Anonymous
Post 12/24/2014 16:23     Subject: Complicated holidays at the in laws'
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, you are not an asshole, a horrible person, a bitch or a princess. You just sound tired. I recommend you stuff both boys into the stroller and walk very briskly to the nearest playground while your DH watches football or has a run or whatever. Then switch off. DH takes them to the mall to play with the train table at the toy store. Or, you have a family outing to get the wiggles out, then follow up with videos for the boys. Also, make heavy use of TV for the boys in general.

I had the same - my ILs AND my own parents were veeeery reluctant to ever take on any child watching. My husband and I have never been offered any childcare, nights out, or weekends away, and we never will be! We realized this, adjusted, accepted. Now we laugh about it.


NP - Team OP here. She sounds tired and I don't blame her one bit. It is never a vacation with little ones, just someplace else where routines are disrupted, things are easier like at home where you have childproofed sections. So what she is doing is much harder. If the in-laws want to relax on vacation, then they might have to face not seeing the grandkids. Grandkids are chaos. I would just try out the requests and if they step up to help, vacationing with them could work out. If not, you may just have to tell them you're staying home for a few years.


Yes, tell them they can take their pre planning , bedroom, food, early dinner reservations and shove it because you need a vacation . No, wait, you deserve a vacation
Then finish up with threatening to withhold the grandkids since they didn't do enough for you
Sounds like nothing could go wrong with that winner !


None of that amounts to diddly squat when you are exhausted. I have little ones and would rather stay home than do this. And there are nice ways to say that you can't make these kind of outings with little ones. Don't have to be nasty like you. Some of us are very diplomatic. I just want OP to know that it's OK to feel how she feels and it's OK to ask for help and it's OK to can it next year.


Huh? Read the original post . It was one early dinner and she said she appreciated it . Don't make things up
Anonymous
Post 12/24/2014 16:22     Subject: Complicated holidays at the in laws'
Their-they're.....because you know someone would discount the entire post
Anonymous
Post 12/24/2014 16:21     Subject: Re:Complicated holidays at the in laws'
Anonymous wrote:OP, I think it's reasonable to ask for help with kids. Maybe your MIL does not want to get in your way or is afraid to do something wrong. When we visit my parents or ILs, I rarely see my kids because grandparents take over. They don't see it as help, they are enjoying their time with kids.
I don't understand the vitriol on this thread.


+1

What would not be ok would be giving the kids off when they're being particularly rowdy. One of you should be available, too. But a little help would be nice -- i mean, they are there to see their grandparents and uncle / aunt too!
Anonymous
Post 12/24/2014 16:21     Subject: Complicated holidays at the in laws'
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, you are not an asshole, a horrible person, a bitch or a princess. You just sound tired. I recommend you stuff both boys into the stroller and walk very briskly to the nearest playground while your DH watches football or has a run or whatever. Then switch off. DH takes them to the mall to play with the train table at the toy store. Or, you have a family outing to get the wiggles out, then follow up with videos for the boys. Also, make heavy use of TV for the boys in general.

I had the same - my ILs AND my own parents were veeeery reluctant to ever take on any child watching. My husband and I have never been offered any childcare, nights out, or weekends away, and we never will be! We realized this, adjusted, accepted. Now we laugh about it.


NP - Team OP here. She sounds tired and I don't blame her one bit. It is never a vacation with little ones, just someplace else where routines are disrupted, things are easier like at home where you have childproofed sections. So what she is doing is much harder. If the in-laws want to relax on vacation, then they might have to face not seeing the grandkids. Grandkids are chaos. I would just try out the requests and if they step up to help, vacationing with them could work out. If not, you may just have to tell them you're staying home for a few years.


Yes, tell them they can take their pre planning , bedroom, food, early dinner reservations and shove it because you need a vacation . No, wait, you deserve a vacation
Then finish up with threatening to withhold the grandkids since they didn't do enough for you
Sounds like nothing could go wrong with that winner !


None of that amounts to diddly squat when you are exhausted. I have little ones and would rather stay home than do this. And there are nice ways to say that you can't make these kind of outings with little ones. Don't have to be nasty like you. Some of us are very diplomatic. I just want OP to know that it's OK to feel how she feels and it's OK to ask for help and it's OK to can it next year.
Anonymous
Post 12/24/2014 16:21     Subject: Complicated holidays at the in laws'
Can anyone else picture the OP sticking her head in between the MIL and FIL as their sitting on the couch with hot cocoa with their legs up, and brightly exclaiming " anyone want to help with the tantrum over there ? "
And then 20 minutes later as they are getting out of the shower and in robes " soooooo... Who wants to clean up the food on the wall while I go for a run ?"
Please OP, just stop it
Anonymous
Post 12/24/2014 16:20     Subject: Complicated holidays at the in laws'
Anonymous wrote:Have you actually asked for some help? Some people really need some specific requests. To mom in law:" Can you keep an eye on little Joey for 15 minutes while I shower and dry my hair"?


This. And in return, offer to help out with household stuff later on.
Anonymous
Post 12/24/2014 16:18     Subject: Complicated holidays at the in laws'
OP, why don't you just ask for help?
Anonymous
Post 12/24/2014 16:18     Subject: Complicated holidays at the in laws'
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, you are not an asshole, a horrible person, a bitch or a princess. You just sound tired. I recommend you stuff both boys into the stroller and walk very briskly to the nearest playground while your DH watches football or has a run or whatever. Then switch off. DH takes them to the mall to play with the train table at the toy store. Or, you have a family outing to get the wiggles out, then follow up with videos for the boys. Also, make heavy use of TV for the boys in general.

I had the same - my ILs AND my own parents were veeeery reluctant to ever take on any child watching. My husband and I have never been offered any childcare, nights out, or weekends away, and we never will be! We realized this, adjusted, accepted. Now we laugh about it.


NP - Team OP here. She sounds tired and I don't blame her one bit. It is never a vacation with little ones, just someplace else where routines are disrupted, things are easier like at home where you have childproofed sections. So what she is doing is much harder. If the in-laws want to relax on vacation, then they might have to face not seeing the grandkids. Grandkids are chaos. I would just try out the requests and if they step up to help, vacationing with them could work out. If not, you may just have to tell them you're staying home for a few years.


Yes, tell them they can take their pre planning , bedroom, food, early dinner reservations and shove it because you need a vacation . No, wait, you deserve a vacation
Then finish up with threatening to withhold the grandkids since they didn't do enough for you
Sounds like nothing could go wrong with that winner !
Anonymous
Post 12/24/2014 16:16     Subject: Complicated holidays at the in laws'
Anonymous wrote:OP, you are not an asshole, a horrible person, a bitch or a princess. You just sound tired. I recommend you stuff both boys into the stroller and walk very briskly to the nearest playground while your DH watches football or has a run or whatever. Then switch off. DH takes them to the mall to play with the train table at the toy store. Or, you have a family outing to get the wiggles out, then follow up with videos for the boys. Also, make heavy use of TV for the boys in general.

I had the same - my ILs AND my own parents were veeeery reluctant to ever take on any child watching. My husband and I have never been offered any childcare, nights out, or weekends away, and we never will be! We realized this, adjusted, accepted. Now we laugh about it.


NP - Team OP here. She sounds tired and I don't blame her one bit. It is never a vacation with little ones, just someplace else where routines are disrupted, things are easier like at home where you have childproofed sections. So what she is doing is much harder. If the in-laws want to relax on vacation, then they might have to face not seeing the grandkids. Grandkids are chaos. I would just try out the requests and if they step up to help, vacationing with them could work out. If not, you may just have to tell them you're staying home for a few years.
Anonymous
Post 12/24/2014 16:12     Subject: Complicated holidays at the in laws'
Maybe the inlaws would like to spend their time making cookies , enjoying wine with other sister and husband , relaxing around the Fire ....
Not babysitting your kids when there are 2 capable adults there .
I don't understand why you are all of a sudden helpless unless you have a full time nanny for 10 hours /day and aren't used to taking care of your own kids
Anonymous
Post 12/24/2014 16:11     Subject: Complicated holidays at the in laws'
OP, you are not an asshole, a horrible person, a bitch or a princess. You just sound tired. I recommend you stuff both boys into the stroller and walk very briskly to the nearest playground while your DH watches football or has a run or whatever. Then switch off. DH takes them to the mall to play with the train table at the toy store. Or, you have a family outing to get the wiggles out, then follow up with videos for the boys. Also, make heavy use of TV for the boys in general.

I had the same - my ILs AND my own parents were veeeery reluctant to ever take on any child watching. My husband and I have never been offered any childcare, nights out, or weekends away, and we never will be! We realized this, adjusted, accepted. Now we laugh about it.
Anonymous
Post 12/24/2014 16:08     Subject: Re:Complicated holidays at the in laws'
Anonymous wrote:I'd like to know why the husband isn't standing up. Two kids, two parents, One sleeps, one gets up. One runs, the other watches the kids.

Take a walk together after the kids go to bed.

Shower ? You have got to be kidding. But then my sister needed a babysitter everyday so she could shower.


Some moms enjoy playing the woe is me martyr card. Not the life id choose to live but some just operate like that.
Anonymous
Post 12/24/2014 16:07     Subject: Re:Complicated holidays at the in laws'
I'd like to know why the husband isn't standing up. Two kids, two parents, One sleeps, one gets up. One runs, the other watches the kids.

Take a walk together after the kids go to bed.

Shower ? You have got to be kidding. But then my sister needed a babysitter everyday so she could shower.
Anonymous
Post 12/24/2014 16:04     Subject: Complicated holidays at the in laws'
Anonymous wrote:"I don't understand the vitriol on this thread."

You didn't see the entitlement and stupidity in OP's post?

No, she does not sound entitled, she sounds tired. You, on the other hand, sound bitter and miserable.
Anonymous
Post 12/24/2014 16:02     Subject: Complicated holidays at the in laws'
"I don't understand the vitriol on this thread."

You didn't see the entitlement and stupidity in OP's post?