I don't think there is anything more I can do.

Wow, you really are a failure, OP. I'm not being snarky, I truly mean it and agree with you. You had one job, as you defined it, and you failed at it. Your son probably would have been much better off with an educated nanny who didn't put so much pressure on him.

I'm sorry, OP. We all have our failures in life. It is so tragically sad however that your poor son is your failure.

OP's (and your) only failure is to succumb to the illusion that a parent can fully or even to a significant extent determine academic outcomes for a child. You can help realize potential, but the limits are set by nature.

Anonymous wrote:I'm an Ivy league graduate as well - do you really think it means squat now that you have your BA/BS from an Ivy? Were all your classmates at your university brilliant - mine sure as hell weren't. Lots of miserable, socially awkward stressed out kids. We're not talking Cornell here or Penn - I graduated from Harvard. Being "smart" (what ever the fuck that means) has never brought me one second of happiness.

Get your priorities straight, OP, and stop thinking you accomplished anything special from graduating from an "Ivy".

Yeah baby! I like you.

You've heard of regression to the mean, right?

"Regression to the mean, also known as regression toward the mean, was discovered by Sir Francis Galton while he was conducting reporting the heights of 250 parents and their 930 children. Galton calculated the average height for the adults and children and plotted the heights of everyone on a chart. Galton found that the children of parents who were taller than average tended to have children that were taller than average, and the parents who were shorter than average tended to have children who were shorter on average.

However, in instances where the parents were taller than than average, the children tended to be a bit shorter than the parents and in instances where the parents were shorter than average, the children tended to be a bit taller than the parents. In other words, the children of parents with heights that were extremely above or below average had heights that were closer to the average. Galton called this phenomenon regression of the mean ."


OP- Did you really think that your child would be just as intelligent or more intelligent that two extremely intelligent parents?

Anonymous wrote:Unless you have the money for private school, be happy with your average child. Public schools are made for average kids.

Actually, private schools are. Luckily, the OP has plenty of money so you and she can hang out and convince yourselves that you are ensuring your kid's future success by throwing money at the issue.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get it, OP. We all have our moments when we lose perspective and struggle. But reading late does not necessarily mean your child is not intelligent.

I can think of several of my childhood peers who were considered slow and did not do well in school, yet are now successful in their field of work. It's a matter of finding the right field. You need to open your mind to non-academic possibilities for your child. Only if your mind is open will you be able to help your child find his path. Instead of laying awake worrying, make an effort to help your child develop his unique talents. That is the way forward.

OP here. DH is successful and earns close to 7 figures. I stayed home and now do some consulting work so that I could focus on the children. I just feel like such a failure. I have tried so hard to enrich him. I put so much effort into a balanced schedule of studying, sports, music, etc. We do play dates, educational outings, journals, have a million books and go to the library all the time. I don't think there is anything more I can do.

You can't be for real. WTH does your DH's income have to do with anything? This has to be a joke. If not, your kid has bigger problems than the ones you are focused on.

I sincerely hope this is a troll post. If real, I do feel bad for the kid(s) because it must be a pressure cooker there. Give up on forced learning and give in to experiental fun. Kid will be better off.

FWIW, my son was not really reading much at all in K or at the beginning of first grade. He was evaluated in K for gifted programming based on non-reading factors and his reported IQ was 140+. Onset of reading is not a great indicator of ultimate ability. He is just now as a first grader beginning to read. We are not disappointed in him at all. He's an awesome kid.

Just because he isn't reading doesn't mean he's not intelligent. There are all different types of intelligence. I presume you have spoken to his teacher and he/she has told you that your child is fine.

"Don't be so mean to this poor mom!!! It's kind of hard not to be type a about your child if you are type a.
1- he isn't average he is reading at the normal age. All the boys here are kept back in k because it isn't dev correct for them to read so early. Solution is to keep him back a year. Everyone does this and he will be bigger for sports so that's a plus.
2- you need some other arena to compete in so it takes some of the pressure off the child rearing. I didn't do this and I wish I had. You will need something to do in 15 years when he leaves do start part time now.
Good luck and thanks for being a dedicated mom- it's an important job and your child will benefit hugely from it. "

Idiot!