My ILs are coming after 4 years to visit us from another country. They will stay for at least 3 months. I have a few months to prepare for their arrival.

The one adjustment I have to make is that they are in the habit of having 3 fresh cooked meals a day and will not eat anything that is cooked and kept in the refrigerator. That is the biggest adjustment for me because I have become used to freezing meals. The benefit is that we all will eat really healthy when they are here.

I am glad my kids get the chance to spend time with them. I really miss that. I feel that the house feels empty after they leave. We all get a little depressed. I have become very sensitive to the fact that our extended families are so far away and we spend so little time with them.

DH or I see his parents once a week now that they are elderly.

18:14. Not just sporting events, either. MIL insists that birthdays are a family event so of course her birthday and FIL's, my DH's and his only sibling, my SIL, and I finally insisted that I did not want a birthday party thrown for me by my MIL. Considering that we all have different birth months...

Mine live locally, so far too often. They come to every sports game of each of my kids and expect me to talk to them on the sidelines. I've started to not go to every game so that I don't have to hang out with them. They expect me to only talk to them, too...mil gets all pissy and annoyed if I talk to other parents/spectators there.

My in-laws are welcome to come and visit as often as they want, as long as they want. My children love having their grandparents around.

Anonymous wrote:We go there a couple times per year, once for a week and once for a few days over the holidays. ILs used to visit us a couple of times per year for a few days at a time, but MIL is starting to have mobility issues and sadly I don't think there will be too many more visits.

Does anyone else find thoughts of the future, when your own children have families, depressing given how many people seem intolerant of in-laws?

This is a very self-selecting board and these threads even more so. In my own group, the vast, vast majority of people who don't have local family would welcome either set of family moving to town. Its just easier, given relatively normal, functioning relationships with one's parents.

We visit my parents 5 or so times a year, they each come down 4 times or so. DH's parents 3-4 times. We basically see someone once a month from the grandparents pool.

My best friend has helpful (well MIL, her FIL is worthless on many levels) but very clingy, needy, dependent inlaws that I've had a front row seat to observe sometimes. Things actually got easier for her about 4 years ago when they moved from being a 4 hour drive away to being 20 minutes up the road. It became shorter bursts, less intense and of course, they weren't house guests. I think that might be key for some actually. Its hard to do weeks on end with someone in your house.

So if they want to come more frequently, I can't blame them, for many grandparents the idea that they won't be close to their grandchildren is very anathema to what they saw as a family norm when they were growing up, they may keep the duration shorter now.

Pretty much every day. If it were up to me, it would be once or twice a year.

As seldom as possible.

Anonymous wrote:How frequently do you see your in-laws and how long, on average, is each visit. We don't see my MIL that often - 5 times a year - but she likes to stay for a week. She's decided she wants to see the kids more often, so wants to come every 6 weeks or so. I'm trying to figure out if most ILs visit for a shorter time. I cannot to 10 week long stays with her, but want to get a sense of what's typical before raising with DH.

That's a lot, one week several times a year is like a roommate.

One set comes a few times while on other travel and stay weekends, the other set come once or twice for 3-4 weeks. We have hit a groove on those long stays, especially with grocery shopping and bills. We both work full time so they just hang out in our house eating.

4 or 5 times a year at 6 hours a pop. They live about 5 hours away and MIL is borderline agoraphobic. We haven't visited them in 4 years. Fine with me!

A few times a month since they're local.

2-3 times a year, 5-7 days at a time.

This year has been a blissful one with only two visits that lasted 5 days each.

Once a year for less than a week.

We go there a couple times per year, once for a week and once for a few days over the holidays. ILs used to visit us a couple of times per year for a few days at a time, but MIL is starting to have mobility issues and sadly I don't think there will be too many more visits.

Does anyone else find thoughts of the future, when your own children have families, depressing given how many people seem intolerant of in-laws?