Anonymous
Post 12/29/2014 15:32     Subject: How would you react?
Anonymous wrote:Just read again and noticed the people they brought with them included their own sibling and your husband's brother and his wife. So your offer to stay in your guest room would have deprived them of their other child's company over the holiday, and that of their sister.

They spent over $10K in hotels and more in airfare!!! Do you know how much money you would have saved them if you had just visited them at their house? Crikey!!!


Right?

Basically, she said - if you want to see your son you need to fly to come see me. Never mind that you planned to have the entire family to your house (including "foreign" cousins) but you all must come to meeeeeeeee! I can't fly with children!!!!! Noooooo! To hard!!!!! I'm so very, very special.

Then when the entire family does come fly to this crazy loony lady, she refuses to go out to dinner because it's to "stressful" for her and the kids.

And to top the whole thing off....she is mad that no one chipped in on the drama she created.

Oh, this is my favorite of the selfish crazies of DCUM.
Anonymous
Post 12/29/2014 15:30     Subject: How would you react?
Anonymous wrote:Just read again and noticed the people they brought with them included their own sibling and your husband's brother and his wife. So your offer to stay in your guest room would have deprived them of their other child's company over the holiday, and that of their sister.

They spent over $10K in hotels and more in airfare!!! Do you know how much money you would have saved them if you had just visited them at their house? Crikey!!!


Op doesn't care. You know she wouldn't have offered to help with any costs if they had been visiting and she likely would have bitched About the in laws not paying for their flights. Some people are just horrible and ungrateful people. OP and her husband appear to fall into that category
Anonymous
Post 12/29/2014 15:26     Subject: How would you react?
Just read again and noticed the people they brought with them included their own sibling and your husband's brother and his wife. So your offer to stay in your guest room would have deprived them of their other child's company over the holiday, and that of their sister.

They spent over $10K in hotels and more in airfare!!! Do you know how much money you would have saved them if you had just visited them at their house? Crikey!!!
Anonymous
Post 12/29/2014 15:24     Subject: How would you react?
Anonymous wrote:OP Here - I have certainly received my comeuppance here today, which is fine. The dinner was more of a "wouldn't it just be more convenient for the foreign cousins (with 4 kids) - and our kids - if it was at a house instead of a restaurant" and me saying "I guess I can make it work so long as I don't have to cook for 15 people on the day after XMAS" as opposed to a big invitation. But no matter. Honest question, though, isn't it unusual for my in laws to invite other family members to our Christmas celebration anyway? I mean I would never visit them and inform them I was bringing extra people. I feel like it's akin to her inviting us to have Thankgiving with them, and me announcing that I would also be bringing my parents, my sister, and six friends, and then expecting her to either cook or coordinate dinner for 8 nights for people she barely knows. Or am I wrong about this too? Does accepting monetary help during my husband's unemployment (during which no one wanted my DH to have to go out of his way to actually care for the kids - hence the help with childcare) mean I am now the personal caterer for their extended family gatherings?


You mean, is it rude for them to invite their family? It's not the same as your situation. These cousins are your in-laws family - perhaps you are the ones that your inlaws are really stressed about having to change the plans around.

Also, if you didn't want to cook - maybe you should have gone out to dinner.

Lastly, yes. If you take someones money, you are beholden to them. That's how it works. No one wanted your DH to actually care for the kids? Seriously? Did you really type that?
Anonymous
Post 12/29/2014 15:20     Subject: How would you react?
Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry- are the 'foreign cousins' not really cousins or something? I'm not understanding this descriptor or why it matters


OP doesn't realize that she is actually the foreign person in this group.
Anonymous
Post 12/29/2014 15:19     Subject: How would you react?
Wait, wait. Let me get this...

1. Your DH was unemployed and home for 2 years and YET, you still had your inlaws pay for 2 years of daycare? Is something wrong with your lazy husband that he couldn't watch the kids?

2. Your inlaws flew out to visit you (plane tickets) and paid for hotel for family to visit you (hotel costs) and offered to take all of you out to somewhere nice to eat and you said "no, let's eat at my house" and you are bitching they didn't pay?

Wow. I've read a lot of spoiled things on DCUM today, but I have to say, you win today for the most spoiled. Pretty impressive.
Anonymous
Post 12/29/2014 15:18     Subject: How would you react?
This is why we never ask for or accept money from our parents. They can contribute to the DCs college funds, but that's it.
Anonymous
Post 12/29/2014 15:15     Subject: How would you react?
Anonymous wrote:Except you aren't the personal caterer. They offered to take everyone out for dinner but you declined. Did it ever occur to you that they had planned to see all these people for Christmas but since you guys refused to travel they changed plans? Your in laws sound like great people. It's a shame they have a son and daughter in law like you two. You're unbelievable.

Very possible.
Anonymous
Post 12/29/2014 15:14     Subject: How would you react?
Anonymous wrote:OP Here - I have certainly received my comeuppance here today, which is fine. The dinner was more of a "wouldn't it just be more convenient for the foreign cousins (with 4 kids) - and our kids - if it was at a house instead of a restaurant" and me saying "I guess I can make it work so long as I don't have to cook for 15 people on the day after XMAS" as opposed to a big invitation. But no matter. Honest question, though, isn't it unusual for my in laws to invite other family members to our Christmas celebration anyway? I mean I would never visit them and inform them I was bringing extra people. I feel like it's akin to her inviting us to have Thankgiving with them, and me announcing that I would also be bringing my parents, my sister, and six friends, and then expecting her to either cook or coordinate dinner for 8 nights for people she barely knows. Or am I wrong about this too? Does accepting monetary help during my husband's unemployment (during which no one wanted my DH to have to go out of his way to actually care for the kids - hence the help with childcare) mean I am now the personal caterer for their extended family gatherings?


OP, I really think you need to consider this from your MIL's perspective. You told her it's her year, she only gets that every other year. You tell her you don't want to fly because you have young kids. She wants to spend it with other family, but can't host or you won't come. Yes, she could tell them no, she can't see them until next year, but maybe she is using them as a buffer as some pp's suggested. It seems to me she really is trying to do the best she can under the stipulations you give her. Just think about it.
Anonymous
Post 12/29/2014 15:14     Subject: Re:How would you react?
foreign people have foreign ways

If there is a next time, open your mouth and express what you mean. They can't read your mind.
Anonymous
Post 12/29/2014 15:05     Subject: How would you react?
I'm sorry- are the 'foreign cousins' not really cousins or something? I'm not understanding this descriptor or why it matters
Anonymous
Post 12/29/2014 15:05     Subject: How would you react?
Anonymous wrote:You offered to host, after MIL said she'd pay for a restaurant. Yes, you are crazy to think she would have reimbursed you.


+1 OP, your MIL came out to you, per your request. Your MIL skipped the dinner, per your request. It seems like she is fully accommodating you. In the future you will be able to decide what is more important to you (a relaxed environment for kids vs. not having to pay for dinner) and it sounds like your MIL will go along with your choice without complaint.
Anonymous
Post 12/29/2014 15:02     Subject: How would you react?
Except you aren't the personal caterer. They offered to take everyone out for dinner but you declined. Did it ever occur to you that they had planned to see all these people for Christmas but since you guys refused to travel they changed plans? Your in laws sound like great people. It's a shame they have a son and daughter in law like you two. You're unbelievable.
Anonymous
Post 12/29/2014 15:00     Subject: How would you react?
I can't remember the last time I've seen such an ungrateful person on DCUM. OP, we get it. Your in laws are horrible people who only think of themselves and don't care about your convenience. That's what you want to hear right? Disgusting. You should be ashamed of your behavior. I only hope your in laws realize what an ungrateful person you are and never lift a finger again for you.

Anonymous
Post 12/29/2014 14:54     Subject: How would you react?
OP Here - I have certainly received my comeuppance here today, which is fine. The dinner was more of a "wouldn't it just be more convenient for the foreign cousins (with 4 kids) - and our kids - if it was at a house instead of a restaurant" and me saying "I guess I can make it work so long as I don't have to cook for 15 people on the day after XMAS" as opposed to a big invitation. But no matter. Honest question, though, isn't it unusual for my in laws to invite other family members to our Christmas celebration anyway? I mean I would never visit them and inform them I was bringing extra people. I feel like it's akin to her inviting us to have Thankgiving with them, and me announcing that I would also be bringing my parents, my sister, and six friends, and then expecting her to either cook or coordinate dinner for 8 nights for people she barely knows. Or am I wrong about this too? Does accepting monetary help during my husband's unemployment (during which no one wanted my DH to have to go out of his way to actually care for the kids - hence the help with childcare) mean I am now the personal caterer for their extended family gatherings?