Anonymous wrote:I would tell the 35 year old me to enjoy this time. It may not look like it now but this as good as its going to get for a long time (20 years of downhill, so far). That includes finances, health, fun times and relationships.

Why is that? I understand health going downhill, but why the other things (relationships, fun times)?

Anonymous wrote:No matter how you feel you look, you will look back at your beautiful 35 year old self and think "What the hell was I worried about? Look at that SKIN!"

+1

Anonymous wrote:1. live below your means. Stuff is just stuff, most of what you think you need, you don't.

2. Take lots of pictures.

3. Don't forget to play and laugh with your kids.

+1

Live below your means. If you are sitting on some savings in your 50s and can live on less, you feel less freaked out about being laid off.

Take FAMILY pictures (not just formal ones either). Even if you think you look fat, old, tired, whatever. You will want them later and your kids will definitely want them. They love you, not your looks. I wish I had done this.

Enjoy your kids.

I would tell the 35 year old me to enjoy this time. It may not look like it now but this as good as its going to get for a long time (20 years of downhill, so far). That includes finances, health, fun times and relationships.

I'm thinking all of us regardless of age in 20 years will look back and tell ourselves to put down the GD phone, step away from the computer and engage with life. (myself included)

Since you already have children, I would say this:

Make physical and mental wellness a major priority for yourself and your family now. Develop healthy habits now, if you haven't already. Lose weight now, if you need to, and develop a maintenance plan to keep it off. Find one or more activities you love that support your physical and mental well being and develop them as routine parts of your life now.

It is much easier to be healthy, happy and resilient later in life if you develop those habits earlier rather than later.

Anonymous wrote:Somewhat counterinuitive but this is what I'd say.

--Work hard: It's not only health that peaks when you are young. My career peaked mid-thirties. Opportunities may diminish.

--Spend at least some money frivolously. You can always save money for a rainy day (and should to a degree). But if you have the opportunity to take a big trip, recognize that you may not do so again.

--But of course, also be prudent and save some.

--Give yourself a break. It's OK for a while just to feel like vedging in front of the TV at night.

--Try to keep up with some exercise.

Bingo! Find a regime that works well for your skin. Prioritize fitness, even though you think you don't have any time for it at all. Do a health check in and focus on getting your numbers right. Re-think what makes you happy---is it really still the things you enjoyed before family life? Embrace where you are.

Most importantly, enjoy now. You don't want to look back and wonder why the hell you wasted time beating yourself up over things that don't really matter in the end.

Anonymous wrote:What would I tell my younger self?

You don't love him enough to have a child with him.

Having a kid is harder than you think, but it will get better.

Relax, the kid will be alright. It's a phase and you will all get through in good shape.

Have more sex.

You will emerge and rediscover yourself eventually.

NP here. Holy crap this is exactly, exactly what I needed to hear today. I have tears in my eyes right now. I NEED this to be true. At the same time, I want to find a way to be happy with how things are now because I really do have so much to be happy about and I know I'm going to look back and wonder why I didn't appreciate it more.

Enjoy the happy little kid moments in the midst of all the work of having young children. They grow up so fast!

Live below your means for financial and spiritual reasons.

Enjoy your thick hair while you have it!

Focus on the good in your aging parents - they won't be with you forever.

Live below your means. Save, Save, Save and Invest. Cut up those DAMN credit cards since you can't seem to be responsible with them!

Get a CT scan at 42-45, to find the kidney tumor before it spread.

Somewhat counterinuitive but this is what I'd say.

--Work hard: It's not only health that peaks when you are young. My career peaked mid-thirties. Opportunities may diminish.

--Spend at least some money frivolously. You can always save money for a rainy day (and should to a degree). But if you have the opportunity to take a big trip, recognize that you may not do so again.

--But of course, also be prudent and save some.

--Give yourself a break. It's OK for a while just to feel like vedging in front of the TV at night.

--Try to keep up with some exercise.

This is a good, thought-provoking thread.

No matter how you feel you look, you will look back at your beautiful 35 year old self and think "What the hell was I worried about? Look at that SKIN!"

It will get MUCH easier when the kids get a little older and don't need be watched every single second. Even then, it will seem like they will be little forever; but one day you will blink and they'll be big kids, and you'll wonder how you will survive without the babies who needed you so much. Then they'll turn into charming and intelligent people who will be so much more fun than little kids, and you'll wish they could stick around forever while you start planning to help them leave.

If you are working full time, keep in mind that they may start to need you more in the afternoons when they hit middle school.

Oh, and you will lose the extra pounds when you have a little more time for yourself. Don't worry about it and buy some nice things to wear in the meantime.