Anonymous wrote:Well, having just been divorced -- I can at least tell you how the court values your SAHM services economically: $0.00!! Married 22 years and worked for many before becoming SAHM. Even though I stayed home to raise the family and made many sacrifices to put DH's job first, I get no credit for that. Alimony is not the norm anymore as long as you are considered capable of working. So despite having made six figures before I quit working and only being able to get a job making $40K now because my skills are no longer relevant, I get nothing.
I was never a proponent of pre-nups before, but I will make sure that my daughters have some sort of pre-nup or post-nup if they ever decide to be SAHMs. I don't regret staying home -- it was wonderful for me and for my kids. However, if I had it to do over, I would continue working at least part-time to maintain my skills and contacts.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:There is no monetary equivalent for raising your own children. The pay is not in dollars.
Agree. The other posters have no idea how valuable it is. The highest calling and job a woman can have is wife and mother. Obviously many here dishonor that.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:There is no monetary equivalent for raising your own children. The pay is not in dollars.
That's what I was thinking, however I probably would have said it in a less confrontation way. My DH and I were not willing to put our kids in daycare or leave them with a nanny for 9 hours a day. There is no amount of money that anyone could have paid me that would have changed that. Of course we saved money by not using child care and a housekeeper. But that's not where my value as a SAHM was. My value was in simply being fully present with my children when they were young. I could never put a price on that.
My value is being able to demonstrate to my children what a professional, educated working female looks like. To each their own, but drop the morale superiority.
Right. Which I why I clearly stated that those were things that WE valued. You cannot place a monetary value on something like this because not everyone is going to see the value. I can understand why you work. It's not difficult for me to see the value of having a mother who works outside the home. It baffles me that you can't see the value of a SAHM. And for what it's worth, kids can learn what a "professional, educated working female looks like" even if their own mother chose to SAH. My daughter finished her Masters Degree two years ago and has been working full time since she graduated from college. Clearly my staying at home when she was a baby didn't stunt her intellectual growth too much.
Anonymous wrote:There is no monetary equivalent for raising your own children. The pay is not in dollars.
Anonymous wrote:Then how much does a working mom who is also primary parent provide? I do food cooking cleaning laundry drop offs night wakes baths organizing and playing, schedule everything and plan. And I am the main breadwinner. So my services would be another $22 per hour for all that work, plus my salary.
It's an asinine little game. It's worth what you are willing to exchange for it.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:There is no monetary equivalent for raising your own children. The pay is not in dollars.
That's what I was thinking, however I probably would have said it in a less confrontation way. My DH and I were not willing to put our kids in daycare or leave them with a nanny for 9 hours a day. There is no amount of money that anyone could have paid me that would have changed that. Of course we saved money by not using child care and a housekeeper. But that's not where my value as a SAHM was. My value was in simply being fully present with my children when they were young. I could never put a price on that.
My value is being able to demonstrate to my children what a professional, educated working female looks like. To each their own, but drop the morale superiority.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:There is no monetary equivalent for raising your own children. The pay is not in dollars.
That's what I was thinking, however I probably would have said it in a less confrontation way. My DH and I were not willing to put our kids in daycare or leave them with a nanny for 9 hours a day. There is no amount of money that anyone could have paid me that would have changed that. Of course we saved money by not using child care and a housekeeper. But that's not where my value as a SAHM was. My value was in simply being fully present with my children when they were young. I could never put a price on that.
My DH and I were not willing to put our kids in daycare or leave them with a nanny for 9 hours a day
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:There is no monetary equivalent for raising your own children. The pay is not in dollars.
That's what I was thinking, however I probably would have said it in a less confrontation way. My DH and I were not willing to put our kids in daycare or leave them with a nanny for 9 hours a day. There is no amount of money that anyone could have paid me that would have changed that. Of course we saved money by not using child care and a housekeeper. But that's not where my value as a SAHM was. My value was in simply being fully present with my children when they were young. I could never put a price on that.
Anonymous wrote:There is no monetary equivalent for raising your own children. The pay is not in dollars.