Anonymous wrote:OP here. He has other activities and interests. I'm not worried about that. The being broke part factors in because if I weren't broke, I would probably just keep paying for lessons and push him through til his interest reignited (hoping that it would- this happened with my daughter and her instrument). Right now though, I just can't justify the expense when he's not loving it and resisiting practicing. It's just not worth it.

Also, thanks to all the commiserators! Makes me feel a little better.

I will miss the beautiful sounds of cello practice. A lot.

When I was missing the sound of my daughter playing violin, I took up the instrument. Is that a possibility for you? I don't do it regularly, but I try-- and I get her involved, ask her for tips and advice. I think this works to keep her hand in the game a bit-- and to the extent that she sees me struggle, I point out that it is easier to learn when you are younger. I'm hoping that she will get what I am driving at-- but also I respect that she is her own person and I don't force her or manipulate her any more on the matter than just that. She is so stubborn that I know the more I press her, the more she will resist it.

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry for your troubles.

My kids are younger- oldest is 8- but I can't imagine being this upset myself about something like this (I can't imagine having that much ownership over their activity that I'd be that upset). I don't mean this as a criticism, but I am curious, is that just the way I am or is it because my kids are little? For instance, the oldest has been dancing for 5 years now and I'd be bummed in some ways but not really...

There's a difference between dance and a stringed instrument. My DC is a bit older than your 8 year old, but does both dance and music. To prepare for weekly music lessons, I need to supervise her practice. And even as she is now able to practice independently pieces she has mastered, we enjoy hearng her play every evening. It's really part of our daily evening routine.

Dance lessons, on the other hand, are drop and go. And all the girls at her studio are more or less at about the same level. Whereas with music, children who practice regularly make good progress, and grow in confidence and enthusiasm. Again, in the early years, parental investment is necessary to support even an eager student of music.

OP, is your child involved in any sort of youth orchestra? This year, my DC got involved in a low-key program at school -- over my objections, it just seemed to be too much, much too much -- and it really fed her enthusiasm. She enjoys the social aspect, and the repertoire is more varied than in private lessons.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD took violin and quit after a year. I fully supported her. Its an annoying instrument, both sound-wise and technically speaking. It constantly goes out of tune. I attended her class and 75 percent of the time was spent dealing with technical issues: instruments going out of tune, not enough resin on the bow, etc. She took up the guitar next. Stays in tune for days! She loves it. Great sound too.

Sorry, but the guitar sound is nowhere near as nice. Can't hold a long note, for one thing.

What a dumb comment. The guitar is great--versatile (I have some great classical and jazz guitar recordings), portable, and easy to accompany yourself or others singing. Good guitar is lovely to listen to.

Really? And "violin is an annoying instrument" is not a dumb comment??
Also, I can totally relate to OP. My daughter is eight and has been playing piano for three years, she is up to quite a high standard now. She takes piano exams every year, plays in concerts etc. and it is a HUGE time/emotional investment for both of us. I would be heartbroken if she decided to quit at this point.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. He has other activities and interests. I'm not worried about that. The being broke part factors in because if I weren't broke, I would probably just keep paying for lessons and push him through til his interest reignited (hoping that it would- this happened with my daughter and her instrument). Right now though, I just can't justify the expense when he's not loving it and resisiting practicing. It's just not worth it.

Also, thanks to all the commiserators! Makes me feel a little better.

I will miss the beautiful sounds of cello practice. A lot.

I haven't read the second and third pages, so maybe someone has said this already, but could you take up the cello? You already have one in the house, you love the sound of it... Just pay for some lessons for yourself. I know you said you're broke, but maybe cut back a little on the kid activities and do this for yourself. Or ask your son to teach you for the first six months.

^^This. Your kid is not your puppet.

Not OP but I don't understand the vitriol. If you've ever had kids that have given up an activity that you spent a ton of time managing you would understand. Music lessons when children a young take a lot of parental supervision. Most kids who excel at things are "pushed" when they were young. Give OP a break- she wants to do what's best for her child.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. He has other activities and interests. I'm not worried about that. The being broke part factors in because if I weren't broke, I would probably just keep paying for lessons and push him through til his interest reignited (hoping that it would- this happened with my daughter and her instrument). Right now though, I just can't justify the expense when he's not loving it and resisiting practicing. It's just not worth it.

Also, thanks to all the commiserators! Makes me feel a little better.

I will miss the beautiful sounds of cello practice. A lot.

I haven't read the second and third pages, so maybe someone has said this already, but could you take up the cello? You already have one in the house, you love the sound of it... Just pay for some lessons for yourself. I know you said you're broke, but maybe cut back a little on the kid activities and do this for yourself. Or ask your son to teach you for the first six months.

^^This. Your kid is not your puppet.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. He has other activities and interests. I'm not worried about that. The being broke part factors in because if I weren't broke, I would probably just keep paying for lessons and push him through til his interest reignited (hoping that it would- this happened with my daughter and her instrument). Right now though, I just can't justify the expense when he's not loving it and resisiting practicing. It's just not worth it.

Also, thanks to all the commiserators! Makes me feel a little better.

I will miss the beautiful sounds of cello practice. A lot.

I haven't read the second and third pages, so maybe someone has said this already, but could you take up the cello? You already have one in the house, you love the sound of it... Just pay for some lessons for yourself. I know you said you're broke, but maybe cut back a little on the kid activities and do this for yourself. Or ask your son to teach you for the first six months.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD took violin and quit after a year. I fully supported her. Its an annoying instrument, both sound-wise and technically speaking. It constantly goes out of tune. I attended her class and 75 percent of the time was spent dealing with technical issues: instruments going out of tune, not enough resin on the bow, etc. She took up the guitar next. Stays in tune for days! She loves it. Great sound too.

Sorry, but the guitar sound is nowhere near as nice. Can't hold a long note, for one thing.

What a dumb comment. The guitar is great--versatile (I have some great classical and jazz guitar recordings), portable, and easy to accompany yourself or others singing. Good guitar is lovely to listen to.

It's a matter of taste. The dumb comment is to think that everyone else's taste should be identical to yours.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry for your troubles.

My kids are younger- oldest is 8- but I can't imagine being this upset myself about something like this (I can't imagine having that much ownership over their activity that I'd be that upset). I don't mean this as a criticism, but I am curious, is that just the way I am or is it because my kids are little? For instance, the oldest has been dancing for 5 years now and I'd be bummed in some ways but not really...

I'm PP 11:01. I am sad/disappointed, not upset. She had/has a talent for music and it's ashamed for it to go to waste (at this time), the other part is selfish - I really enjoyed listening to her play. Like I mentioned, she was really good, but just lost the passion and the spark for it.

why do you think? Forced to practice too much? These are kids after all.

IDK. I definitely reinforced practicing every day as a habit from a young age. It was not an issue for many years- just a part of our day. Also, I have found with all my kids that if they don't practice consistently, they don't enjoy it because they don't improve and they keep having to go over the same things at their lessons. Mastery fosters enjoyment and practice leads to mastery.

Agree 100% with PP. The irony is that parents who strive just for fun with music lessons will fail. Mastery of something is fun. I have an 8 year old who I "force" to practice A LOT each day. He is very confident and though he complains you can tell he really does enjoy it. I don't know though at what point, I should make it his decision.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD took violin and quit after a year. I fully supported her. Its an annoying instrument, both sound-wise and technically speaking. It constantly goes out of tune. I attended her class and 75 percent of the time was spent dealing with technical issues: instruments going out of tune, not enough resin on the bow, etc. She took up the guitar next. Stays in tune for days! She loves it. Great sound too.

Sorry, but the guitar sound is nowhere near as nice. Can't hold a long note, for one thing.

Apples and oranges.

Anonymous wrote:Has he seen any of the Two Cellos videos https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uT3SBzmDxGk ? Makes me wish I could play the cello. Maybe they'll inspire him......

(NP). Ha! I was going to go find a video of Two Cellos to post also! They're so fabulous. Plus I have a thing for Croats. . .

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD took violin and quit after a year. I fully supported her. Its an annoying instrument, both sound-wise and technically speaking. It constantly goes out of tune. I attended her class and 75 percent of the time was spent dealing with technical issues: instruments going out of tune, not enough resin on the bow, etc. She took up the guitar next. Stays in tune for days! She loves it. Great sound too.

Sorry, but the guitar sound is nowhere near as nice. Can't hold a long note, for one thing.

What a dumb comment. The guitar is great--versatile (I have some great classical and jazz guitar recordings), portable, and easy to accompany yourself or others singing. Good guitar is lovely to listen to.

+1000

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD took violin and quit after a year. I fully supported her. Its an annoying instrument, both sound-wise and technically speaking. It constantly goes out of tune. I attended her class and 75 percent of the time was spent dealing with technical issues: instruments going out of tune, not enough resin on the bow, etc. She took up the guitar next. Stays in tune for days! She loves it. Great sound too.

Sorry, but the guitar sound is nowhere near as nice. Can't hold a long note, for one thing.

What a dumb comment. The guitar is great--versatile (I have some great classical and jazz guitar recordings), portable, and easy to accompany yourself or others singing. Good guitar is lovely to listen to.

I understand, OP. My 15yo plays cello and is a fantastically talented musician. I would be very upset if she gave it up.

I'd be really sad if my son quit swimming. I totally get it. He's been in swim clubs for years, year round. It is a drudge, very expensive, but he is so good at it and I know that even a little break would be a huge step backwards. He hasn't done anything or said anything about quitting, but I've always known if he wanted to I'd be sad FOR him about it but would let him make the choice. I understand.

Anonymous wrote:DD took violin and quit after a year. I fully supported her. Its an annoying instrument, both sound-wise and technically speaking. It constantly goes out of tune. I attended her class and 75 percent of the time was spent dealing with technical issues: instruments going out of tune, not enough resin on the bow, etc. She took up the guitar next. Stays in tune for days! She loves it. Great sound too.

Sorry, but the guitar sound is nowhere near as nice. Can't hold a long note, for one thing.