Anonymous
Post 01/06/2015 22:52     Subject: help me justify this
Please consider what PPs said about dementia or a stroke. Sudden change in personality is often due to a medical condition. I hope you've thought about that.
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2015 22:36     Subject: help me justify this
I'm OP, thanks guys for all the advice. To clarify some things: this is the wedding of my beloved little brother with whom I am unusually close, whose future wife insists his mom come (heavily against our wishes) so they can try and reconcile themselves. She thinks the power of love will make her reconnect with us. We backed down in order to stop creating arguments. I realize now that it's crazy to hide my family. I'm not bringing them, too expensive to travel for three for just a weekend, but I'm going to show around pictures. Reading this it's occurred to me that my mom will probably be unpleasant no matter what and as long as she can't hurt anyone (namely, my family) she can't take anything away from any of us. I'm just going to avoid her if I can, show her pictures if she asks, and go home. Thanks so much guys.
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2015 21:05     Subject: help me justify this
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My mom is a nightmare, freak show, racist bigot, etcetera. She's verbally abusive to the point of fairly tale stepmother behavior, and leaves a trail of chaos and tears wherever she goes. This behavior started about ten years ago, before that she was a decent mom and a lovely woman. No idea where it's coming from but with the things she's said to me I don't have any interest in knowing. I've largely cut her out and see her, at most, once every two years for a day at someone else's house or an official function. 18 months ago I got married to the man of my dreams (of another race, as well) and two months ago our wonderful baby girl was born. My mom knows of none of this and I want to keep her in the dark. She'll be judgmental and honestly I don't want my kid to have to deal with her. I have to see her in a month at a wedding, there's no way to get around it (believe me, I've tried.) I'm considering sending out a notice to everyone at the wedding, about 150-200 people (or asking the host to do so) requesting that my family not be mentioned. Am I being crazy here? Help me. Thanks.


Don't go to the wedding or go and deal with the situation as it arises. Don't ask people to lie for you.

In any event, I just wanted to say that your mother is probably sick if this is a new(ish) behavior and she used to be a "lovely woman" 10 years ago. She probably has dementia or something similar. Cut her a break and try to help her, although there is nothing much you can do. But if she is sick, be compassionate and remember your "real mother" was a lovely woman once.

GL.


+1 it could even have been a small stroke. My grandmother had a personality change after her first stroke. It was really the only external sign that something had happened.