Anonymous wrote:Per the Census, we live in the wealthiest metro area in the country - yes, higher HHI than SF Bay area or New York City.

The average HHI (which often includes TWO incomes) is less than $100k.

As a middle aged male engineer, I earn about $72k. Not enough according to my wife!

How much does she make?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you give YOUR opinion OP? What do you think the financial definition of a failure in this area?

OP here. I think any amount that works for a family and any combination of earning and non-earning members or revenue stream (SAHP, WOHP, WAHP, Dual income, single income, single parent, divorced parent, alimony, child-support, govt. assistance) that is useful for raising a family is great.

The financial definition of failure in this area is so skewed and so messed up that I am aghast. Around the nation an HHI of 100K means something. And I am sure that there are many people on DCUM who are making less than that and they feel like failures because this forum is full of people bandying around paychecks of 1M +.

If you believe even half of what you read on here about people's incomes, I have a bridge I want to sell you. Do you also believe all the rich people drive beat up Hondas? That's another dcum truism that cracks me up.

Gee, our net worth is almost 5 million, and my car is a beat up 2009 Honda, so it's not completely crazy.

Anonymous wrote:A lot of DW's on this forum seem to have a DH who makes $155,000. Not sure why this is such a common figure, unless it is the same person posting again and again.

That's the top of the GS-15 range, or used to be.

Per the Census, we live in the wealthiest metro area in the country - yes, higher HHI than SF Bay area or New York City.

The average HHI (which often includes TWO incomes) is less than $100k.

As a middle aged male engineer, I earn about $72k. Not enough according to my wife!

Anonymous wrote:A lot of DW's on this forum seem to have a DH who makes $155,000. Not sure why this is such a common figure, unless it is the same person posting again and again.

150K gets you a decent house in the suburbs. I imagine that's a big part of the demographic on these boards.

This question is ridiculous on its face. Do you think that WOH DH is a job, OP? Do all married men work in the same industry? Are they the same age? Same experience? Married men who work outside the house should make as much as they can, compatible with their lifestyle choices, the same as married women who work outside the home, single people who work outside the home, anyone who works from home, etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you give YOUR opinion OP? What do you think the financial definition of a failure in this area?

OP here. I think any amount that works for a family and any combination of earning and non-earning members or revenue stream (SAHP, WOHP, WAHP, Dual income, single income, single parent, divorced parent, alimony, child-support, govt. assistance) that is useful for raising a family is great.

The financial definition of failure in this area is so skewed and so messed up that I am aghast. Around the nation an HHI of 100K means something. And I am sure that there are many people on DCUM who are making less than that and they feel like failures because this forum is full of people bandying around paychecks of 1M +.

If you believe even half of what you read on here about people's incomes, I have a bridge I want to sell you. Do you also believe all the rich people drive beat up Hondas? That's another dcum truism that cracks me up.

True. My honda isn't beat up at all! A little dirty maybe.

Mine either.

Me either. And mine's only 3 years old! Love Hondas.

Anonymous wrote:What on earth? What about how much a DW should make?

+1

Anonymous wrote:I'm a teacher who makes around $50K. Call me shallow but my future DH needs to earn at least that and hopefully more. I worked hard through college and grad school and hope to find someone else who did the same.

By that logic, there could be someone who worked hard in college and grad school and makes 100K so they see you as a slacker just like you would see someone as a slacker if they don't make more than you. 50K is a really small salary for someone with a graduate degree and doesn't really put you in a position to say that income relates to working hard.

This a question that can be answered, but only by you. You need to think carefully about where you want to live, how you want to raise kids, and what you want to spend. As you have observed, there are people who are spending 300 or 400k and think they are just barely affording what they want and value. Other people are living on a faction of this number. You need to understand what your goals are.

I would never consent to not working (I like to feel independent and like to work), so my big question was never price point but gender roles: Is this a man who believes in equity? Is this a man who wants to be has hand's on about raising kids as I am?

The man I married negotiated a new job where he stayed home for 4 hours while our child was little. They took long walks in the morning, before the nanny arrived. The moment the workday was gone, they were pack together again. I've never felt alone with housework and parenting. I put a huge dollar value on this, because it makes a two income household sustainable.

Hi I am interested in the position

Anonymous wrote:My thought on this--while maybe off topic? Is how much in general do you feel you have to make to feel comfortable. As the recent Washingtonian article pointed out--I am not sure how much our HHI could be so that we would feel we are not living paycheck to paycheck. When we first got married as Naïve early 20s in this area we thought 150k, but now two kids in even making more than that ( not by a lot), we still live paycheck to paycheck. I know the daycare ages are hard, and we are still paying of school debt and in a few years it will get easier. I guess my thought is as others have said to me it's more about the family as a whole, where you want to live ( for us closer in so our commute is not ridiculous and we get more time with the family is important), what expenses do you have, and what can you get by on. This answer is different for everyone.

I think it gets hard to generalize on incomes because we start from different places and have different burdens. When my wife and I got married in our mid-30s we didn't own our homes and had about $20k of non-retirement assets. We bought a home when the market was hot and had a couple kids. Our mortgage plus utilities are $2500 a month with 20 years to go and we should really start saving for college. Our HHI is under $100k and we're struggling to pay some hefty medical and dental bills. $150k would be a dream for me and we'd still spend every cent.

And I have a friend who go into a very well-paying career at 23, got help with buying a close-in house and paid it off before 35, so that's a huge zero on her budget. Her daughter is "easy" in health and disposition, she job has great benefits and she would not have to cut anything (except savings) if her income was $50k.

And then there are the endless threads on DCUM of folks feeling poor at $400k.

My thought on this--while maybe off topic? Is how much in general do you feel you have to make to feel comfortable. As the recent Washingtonian article pointed out--I am not sure how much our HHI could be so that we would feel we are not living paycheck to paycheck. When we first got married as Naïve early 20s in this area we thought 150k, but now two kids in even making more than that ( not by a lot), we still live paycheck to paycheck. I know the daycare ages are hard, and we are still paying of school debt and in a few years it will get easier. I guess my thought is as others have said to me it's more about the family as a whole, where you want to live ( for us closer in so our commute is not ridiculous and we get more time with the family is important), what expenses do you have, and what can you get by on. This answer is different for everyone.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you give YOUR opinion OP? What do you think the financial definition of a failure in this area?

OP here. I think any amount that works for a family and any combination of earning and non-earning members or revenue stream (SAHP, WOHP, WAHP, Dual income, single income, single parent, divorced parent, alimony, child-support, govt. assistance) that is useful for raising a family is great.

The financial definition of failure in this area is so skewed and so messed up that I am aghast. Around the nation an HHI of 100K means something. And I am sure that there are many people on DCUM who are making less than that and they feel like failures because this forum is full of people bandying around paychecks of 1M +.

It really depends on your neighborhood and your social circle. It is possible to escape these pressures but it requires moving to another part of DC or finding another set of friends.

Anonymous wrote:What is the expectation of how much a DH should earn in this area? Is it 100K? 200K? 300K? Is it the amount needed to actually support the family on one income? Is anyone earning less than that amount should not have married and had a family? Are they considered abject failures?

100K? 200K? 300K? I've never earned any of those and probably never will. Thank goodness I found the one woman who (usually) does not consider me an abject failure! But, yes, I think most of her friends feel that way about me since their husbands earn so much more.