Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:HHI $150k. We live in a townhouse in the suburbs, drive older cars, and do not feel the need to impress anyone with anything. We have one in private at $30,000/year and we're doing just fine. It's all a matter of priorities.

This is sad. You are going to die when your kid goes to college and is around other kids doing just as well and the parenrs are not living in a townhouse and driving older cars. Unless your children have learning disabilities or are genuiuses, you're sacrificing way too much. Your kid will probably end up talking to a therapist about it one day. My in-laws did something similar and now my husband realizes how foolish they were. His dad has had to work a few more years before retirement and for little to no benefit.

What's sad is your view of living in a townhouse and driving older cars. Sounds pompous and out of touch.

+1, if you're already living in the suburbs in a townhouse, why not at least live in a suburb with decent public schools, and save yourself 30k a year. What you are doing seems impractical and foolish.

What is your definition of decent public schools? We live in Fairfax county, and frankly, the schools suck. 30+ kids per class, 3 out of 4 teachers our kid had were awful, there is no new material taught after March because it's all SOL review, and literally nothing is taught after the SOLs, science is pretty much non-existent until middle school...I could go on. Will a kid learn enough to graduate and get into a college? Probably. Will that kid have an enriching and well rounded education and develop a true love of learning? Definitely not. Education is something you only get one chance at. I can see the value in doing it right.

I'm with you. I went to a "good" public school, and it was nowhere near what my son is getting a private school. I was miserable, but my parents couldn't afford private school… All their money was tied up in the house. I deliberately chose the opposite for my family. It means a lot to me too have the power to move him to a different school if this one doesn't suit him, we're not trapped by our local public. Frankly, I think the 13 years of primary and secondary school are more important then the subsequent four years of college.

Everybody makes different choices… And, seemingly, everyone else takes other people's choices as a referendum on their own.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:HHI $150k. We live in a townhouse in the suburbs, drive older cars, and do not feel the need to impress anyone with anything. We have one in private at $30,000/year and we're doing just fine. It's all a matter of priorities.

This is sad. You are going to die when your kid goes to college and is around other kids doing just as well and the parenrs are not living in a townhouse and driving older cars. Unless your children have learning disabilities or are genuiuses, you're sacrificing way too much. Your kid will probably end up talking to a therapist about it one day. My in-laws did something similar and now my husband realizes how foolish they were. His dad has had to work a few more years before retirement and for little to no benefit.

What's sad is your view of living in a townhouse and driving older cars. Sounds pompous and out of touch.

+1, if you're already living in the suburbs in a townhouse, why not at least live in a suburb with decent public schools, and save yourself 30k a year. What you are doing seems impractical and foolish.

What is your definition of decent public schools? We live in Fairfax county, and frankly, the schools suck. 30+ kids per class, 3 out of 4 teachers our kid had were awful, there is no new material taught after March because it's all SOL review, and literally nothing is taught after the SOLs, science is pretty much non-existent until middle school...I could go on. Will a kid learn enough to graduate and get into a college? Probably. Will that kid have an enriching and well rounded education and develop a true love of learning? Definitely not. Education is something you only get one chance at. I can see the value in doing it right.

Anonymous wrote: We have also struggled with the private school vs. more money for kids at inheritance and concluded that if you forego private school in favor of giving your kids a larger inheritance, we're really just skipping a generation---ie, by the time your kids get the inheritance, they will likely have figured out their own lives and so the inheritance will just go to the grandkids. or maybe actually your great grand kids' private school education if you live long enough (i.e. your grand kids would be having kids around when you die so they could plan on private).

Not necessarily. There are a lot of benefits to parental wealth beyond inheritance .... Security in the case of job loss, assistance with a large down payment, ability to withstand medical tragedy. It's bizarre that so many seemingly smart people don't save enough.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:HHI $150k. We live in a townhouse in the suburbs, drive older cars, and do not feel the need to impress anyone with anything. We have one in private at $30,000/year and we're doing just fine. It's all a matter of priorities.

This is sad. You are going to die when your kid goes to college and is around other kids doing just as well and the parenrs are not living in a townhouse and driving older cars. Unless your children have learning disabilities or are genuiuses, you're sacrificing way too much. Your kid will probably end up talking to a therapist about it one day. My in-laws did something similar and now my husband realizes how foolish they were. His dad has had to work a few more years before retirement and for little to no benefit.

What's sad is your view of living in a townhouse and driving older cars. Sounds pompous and out of touch.

+1, if you're already living in the suburbs in a townhouse, why not at least live in a suburb with decent public schools, and save yourself 30k a year. What you are doing seems impractical and foolish.

Anonymous wrote:Op, don't do it. Save so that your kids & grand kids can inherit something! It's really foolish to put your family in a precarious financial situation....what if one of you lost a job, got cancer, etc.

Oh please public school parent coming onto private school forum. They have PLENTY of money to afford one child going to a 30K school. Give me a freaking break on a precarious financial situation for someone with no debt making 33K a month. Many families don't make that in a year.

We have also struggled with the private school vs. more money for kids at inheritance and concluded that if you forego private school in favor of giving your kids a larger inheritance, we're really just skipping a generation---ie, by the time your kids get the inheritance, they will likely have figured out their own lives and so the inheritance will just go to the grandkids. or maybe actually your great grand kids' private school education if you live long enough (i.e. your grand kids would be having kids around when you die so they could plan on private).

What's wrong with living in a townhouse and owning older cars? Why is this "too much of a sacrifice." They have a safe roof over their heads! Not everyone cares so much about having a big SFH.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:HHI $150k. We live in a townhouse in the suburbs, drive older cars, and do not feel the need to impress anyone with anything. We have one in private at $30,000/year and we're doing just fine. It's all a matter of priorities.

This is sad. You are going to die when your kid goes to college and is around other kids doing just as well and the parenrs are not living in a townhouse and driving older cars. Unless your children have learning disabilities or are genuiuses, you're sacrificing way too much. Your kid will probably end up talking to a therapist about it one day. My in-laws did something similar and now my husband realizes how foolish they were. His dad has had to work a few more years before retirement and for little to no benefit.

What's sad is your view of living in a townhouse and driving older cars. Sounds pompous and out of touch.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:HHI $150k. We live in a townhouse in the suburbs, drive older cars, and do not feel the need to impress anyone with anything. We have one in private at $30,000/year and we're doing just fine. It's all a matter of priorities.

Are you receiving any aid?

No. We didn't apply for aid. This is our choice, it's what is best for our child, and we can afford it. I have no regrets, and I don't mind the naysayers. I will only be 42 when my child heads off to college, and we are raising a level headed kid who doesn't care what others are driving or living in. Stop trying to place your own insecurities on us. We know what we're doing.

Poorly. We sacrifice mightily to send DC to a private SN school but he needs it. We drive very old cars and have depleted college savings accounts but the sN school was worth every penny

Poorly. We sacrifice mightily to send DC to a private SN school but he needs it. We drive very old cars and have depleted college savings accounts but the sN school was worth every penny

Anonymous wrote:HHI $150k. We live in a townhouse in the suburbs, drive older cars, and do not feel the need to impress anyone with anything. We have one in private at $30,000/year and we're doing just fine. It's all a matter of priorities.

Are you receiving any aid?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:HHI $150k. We live in a townhouse in the suburbs, drive older cars, and do not feel the need to impress anyone with anything. We have one in private at $30,000/year and we're doing just fine. It's all a matter of priorities.

This is sad. You are going to die when your kid goes to college and is around other kids doing just as well and the parenrs are not living in a townhouse and driving older cars. Unless your children have learning disabilities or are genuiuses, you're sacrificing way too much. Your kid will probably end up talking to a therapist about it one day. My in-laws did something similar and now my husband realizes how foolish they were. His dad has had to work a few more years before retirement and for little to no benefit.

You're an awful person, PP. Why do you feel the need to put down someone else's choice in such a fashion? I'm willing to bet these people have looked at their long-term budget and accepted the consequences.

Our HHI is 100K.
We would send DC to private school if we felt he needed it, because we have always lived frugally, have a lot put by already for retirement and college, and could swing the tuition.

The reason PPs with 3-5 times our HHI are wringing their hands and moaning is that they are prioritizing other aspects of their lifestyle over a private school education. And it's their prerogative!

But the point is, most people earning $300K a year *could* pay for private school for a couple of kids if they really wanted to.

Anonymous wrote:HHI $150k. We live in a townhouse in the suburbs, drive older cars, and do not feel the need to impress anyone with anything. We have one in private at $30,000/year and we're doing just fine. It's all a matter of priorities.

This is sad. You are going to die when your kid goes to college and is around other kids doing just as well and the parenrs are not living in a townhouse and driving older cars. Unless your children have learning disabilities or are genuiuses, you're sacrificing way too much. Your kid will probably end up talking to a therapist about it one day. My in-laws did something similar and now my husband realizes how foolish they were. His dad has had to work a few more years before retirement and for little to no benefit.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, don't do it. Save so that your kids & grand kids can inherit something! It's really foolish to put your family in a precarious financial situation....what if one of you lost a job, got cancer, etc.

what are you talking about?! people around here truly think this HHI is normal....its not normal and OP has nothing- zero-zilch to worry about in retirement. and that is not what she was asking!

Um hello, they don't make enough to afford private AND save enough for a rainy day. It seems nutty to pay for private unless you are making 700k+

I tend to agree with you. We make about $500k HHI and am really struggling to justify $35k on one child for private. Yes, on paper it is easily paid for at this income. But what about the "what ifs of life?" Those are the things that keep me wondering.

Agree. We are at 320k and would never consider private. We would move before considering private. We would rather put that 35k in the market each year.